Happy New Year

Wow, it has been a long time!
This last year has been CRAZY. It had many hardships, like every other year, but it also had some very good points. I have been truly blessed, and for the first time in my life, I feel like I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I love my life, I love my fiance and our son, I love our new house, and I am truly happy :)

As far as weight loss goes... I have been slowly gaining back the weight I lost for over a year now. Today was the first time I weighed myself in about 7 months. I am 10 pounds away from my starting weight. So I didn't gain it ALL back... Today is the first time in a LONG time I feel excited about losing weight. My life is so much better now, I know I will do great. Wish me luck!!! :)

I always hated when a blogger just shut down the blog without saying anything, so I didn't want to do that to you who supported me.
I want to thank you with all my heart.
I have always been a very private person, and this was a great experiance. It has taken me so long to say goodbye, because I really thought I would start blogging again...

But it's time to say goodbye.

I guess because I really put myself out there, I couldn't take it when my private life was thrown in my face, or when my honesty was questioned. Don't get me wrong, the constructive criticism was great, and the random 'anonymous' asshole, or the King Trolls just made me laugh... I'm talking about people acting like they support you, are your friend even, and then completely turn on you... especially when they never been through it. Especially when I was completely honest about everything and then called a liar. That's just negativity I don't need. I had so much drama and real issues in my real life, I just didn't need any petty bull shit from anywhere else. Needless to say, that negativity pushed me away from blogging a long time ago.

It really was mostly a great experience :) Everyone of you that I follow, I follow for a reason. I want to thank you for your support when I needed it, and I will never forget it!!!
I wish you all the best!!! Have a Happy 2012, and beyond!
Thank you again, from the bottom of my heart!
Sincerely,
~Tina

'when writing the story of your life, never let someone else hold the pen'

Happy Easter!

How ever you celebrated, I hope you were with the ones you love and had a great day!

I don't feel 100%, but I do feel Lucky

My mood was good. It was so beautiful! I got to have my windows open and everything! The only snow left is the mountains at the end of the streets from the plows :)

My food? Not so great. I slept in, and now am up late... and hungry :( I did ok for meals, but had 3 cookies instead of one... AND a 320 calorie danish this morning...
I want to be able to have just one, but maybe Jo is right. I should just cut off the sweets all together for now... because just one didn't work very well today...
I got in 20 oz of water, but tomorrow I want to get back to getting at least 40. I'll go back to using a water bottle, thanks colenic! :)

I didn't get on the treadmill. I did some laundry, so it has a bunch of clothes drying on it right now in fact. I'm not going to promise I'll get on it tomorrow, because I probably won't. I did work up a little sweat just doing dishes and some cleaning... I have really neglected the house for the last 2 months...

My depression was very deep, and now I have the aftermath to deal with. Things I've neglected, bills, laundry, you name it. A lot has happened, but now that I'm starting to feel better, I don't really want to think about it. The issues aren't really resolved, so they may come up later... but for now I'm going to try and be happy. Especially with everything going on in the world right now... I don't want to complain. I feel very blessed. Today wasn't the best, but oh my goodness it could have been much worse! Tomorrow will be better :)

On this St. Patrick's Day I am feeling very lucky. Lucky I don't live in the middle east. Lucky I don't have to deal with an earth quake, tsunami, or anything else Japan is dealing with. Lucky I do not live near a nuclear power plant... Lucky Ray works close, and I don't have to spend a fortune on these crazy gas prices. Lucky to have my fiance who loves me and my son who is my world. Lucky to be alive.

Happy St. Patrick's Day. I hope you are feeling lucky!

Or at least drinking a green beer lol :)

Just popping in...

I don't have much to report, I really want to get back in the habit though!

Today I didn't do so well, it was an average day I guess (my new average that is). Hardly any water :( NOT good. Also ordered a burrito, but I can say that I got full and only ate half of it. It was still way to much food, but better than I've been doing... I didn't eat the rest of it.

Even though I didn't do so well, I feel great today :) The snow is melting, and it might get up to 60 degrees tomorrow! Woo Hoo!!! ALL the snow should be gone by tomorrow night :) I think the weather has a lot to do with how depressed I have been. The sun really did me good today. Oh, and I saw my first robin today! That means spring is here right!

Tomorrow I get serious. Slow and steady is still the plan. I'm going to concentrate on drinking enough and JUST ONE. I'll allow myself a cookie in the morning, but only ONE... not 4 like today...

Weigh in is Monday as usual, I don't expect any big loss, but if I do well for the next 4 days... I think 1 pound is a reasonable amount to hope for! lol, slow and steady :)

I hope everyone had a good day!

Where I'm At...

Hi everybody :)
I hope all is well here in Blogland! I've missed it, haven't really been around in 2 months!
I have to say hello to Wendy:), Sorry I've been such a bad hostess to a new follower!

I have been going through a lot these last 2 months, not that it's much different than before... I've just handled it much worse...

Treadmill
I did very well staying on the treadmill every day, for about a month and a half. Then I missed a day, and struggled after that, until I just quit all together. It's been about 3 weeks since I've been on it.

Food
That has been pretty much whatever I want. I actually do ok with portions most of the time, what I'm eating isn't good. I have coffee with 1/2 serving cappuccino mix (55 calories) every morning, but I also have something sweet with it. SOMETHING SWEET ALMOST EVERY MORNING... Like cookies, donuts, danish... Something new for me. Then a cappuccino later (110 cal) most of the time... and sometimes another sweet thing with that!
I haven't been writing what I eat. I stopped on purpose, thinking that it might help... I felt like ALL I thought about was food... I didn't plan on stopping my blog though. So I think I will try and do well without recording the food... It hasn't worked in about 8 months now. It worked at first, but you know what??? I was so motivated and excited ANYTHING would have worked... After recording everything for over a year, I think I know calories pretty well, and portion sizes... but if I feel it will help, I'll go back to it... We'll see what happens :)

The Weight
Every week I thought I would get back to blogging. So I weighed in every Monday, and took a picture every time. My camera is full of pictures of the scale lol. I will update the side chart properly when I get the camera and have the dates and weights. For now I've updated the stats. I am now at 294 pounds, a gain of 7 pounds this year. :( Makes me sick... I have gained back 16 pounds of my highest loss of 42 pounds :( I hoped to never see the 280s again, and here I am in the 290s!
It doesn't do any good to concentrate on the what ifs, or I should haves... I'm lucky I didn't gain more I guess...

So anyway, I am back :) I don't have any set plan, just watch my portions and stop with all the sweet stuff, and as always: cut back on the fast food! I still need to lose weight, and still have all the same hopes and reasons as when I started this blog last year... I am just having a hard time getting motivated, and staying dedicated to it. I know I NEED to though. I'm hoping that being back in Blogland will help me :) Reading all of yours always motivates me, and writing helps with stress...

If your still here thank you :)
If your not, or don't want to be, that's cool. Better to follow a blog that is more suited to you. I sure don't need any more negativity that's for sure!

Ok, here we go again... See you later!

Happy Valentines Day!

Hey everybody :)
I know I've been MIA, and I'm sorry. I'll be back soon!
Been thinking of a lot of you, I hope everyone is doing well!
I wanted to pop in and say Happy Valentines Day :)
This is mine and Ray's song, enjoy.

Monday- the NEW Weigh Day!

And the scale says...

That's a loss of 0 pounds this week

Keeping my Total loss at 33 pounds

Treadmill Totals: 2 hours 6 min/ 4.9 miles

and that's not counting last Saturday/Sunday!

This is the best I've done in the last 3 months :)

Of course I wish it was a loss, but I'm happy with no gain! My eating was not good this week, And after my new Years weekend... I was actually up to over 289!!!

Now I feel good, and motivated. Does that mean I'm going to be perfect? No. But I will try harder and do what I need to do.

Usually on weigh day I have all morning until I have to commit to the number on the scale. But not today. I weighed in and had to go. My brother JW is leaving for Texas for work, and we went to lunch with him. At our favorite Chinese buffet of course... It was nice. Me, Ray and we even let our son out of school so he could come see his Uncle before he left. After we dropped him back at school and JW back home, of course I cried a little. He might be gone for a year this time... I'll miss him. And I worry about him. But I would have been fine except he said "Love you" to us when he got out. He doesn't say that, ever.

Ughh. I'm tearing up right now!

Enough of that....

Here's what I ate today:

Coffee: 55
Double Mocha Cappuccino

Snack: 46

4 cinnamon roasted almonds (10g)

Lunch: 1100?

Chinese Buffet 1 1/2 plates: 3/4 cup veggie fried rice, 1 egg role, 5 SMALL pieces of battered chicken, 3 small piece of sesame chicken, 5 crab rangoon, 1/4 cup mongolian beef, 1/2 cup Broccoli chicken, 2 mushrooms, 2 tbs sweet and sour, 1 tsp soy sauce, water, 1 tiny piece of cake (2 bites), 3 tiny sweet things... a partridge in a pear tree...

Snack: 17

1 chocolate covered pretzel

Bite: 15?

1 bite of potato soup

Iced coffee: 70

with 2 tbs Peppermint Mocha liquid creamer

Snack: 151

Almonds- 14 natural (16g) and 6 cinnamon roasted (13g)

Bite: 28

3 Peppercorn Ranch Sunchips

Total Water: 42 oz

Total Calories: about 1482

I had to guess for lunch, and I think I over guessed... but maybe not? I don't know.

I'm pretty happy with today. I am getting a little hungry, so I'll probably have cereal. If I do I'll be back to write it! I will still be below 2000 :)

Treadmill: 30 minutes/ 1.18 miles with 2 lb weights for 5 minutes

Listening to some of Ray's music, weeding out what I don't want on my playlist :) It makes the time go by so much faster!!!!

In other news, I lost a follower today!!!! *GASP*

No, I'm ok. I was just surprised to see the number down one. I'm not sure who it is yet, was trying to figure it out! I must have offended someone with my last post... that's ok, I guess they don't want to join us in being F*ckin Perfect lol :) oh well, I'm sure it won't be the last time I lose a follower... 

Ok, I'm gonna go now.... Wish me luck. I'm going to need all the positive vibes I can get. It's 11:56pm, and Ray is cooking a chicken wrap. He is going to eat a chicken wrap in front of me!!! With all it's cheesy goodness.... ..... ..... .....

2 days ago, I'd eat one too. Shoot, Yesterday I would have probably eaten one too! But not tonight. I feel good, and proud of myself and I don't want to ruin that.

Have a good night everyone!!!!!