Ummm... Did you remember to cross your fingers???

Ahhh... I kid of course. You all help keep me going. It's not your fault the universe is caving in on me!

As I wrote yesterday, it was a beautiful day. The car was getting the new alternator, everything was good.
It didn't last long... I swear one thing after another just started going wrong. I won't go into all the crazy details of the stupid shit that happened during the day at home... just ONE THING AFTER ANOTHER.

The most important thing was that my son came home and had a good day!!! I was so happy! None of the other things mattered :)

Then I called about the car, it was almost done (3 hours late) and I went to get it. My Mom picked me up, when I went in they were still working on it. He told me a belt was bad and they JUST saw that, it would only be a little longer and $18 more. That's fine. I went and told my Mom to go, but ended up back in the truck just talking. Mostly about her and her appointments with her counselor and how she's doing better. It was nice. I'm glad she's making progress. She commented that it looks like I've been loosing, so I told her yes- I've lost 41 pounds :) "Tina REALLY! WOW, that's great!!!" she went on to say that that gives her hope that maybe she could loose weight and just being really nice and supportive. :) ( she weighs a little less them me i think, but she's got at least 5 inches on me)

Then the guy comes over, wants to show me something with the car. That's fine, I figured it was the other things wrong that I already know about. Nope, he shows me that it's still making the noise, and that the alternator wasn't the problem. He says "I wondered why you wanted an alternator in it... I didn't diagnose it, I just put it in cause they told me too" BULL SHIT!!! The guy had came in and said the bearings are bad in the alternator and that they could fix it. I said "Well yeah I wanted an alternator if that was the problem!" He explained that it's something in the motor and then said that he had thought it was the alternator also, but they would have to get in the motor to see what the real problem is, because even with the new alternator it was still making the noise. I told him my main concern right now is paying for an alternator I don't even need! It all ended up like this: He would take out the new alternator and send it back, he doesn't want to rip me off "We're not here to bend you over a post." were is exact words... yes, very tactful... and they would keep it and get in the motor and call me this morning and tell me what the problem is.
UUUUGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, did I mention that when I got out of Mom's truck to go in the place- I cut the back of my leg on a bunch of rusted metal??? Yeah, just to top it all off I guess. Don't you get tetanus from that? I had a tetanus shot... hmmm... about 13 years go. I should be good right??? *dry laugh* I'll have to look it up online and see if I should go get a shot or what. I don't even know what tetanus is.... but with my luck you know I'll get it!

I tried to stay positive anyway. Once I got home to Ray and our son, it was better :) Ray was really pissed off, but after a while he was better too. I stayed positive, I got dinner ready, only had one serving. I did the treadmill. AND I forced myself to get off the computer and go to bed at midnight...

What I ate yesterday:
Breakfast: (244) coffee, 1 slice peanut butter toast, 1/2 an apple (48 grams)
Snack: (23) 1 Werther's
Lunch: (283) tuna sandwich (1 can tuna, 1 tbs miracle whip, hot pepper rings, 1/8 cup cheddar on NEW Arnold's whole wheat sandwich thins), 7 baby carrots, 1/2 tbs light ranch, water
Dinner: (640) 3 bites of peas, left over broccoli chicken Alfredo (about 1 cup and 3/4 cup of pasta), 1 slice of toast w a little country crock and parmesan, 1 cup ff skim milk
Snack: (205) 1 1/2 cup Special K Vanilla Almond w about 1/2 cup ff skim milk (cats got the rest)
Total Water: 42 oz
Total Calories: 1395
The calories have been pretty good. Low for me!
I found those Arnold's sandwich thins, I really like them. I was a little disappointed to see they were 100 calories, but that is 40 less than my 2 slices of bread. So it's good.

Yesterday's Treadmill: 15 minutes/ .55 mile
Total Days in a row: 29

Today the boy had to walk to school, since the car is still at the shop. He wasn't happy but he'll live. He left, Ray is still at work, I'm alone. I completely broke down. I'm glad he didn't come home, he would have found me with my head in my arms sobbing, like someone died. Completely broken.

Of course now that I've got all that out, I feel a little better. Not good really. Still down, but I know it's not the end of the world. Even without a car we will be ok. No one died, nothing horrible has happened, my problems are NOT the end of the world. Other people have it far worse... I know all this, and I tried so hard to stay positive, but I just can't today... maybe when Ray comes home I'll feel better. Of course when my son does I will.

Oh, on top of all that? I find out I have to report to jury duty October 1st. :(

AND I have my Joy of Being a Woman appointment today... UUUGGGHHHHH! The only good thing about that is I will get weighed... it's actually the first of a few goal dates I have. I wanted to loose as much as I could by the time I had to do this again. I've been at it a little over 8 months, have lost 41 pounds. Since the weight they have will be from last summer, I'm not sure what it is exactly... It won't be as big of a loss. But it will be a loss :) I just jumped on the scale to prepare myself for how I'm doing. I'm at 278.6 right now. My lowest I've seen so far, so that's cool. I wish I was in a better mood for the news, but it does help :) That's down .4 so far this week, and I already had 'breakfast.' All I have to do is be good and it will be a loss Friday for sure. I can do it!

I'm off to deal with the car, completely deplete my bank account I'm sure, and have my exam. Just a day full of fun.

Glad THAT'S Over With!!!

Today was my weekly weigh in... it seems like FOR EVER since I stepped on the scale, but it's only been since last Friday! I was dreading today... and for good reason! The scale says...

Yes... that's a gain. A 4.4 pound gain.

I weighed 287 pounds 7 weeks ago! SEVEN!!!

It's like I have wasted 7 weeks!

This week I only did 2 days of treadmill, making my totals:

46 minutes/ 1.8 miles

Needless to say, I am disappointed in myself... but I knew this was coming today, that's why I was dreading it. BUT it's done with, and it's time to move on!!!

I have the same plan of attack I started out with on January 1st 2010. Except I didn't have my goal of 1 mile a day on the treadmill. Now that I have been off it for at least 5 days now, I am a little worried it will be hard for me to do the whole mile. But I will get on it anyway, and hope for the best! Anything is better than nothing right? Blogging every day even if it's just to record my food, will be mandatory! K, I think those are the main things I have to remember...

A new reason to make sure I loose weight, is my blood pressure. I actually went to a doctor today!!! WIERD RIGHT? I don't do doctors, well it was actually the med center, because I don't have a doctor. I won't go into to much detail, but I got bit up at my mom's 2 weeks ago tomorrow. There were biting flies out and mosquitoes, and they got me. Well, long story short, I have large rash like spots on my legs still. After going on the Internet and scaring myself into thinking I had ring worm, I forced myself to go in today. It is not ring worm, but an allergic reaction to the fly bites... but anyway, back to the point.

My blood pressure is ONE away from being high. I'm not sure of the numbers, but I think it was 139, and high is over 140. I feel extremely lucky that I don't have really high blood pressure, diabetes(that I know of), asthma, or any other serious condition. Especially at my weight! I mean that, I am SO THANKFUL.  I also had to weigh in twice lol. The scale there said 290, and I had my flip flops and clothes on, so I think my scale must be pretty accurate.

Here's what I ate today:

Breakfast: (200) 9.5 oz bottle of iced coffee

Lunch: (709) Tuna sandwich with 1 tbs miracle whip, 1 slice of 2% cheese, pickle slices, on whole wheat. 3/4 cup macaroni salad, 5 baby carrots with 1 tbs light ranch.

Snack: (355) .5 oz almonds, .5 oz cinnamon almonds, 9.5 oz iced coffee

Snack: (130) Hearts of Romain Salad with 3 tbs croutons and 2 tbs thousand island dressing

Dinner: (590) 1 broccoli stuffed chicken, 1 cup broccoli cheese rice, Water

Snack: (15) 6 small pieces of watermelon

Total Water: 50 oz

Total Calories: 1999
Could have been better, but it could have been worse, like the total binging of the last week!!! I was HUNGRY a lot of today :( But I know once I am eating small portions, my stomach will shrink back up and it won't take as much to fill it. I don't know what made me buy thousand island dressing, just trying something new. I know a lot of people love it... well, I thought it tasted like ketchup, miracle whip and pickles. lol, I would eat it on a burger, but probably not on another salad :) This week I have drank one or 2 of those ice coffees every day. I need to cut down on those, WAY down.

Treadmill: 16 minutes/ .61 miles

Was a little harder than I though. Even though it was only 16 minutes, I was a little out of breath and worked up a sweat. Sad... I know.

Tomorrow is the fun day they have every year, over where my brother lives. My son won't do any of the little rides, no matter how I try to talk him into it! He looks forward to the elephant ears though. As much as I wish it was the fun rides and things, it is only one and only once a year. They are pretty good lol. There will be a lot of walking. There are fireworks in the evening and a cook out at my cousins. Now, I have already had 3 cook outs this summer, and I over ate at ALL of them. Tomorrow I want to be able to say I did good, and be proud of myself! It will be hard, but I'm up to the challenge :) Wish me luck!!!