You like that? MOMplaining??? Made it up myself. haha... ugh...
The cookout went ...ok. It was us 3, my brother, my Mom, her boy friend, my Dad and step mom. My other brother that lives there left before my Dad and step mom got there! *rolling my eyes* We only see them once or twice a year, so that was nice.
My Mom just gets on my last nerve... I try to just ignore it. She just acts so loopy when people are around. I think it's nerves, but she just talks out of her ass sometimes... a lot of times...
Like she carried on and on about the neighbors fat dog. It is VERY fat, but she didn't have to go on and on about it! We are not blind, we can see it! Since the dog was out peeing, that means the owners were right on the porch somewhere probably listening to her talk about how they must feed it to much and blah blah blah. I finally said "yeah mom we get it." Then she's telling my dad and step mom how her dog only gets a certain amount of people food per day (which is a complete lie). 5 minutes later she tells them how she used to feed her fried eggs and tuna, and can't figure out why she threw up all the time!!! (I recently listened to her tell a neighbor the same thing) I just sit and listen to all this nonsense... I try not to let it bother me but omg, it gets so annoying...
She brought up something that happened 11 years ago with my brothers, and I had to set her straight about how it really went... how it got turned around on me even though I had NOTHING to do with it (another story for another time)
Then she went and got my son grounded. I don't know if I can explain how it went and make sense... He was sitting by me and wanted to go back in (he hadn't been out long) because he was bored. I told him no. He can sit and visit for a while, it won't kill him. So next thing I know he's across the way, standing next to my Mom. After a minute of him just standing there, I asked him "what are you doing." and he didn't answer me. My brother said "probably hoping mom will tell him to go inside." I said "She knows better than that." and my son is just standing there awkwardly... I tell him to come sit down. I planned on him visiting a little longer and letting him go back in... so my step mom asked him something about his summer, and he doesn't say anything... I look at him and I can tell he's trying not to cry. I'm like WTF (i didn't say that) and say "get in the house. No games, no tv." i was pissed off. That is NOTHING to cry about, having to sit and visit his grandfather once or twice a year isn't to much to ask. No one saw that he was about to cry. So I looked like an asshole. So when my Dad is questioning me about it, I have to explain why I sent him in the house. All the while my Mom says nothing. Not when I first asked him what he was doing, and not now. So I asked her "what? he just walked over there?" Then she decides to say that no, she called him over with her finger and asked him "Is your Mom making you stay out here?" and then just let him stand there... Now that changes everything. I got mad. I said "He was fine!" but whatever. She's an idiot. So while I was mad because he started crying about having to sit out there, that wasn't it at all.
He is still grounded, because he is about to be 12 and does NOT need to be crying like a little girl about it. BUT, it probably won't be for as long as I first thought, because now I feel bad because it's my mom's fault. He is already SO shy, and sitting there and answering the occasional question was bad enough, but he could deal with it. And he was doing fine. Then she has him come over and gives him the hope that she will let him go inside (since she has no respect or anything I say). Then when she doesn't say anything more, he stands there not sure what to do, then I draw attention to him by asking what he's doing. Then telling him to get back over here, so then he is bummed out because he though he was on his way to escaping this outdoor prison of adults, but mostly embarrassed... well that's what I figure anyway. And I figure it's her fault. I figure she is an idiot. Why she called him over? To tell him to go inside... but then decided not to and then... just stopped talking to him? Leaving him standing there kind of lost... I don't know. It's hard to explain. But now I feel really bad knowing that I made the situation worse. I had no idea she called him over there... Ugh, oh well. Like I said, he's still grounded because I don't deal with crying over nothing very well. I've told him before that it's ok to cry if he's hurt, or something hurts his feelings like someone dying... but not just because something doesn't go his way... I'm sticking with it, don't know for how long. I don't mind hearing your thoughts on it either, whether you think I was right, or wrong, to hard on him, or to hard on her...
I love him so much, and I do feel bad about it. I'm mostly just mad at Mom for ruining a perfectly fine day. Of course I'm sure she has no idea, like always. I am getting so sick of her. Some days it's fine. But like right now- I can't stand the thought of seeing her or even speaking to her. I know it sounds bad, especially to those of you that have lost your mother or have no relationship... but I can't help it sometimes... I am just so overwhelmed with her lately....
Ugh.... anyway. Done venting for now. How about we talk about the food?
Here's what I ate yesterday:
Breakfast: 3 pickle wraps as I made them for the cookout
Lunch: 1 hot dog, a little bit of bbq ribs(about 4 oz?), 3 bbq meatballs, 1/3 cup macaroni salad, 3 pickle wraps, water
Dinner @ about 8:30: Tuna sandwich, 6 baby carrots with light ranch, pickle spear, water
Snack: tortilla chips (about 20?) with salsa con queso
Snack: iced coffee and an ice cream cup
Total water: 73 oz
I did over eat a little at lunch, but not to bad. I thought I did good for dinner, then came the snack attack in the middle of the night. We had come home exhausted and all fell asleep! till about 8:00. that really threw me off.
What I are today:
Breakfast: nothing
lunch: rib tips, french fries, cold slaw and mtn frost pop
Snack: bowl of lucky charms w ff skim milk
total water: 12 oz so far
I'll update this later or tomorrow...
Dinner @ 11pm: 1 frozen burrito, about 9 chips and cheese, roamin salad w cheese, croutons 2 tbs light ranch.
Snack: lg bowl of special K fruit&yogurt
8 more oz of water
I have tried to be in a good mood. It is hard, my son is grounded and bored out of his mind, Ray has to go to work after only having one day off in the last 5 days (which isn't that bad lol, but he's not used to it) and mad because the dryer is acting up. Now I have to stay up and get his clothes done, because he likes to wait till JUST before bed to think about work clothes... and did I mention i am starving??? I am going to try not to give into the huge urge to eat junk and make myself feel better... I REALLY want to go get some taco bell!!!! That would be SO good right now! But I won't... probably won't...
My son wants me to watch a movie with him, so that's what we'll do. A movie I like of course since he is grounded ;)
Just updated the food. Even though the burrito wasn't the best choice, it took care of my taco bell craving for a lot less calories...
last woes of summer
1 month ago
