Just popping in...

I don't have much to report, I really want to get back in the habit though!

Today I didn't do so well, it was an average day I guess (my new average that is). Hardly any water :( NOT good. Also ordered a burrito, but I can say that I got full and only ate half of it. It was still way to much food, but better than I've been doing... I didn't eat the rest of it.

Even though I didn't do so well, I feel great today :) The snow is melting, and it might get up to 60 degrees tomorrow! Woo Hoo!!! ALL the snow should be gone by tomorrow night :) I think the weather has a lot to do with how depressed I have been. The sun really did me good today. Oh, and I saw my first robin today! That means spring is here right!

Tomorrow I get serious. Slow and steady is still the plan. I'm going to concentrate on drinking enough and JUST ONE. I'll allow myself a cookie in the morning, but only ONE... not 4 like today...

Weigh in is Monday as usual, I don't expect any big loss, but if I do well for the next 4 days... I think 1 pound is a reasonable amount to hope for! lol, slow and steady :)

I hope everyone had a good day!

Wednesday's Food

Dinner

Made Chicken Taco Soup

Ray's New Year's resolution

was to stop eating beef...

more on that later....

So I made it with chicken. It was good,

but I like it with extra lean beef better.

The calories for using chicken,

Only 1.1 less per serving!

Since I used 1 1/2 pounds though, It came out to a little more.

You can find the recipe for Taco Soup here :)

K, here's what I ate:

Coffee: 55

with 1 1/2 tbs DMC

Breakfast: 130

Fit&Active Apple Cinnamon Fruit and Cereal Bar

Snack: 820

Chocolate covered strawberry shake from Steak N Shake

Lunch: 360

Tuna Sandwich on whole wheat with pepper jack cheese, 1 tbs miracle whip. 6 baby carrots and 1 tbs light ranch. water

Snack: 23

Werther's

Dinner: 1078

2 cups of chicken taco soup. about 20 tortilla chips and 1/2 cup shredded cheese

Total Water: 44 oz

Total Calories: 2336

Ugh! You can't tell, but I actually planned today out. I knew I would be eating a fairly healthy dinner of Chicken Taco Soup, so when Ray wanted to get a buy 1 get one free shake... I thought that was ok. I'd just watch what I ate for the rest of the day. Now, that was a HIGH calorie shake, and it was a regular not a large. I'm not mad about that. It's only the 3rd time in my whole life I've had a shake from there, and it was delicious!

What I'm mad about, is my dinner. I took a fairly low calorie dinner and had 2 helpings, but REALLY ruined it by adding chips and cheese. Why? I don't know... I didn't need it. I just wanted it. Even so, I could have had LESS... 7 chips is a serving, so why 20? I really can't tell you. Stupidity I guess.

Treadmill: 10 minutes/ .37 miles

I really did not want to do this at all. And didn't feel better after I did either! But I did it, as I will everyday no matter what! Gotta stick to my New Year's resolution at least!

Bleh

Must... Have... COFFEE!

Hey everybody :)

Let's get the last few days out of the way shall we?
Since Friday, I have been getting little sleep. I have been snacking way to much. And have been feeling very guilty over spending money on fast food. I have been ok, just a little stressed, but not really depressed or anything. Just a lot of little things all together weighing down on me...
I did write down what I ate... but didn't record it here. Which was a HUGE mistake, and I already know better! The minute I decide I'm not writing it here, I start eating worse...
It didn't get to bad, no complete binging... but a lot of snacking, and giving in to things I just didn't need... things I didn't even really want! Like chips and cheese, a sandwich in the middle of the night... Other than that the food was pretty normal for me, no over eating really, just EXTRA snacking. Mostly to much snacking at night when I'm up till 4 in the morning. The low point? Ray and I actually got Taco Bell at 1:30am Sunday Morning (Sat. night). That is SO BAD, to actually leave the house to go get it too? An old habit I hoped to never see again!

BUT all that is over. Except the fast food problem... But that will be over soon I hope...
Back to normal, and back to recording it!

Yesterday was a busy day. I didn't eat much, but we did have pizza for dinner. We had a quick dinner, I had 2 peices and it was my lunch and dinner.

Then off to my son's first band concert!
I know it makes no sense, but doing anything like that really stresses me out. So that too was weighing on me all week... but once I was there of course I was fine.
I was a little annoyed when my son told me that they weren't going to be doing Christmas songs, even though the other grades were... why you ask? Well, because there are so many bad kids always disrupting the class so they didn't have time to learn everything they were supposed to. WTF? That's F'ing ridiculous if you ask me!!!! The teachers need to grow a pair and take care of these kids... kick them out of the class!!! When I was in school, Band was... well... full of band nerds. lol no offense to any band nerds out there! But they really pushed band last year, EVERY kid had a meeting with the band teachers to see what instrument they would be best for ect. I was putting him in band before they did all that... I guess that made other kids that normally wouldn't do it, go ahead and do it. Maybe thinking it would be an easy class??? I don't know, but this is the largest band class they have ever had- and I hope they don't wonder why! To me it doesn't matter, kick the little trouble makers out of band so the ones that WANT to be there can learn! Damnit!

Count to 10...

Ok :) I'm back.
Back to the concert. It ended up really nice :) I enjoyed myself, and I could tell my son did also. My Mom and Step Dad came too, so that was nice. Here is a little fun piece they did. It was cute lol.

He's in the middle, the kid that looks like he could be my son lol. 

After we got home, I had a very little piece of this crazy "s'mores pizza." Not long after, I started getting pains in my stomach. They really hurt! I don't know if they were from that weird s'mores thing, or what. All I know is, I am soo glad that it waited until AFTER I got home. Without being too graphic, I spent a lot of time on the toilet... 

This morning wasn't any better. By the time I went and picked up Ray, I felt a lot better though. He wanted a frappe from McDonald's, so we stopped on the way home... and I ended up with 2 egg McMuffins also... I know, great nourishment for sick people right? Bleh... it sure was good though! But that's the last time I will have fast food for a while. I just feel so guilty over spending the money! Ray is getting so many more hours since it's the holidays, so bigger checks, and it's hard for me to say no when he wants to spend it on... shit. He worked for it... but we have IMPORTANT stuff to spend it on... anyway, even if he does get fast food, that doesn't mean I have to. And I am not going to!!!

I forgot to weigh in this morning before I ate. So AFTER I had 2 egg McMuffins, some water and a whole LARGE Frappe, I weighed almost a pound less than yesterday. I wonder what I weighed before I ate! But I know that it's only because I was probably severely dehydrated from my stomach thing, and not drinking enough water lately! But mostly the sick stomach.

I'm getting in my water today though. It's not hard because I am actually thirsty today!

Ray's birthday is Tomorrow. The big 30 :) We're having family over Friday for dinner and cake and everything. Probably some drinking, we'll see. None for me if my stomach still feels like this.. and Ray is actually comming down with something different than mine. Him and the boy have soar throats and aren't feeling great :(

So anyway, I have to get this house cleaned. We got the tree up and decorated, but I have to get the rest of the Christmas stuff put out too. Even though I feel a little weak, I feel good other than that. AND I've rested up. I went to bed at 10 last night! So even though I wasn't feeling well, I got a lot of sleep, about 8 hours total. So I am awake, and now just have to pry myself away from the computer! And get at it!!! And keep drinking coffee!!!!

Because...

At least that's what my paper towel says!!! :)

And paper towel never lies!!!

"Will you pee for me?"

That's the question my Aunt asked me one day.
I was 10 or 11 years old. She had called my Mom, who then sent me over to her house. I walked over, and went in. We visited for only a few minutes and she asked "Will you pee for me?" I laughed. And said "yeah." This is something my Grandma would always say too, when she had to use the bathroom but didn't want to get up.
But my Aunt said "No really, I need you to pee in this cup for me."
And that's all I remember. I knew it was because she needed clean pee for a job, but did she tell me that??? I don't remember. I knew it was because she smoked weed... but I doubt she told me that... Maybe I just assumed that was it, since I knew my Mom did??? I remember thinking how dark my pee looked, and wondering if that was normal! Since I had never seen it out of the toilet before (remember, I was a kid) but that's all I remember...

Over the years, I have heard that question quite a bit since that day. From family, mostly my mom. Mostly for jobs, but once for my cousin who had to pee for child protective services... (I now have a lot of guilt over that one, but that's a story for another time...) That's just what happens when everyone you know is on drugs except you. I didn't mind at the time, I kind of thought it was funny.
Of course NOW, I have conflicting emotions about it. First I wonder- how did they all know I wasn't on drugs anyway? What if I was on crack, or even just smoked some weed, and didn't want to tell??? And just peed for them anyway? You know how stupid kids can be... that is definitely something that could have happened!!! But most of all- Being a parent now, I just can NOT picture asking my son to do that for me. OR letting my brothers ask him. And have to explain why? Umm... No.
But I grew up a lot different then he is... Which is good :)

Why this little trip down memory lane you ask?

WELL, today reminded me of that first day that I was deemed the designated family clean pee-er.
Ray's brother called today, and asked him to pee for him! Unlike me, Ray had NEVER in his life been asked this favor. On one hand, I could think of it as depressing... that after all these years, no one in either of our families can pee for themselves...
BUT I am looking at it in a positive way. When he got off the phone and told me what his brother wanted, we both smiled like 'wow can you believe it!?!?!'

So today he peed for his brother for the first time... and since his brothers can't stay off drugs, and can't keep the same job for long, I'm sure it won't be the last!
As for Ray? He was never addicted to hard drugs or anything, hasn't touched ANYTHING like that since he's lived with me. But he's been a pot head since he was about 14. He smoked it DAILY for at least the last 10 years.

But today marks his 114th day- weed free.
His brothers test came back, and he is officially, CLEAN :)
I am so proud of him :)

Now to get our food addictions under control...

What I ate Today:
Lunch: 348
Tuna Sandwich on whole wheat with 1 tbs miracle whip, pepper jack cheese, jalapenos. 6 baby carrots with 1 tbs light ranch. water
Iced Coffee: 105
large glass with 3 tbs hazelnut liquid creamer
Snack: 165
2 pieces (1/2) WFC Almond Chocolate bar
Dinner: 675?
2 cups macaroni&cheese + hot dogs, 1/2 cup leftover green bean/corn mixture, water
Snack: 165
2 pieces (1/2) WFC Almond Chocolate bar
Snack: 140
1/2 cup cottage cheese and 1/4 cup fruit cocktail. Water
Total Water: 30 oz
Total Calories: 1598
Macaroni and hot dogs is my son's favorite meal, but I hardly EVER make it for him anymore. I'm going to guess 3 times since February? I don't like hot dogs like I used to, but I do like these Hebrew National all beef, all natural ones ok. 150 calories each.
Those dang candy bars! Ray called his nephew over and bought more of them! I told myself only 2 pieces a day won't hurt, but I already messed that up. But tomorrow I'll have my last 2 pieces.
It's not great, but I think I'm doing a little better everyday...

Last night pizza was avoided. Ray said he was ordering some after our son was in bed, after we had already eaten dinner! I told him "go ahead, but I'm not having any!" and I wouldn't have either. I was determined not to. He must have known it, because he didn't get any.
Today we took a nap, and he wanted up at 11am. Because he wanted to go eat at Florentine's... I told him I didn't want to, I have to weigh in tomorrow. But it sounded like he really was planning on it... when the alarm went off, and he didn't hear it... I didn't wake him up! lol, it felt very sneaky, but I REALLY didn't want to go. I know I would do BAD if I went to a buffet today.
So when he did get up, he was going to order pizza! He asked what bills where due before he gets paid again, I told him. And that we really can't afford to be spending money on fast food... So he actually got a little pissy about it! I acted like I didn't know, and asked him what was wrong after a while... he let it go and all was well... but that shows me that he is just as addicted to fast food as I am... I think even more... I just always go along with it (eagerly), until now.
I'm sure I'll be faced with it again soon, and I can't say how I'll handle it... but I feel good about how I did today and last night. One day at a time...

BUT If he can kick his other habit, I know we can get through our food addiction. :)

I am still feeling pretty good... even the weekend task of putting up Christmas crap isn't overwhelming me... so that's a good sign.
I will see you tomorrow for my weekly weigh in, I hope it's good! I'm still weighing in daily at my Weight Loss Tracker, so I feel good about it :)

Well, I hope you enjoyed today's post and my little trip down Dysfunctional Family Avenue lol. I hope someone tells me they are also a designated pee-er so I don't feel so alone!!!! Ha! A girl can hope can't she? Don't worry, I know this shit isn't normal... but what can I do but laugh? It's better to laugh than cry right? :)

Have a great night everyone :) See you tomorrow!

Just This Weeks Food and Exercise

OOPS. THIS IS THE SAME ONE I POSTED THE OTHER DAY. WHILE I WAS ADDING TO IT, I SOMEHOW SAVED IT AS A DRAFT INSTEAD OF POSTING... SORRY!

Even if I have nothing to say, or depressed and don't want to write... I think it is very important that I keep track of what I'm eating. So I'm going to keep track of it on this post. I figure that way only when I do a new(real) post, it will show up on the blog rolls... and I'll just update this everyday to show my food and exercise (or lack of). I figure this will get me back on track, without doing a separate post JUST to show what I've eaten every time.
Not that I'm depressed right now! I'm ok :)
We'll see how it works out, I might just do this every week after weigh in.
Since I already had Friday's on that last post of what I was eating, we'll start with yesterday...

Saturday-
Breakfast: 1280
McDonald's- 2 egg McMuffins, 1 large mocha frappe
Snack: 90
Mocha Bliss Special K bar
Dinner: 1375 (estimated)
Salad with ham, light ranch, croutons, mozz cheese. Ordered Florentines- 3 slices pepperoni pizza (one with jalapenos), 2 bread sticks with sauce, 4 oz coke
Total Water: 22 oz
Total Calories: 2635
Fast food... not good. 3 slices? Unacceptable. I would have been ok with 2. I would feel awesome if it was ONE. Didn't eat the crust on 2 1/2 of those slices. The nutrition info is not online, so I used a similar place. Ate salad first so I would eat less, didn't work as you can see! My fault, gotta get back some self control! Not enough water. Got to get back to at least 40 oz per day.
Now with my new plan, and recording what I eat no matter what- I'm sure I'll have less days like this one!!!

Sunday-
Coffee: 70
with 2 tbs pumpkin spice liquid creamer
Lunch: about 460
2 waffles, 1/4 cup syrup and 2 fried eggs, 1 cup ff skim milk
Snack: 80
String cheese stick (mozz)
Snack: 165
1/2 'World's Finest Chocolate' bar
Dinner: about 545
Stuffed Squash (1/2 acorn squash filled with stuffing) with about 1/2 tbs Country Crock, 1 slice whole wheat bread with CC, 1 cup ff skim milk
Snack: 82
1/4 Chocolate bar
Snack: 240
Cereal- 1 cup Special K Vanilla Almond, 1/2 cup rice squares, 1 cup ff skim milk
Snack: 82
1/4 chocolate bar (the last of it)
Snack 1am: 300
1 cup special k with ff skim milk, 1 slice cinnamon raisin bread
Total Water: 42 oz
Total Calories: 2024
The 'about's are because I don't have the box for the waffles, but I estimated them to be 100 each. Also, step Dad made the stuffed squash, but I looked up the squash, stuffing and sausage and hopefully that is close to the right amount. The candy bar I bought when Ray's nephew came to the door selling them for school... I know, I could have just got Ray the kid one, but I got me one too. It was for a good cause! lol :) I know... that's no excuse! Anyway, mine is gone now.
Crunches: 100 (5 sets of 20)

Monday-
Breakfast: 250
Coffee with 2 tbs pumpkin spice creamer, 1 1/2 slices of cinnamon raisin toast with CC
Lunch: 460
Tuna Sandwich on whole wheat with 1 tbs (store brand) miracle whip, cheddar/pepper jack cheese, jalapenos. 5 baby carrots, 1/2 tbs light ranch. 1 pickle spear (1/4 pickle?) water
Snack: 300
Cereal- 2 cups Special K Vanilla Almond with ff skim milk
Dinner: 1090Romain salad with jalapenos, croutons, cheddar, 1 1/2 tbs light ranch. Pizza Hut- 2 slices medium (14") pepperoni, 1 slice medium pepperoni jalapeno, 1 1/2 bread stick with sauce. Water
Snack 2am: 250
piece of cold pizza
Total Water: 36 oz
Total Calories: 2350
I JUST got done writing that I could go one week without fast food... I told Ray this morning that I had made that commitment. Then I fell asleep around 4, woke up at 7 and still had to make dinner... Ray asked what I wanted from Pizza Hut and I told him "I don't care." Instead of saying "NOTHING!!!" But no excuses, no blame. It was my fault and honestly, just laziness! Even after it got here I kept telling myself, JUST ONE... but no self control... UGH. Now I have let myself down AGAIN, and all of you :(
I WISH I had the motivation or the excitement I did in the beginning... I don't. But I am sick of letting myself down, and feeling like crap. I will try and do better tomorrow... I WILL do better tomorrow.

Tuesday-
Snack: 90
Mocha Bliss Special K bar
Lunch: 500
2 slices left over pizza
Snack: 200
Cereal- 1 cup Special K Vanilla Almond w ff skim milk
Dinner: 535
About 4 oz BBQ chicken, 3/4 cup green beans + corn (with salt, pepper and a little bit of ranch seasoning), 1 cup ff skim milk
Snack: 350
Cereal- 1 1/2 cups Crunchy Granola Raisin Bran with ff skim milk
Total Water: 27 oz
Total Calories: 1675
Better calorie wise... but still not the best choices. As I ate that raisin bran, I thought 'Wow, this is GOOD. Must be a lot of calories.' Then when I looked, I was still surprised! 190 per cup, maybe I'll just let the kid have the rest of that...

Wednesday-
Coffee: 140
A little extra coffee, with 4 tbs pumpkin creamer
Breakfast: 140
1 slice whole wheat toast with honey peanut butter
Snack: 80
1/2 cup cottage cheese with a little pepper, water
Lunch: 1150
Arby's $2 toasted subs- Classic Italian and Turkey Club, water
Iced Coffee: 105
Coffee, ice, 3 tbs hazelnut liquid creamer
Dinner: 280
2 cups of Sweet and Sour Chicken (Green Giant frozen meal bag. Frozen veggies, pineapple, sweet&sour sauce. Add my own chicken) 1 cup, then 1 hour later another cup. Water
Snack: 165
2 pieces (1/2) World's Finest Chocolate Almond bar
Total Water: 36 oz
Total Calories: 2060
I really shouldn't have had Arby's at all. But having 2 instead of 1 :( It's because you have to get 2 for $4... but that is NO excuse. Next time Ray is just going to have to eat 1.. or 3! His choice! (I don't plan on there being a next time soon... but you know how that goes with me) I know it was a bad choice. I know I have to do better. I am going to try to do well for the rest of the day and keep those calories under 2000.
I went over by 60 calories, not bad... but if I would have only had ONE sub, that would have saved over 500! Grrr... I know it was stupid. SO stupid. I don't know what gets into me! And you want to know what else??? Ray wants to order pizza! We ALREADY ATE DINNER! I'm trying to talk him out of it, but if he really does... I'm not having any. I promise myself that, and you. It will be SO HARD, and the FIRST TIME EVER I am going to refuse pizza... but I will. Because I am dedicated to getting back on track. I need to get back to losing. I already messed up once today, I'm not going to do it again. I'm fine with 2060 calories, especially with all the exercise I got doing laundry. (Wet laundry is heavy! Had to wash it all, then bring 4 loads to the laundromat)
NO PIZZA TONIGHT, NO MATTER WHAT.
And tomorrow will be better :)

I Faked It :)

One thing about posting everything the next morning, is I am getting very forgetful. It makes for a shorter post, so maybe you all are happy about it lol :)
WELL, I remembered stuff, so this is a long one haha!

I completely forgot to tell you about how well I did "Faking It!" When my brother helped me at the laundromat yesterday, he tried his best to force me to go to Burger King with him, as it was right across the street. Do you know how long it's been since I had Burger King? I would have to check, but my guess is about 3 months. He said "You want some Burger King?" I immediately thought of this post from Margie M. "No." I said, which was a lie. I wanted a whopper! He said "You don't like whoppers?" I said "Yeah, but no, I don't need any." He may have thought it was because of money, and he says "They have lots of stuff on that dollar menu." NO thanks I tell him. "Why? Have you eaten yet? What are you going to eat?" He demanded. A sandwich or something when I get home... "Are you sure?" haha, he would not give up! "Yeah I'm sure. I'm trying to stay away from the fast food." SO he finally gave up. He said "Oh, well that's good I guess." haha, which means "Awesome Tina! But now I have to go pig out by myself." haha, I know that's what he meant :)
We even joked about it when we got home. Ray was here and my brother told him how he tried to force me to eat it and gave me the 3rd degree. I said "Yeah, he pretty much shined a flashlight in my face and demanded to know why, and what I would be eating. He tried to drag me out the door..." LOL :)
So yeah, I was proud of myself.
If I hadn't just read that post I think I would have given in and had it! Seriously!!! Thank you Margie M!!!

That was Monday.

Here's what I ate yesterday (Tuesday):
Coffee: 61
Breakfast: 470
1 waffle with Lite Syrup, 1 egg, 1 sausage patty
Lunch: 573
1 1/2 cups left over tuna helper with 3/4 cup peas, 1 cup ff skim milk
Dinner: 410
1 cup rice, 1 cup stir fried veggies (w soy sauce), 1 slice lightly buttered whole wheat toast, 1 cup ff skim milk
Snack: 269
.7 oz almonds, 1.1 oz honey roasted almonds
Snack: 160
1/2 cup cookies and cream ice cream
Total Water: 44 oz
Total Calories: 1943
I did well for breakfast, that story goes a lot like the one with my brother. Ray made breakfast, all I wanted was a waffle and a sausage patty. Then he says he's making eggs even though I didn't want any, I gave in and told him ONE. Then he goes to put in 2 waffles, and I said "I only want ONE." But he did 2 anyway. He gets it done, and made me TWO eggs also. Then he made his toast. I took ONE of everything, and stuck to the plan. SOOOO he ended up with 3 eggs, 1 waffle, 2 pieces of toast and a sausage patty. LOL, maybe now he'll listen to me next time!
I was busy all day, and didn't have any snacks. By dinner I was starving. I over ate, and was full when I was done. Not stuffed, but full.
Later I got the munchies and decided on almonds. I still wanted ice cream, and had some. Only 1/2 cup though. Then I wanted chips! So... I went to bed :)
I am proud of myself but also know there are a few places I could have cut calories here. For sure.

Treadmill: 31 minutes/ 1.15 mile, Incline 1. (Over a mile Woo Hoo!) A Biggest Looser Walk
Days in a Row: 4

I was sure this morning would be a gain, since I snacked late last night. Also because of all the sodium in soy sauce. BUT I'm at 279 :) One more pound to go to hit my goal Friday. I'm also weighing myself earlier than my Friday weigh ins, just so I don't forget I do it as SOON as I get up. So I am confident I will be at 278 Friday :) Woo Hoo!

The car isn't fixed, they worked on it 3 or 4 hours and it didn't work :( They are going to try again today... I'm not sure what will be different, and when I asked I still wasn't sure! The friend is a mechanic, so I figure he knows what he is doing. But I'm not getting my hopes up. I started getting stressed last night, but feel good now. (walking???)
Just keeping that serenity prayer in mind. There's nothing I can do about the car, so I'll concentrate on the things I CAN do. And concentrate on the good :)

Oh!!! Picked up the cookie dough... yes. I said COOKIE DOUGH. I am going to have to be very careful! I feel fine though :) I have my goal in mind and it will keep me on track....
till Friday! Bwah ha ha!!! ... just kidding :) It will be a little harder after Friday, but weighing in every day will hopefully help keep me on track and not eat half the cookies! (AND the other half of raw cookie dough LOL)

Ray just said he is making breakfast again, I'll be good. No matter if he listens or not! :)
Have a great day!

One of those Days...

I am having a really hard time staying positive today...
I do feel better now after reading your comments :) Right now is the best I've felt all day actually.
I woke up with a horrible head ache, and it just went away about 1/2 hour ago. I'm very tired though and am going to try to get to bed before 1:30... I'll have to catch up on blogs in the morning, which may be my new plan anyway... to check blogs in the morning and get to bed earlier (we'll see what happens lol)
Made the kid go to bed at 11:30, he wasn't happy about that... but school starts next week and we have to get ready. I'm starting to really stress about that. He's been pretty moody and I'm wondering if It's becaue he's nervous about middle school. Have to make sure my worries don't show, and stay positive!!!!

My eating was pretty bad :( I know, I said I would do well this week and so far I have just been getting worse everyday!
Iced coffee: w 2 tsp hazelnut coffeemate, 1 1/2 tsp sugar, 1/3 cup milk, 4 ice cubes
Lunch: Hungry Howies- less than 1/2 turkey club sub, 3 small slices pizza, 3 small cheese sticks, Water
Snack: 1 Pear
Dinner: Romaine and Spinach Salad (w hot pepper rings, 1 1/2 tbs light ranch, croutons, shredded cheese) 1 cheese stick, Water
Snack: 2 bowls sugary cereal
Total Water: 42oz
No excuses. I did horrible. On top of the lunch, I am full. I hate feeling full now :(
I need to get to the grocery store, I know Ray's Mom will take me. Maybe tomorrow... Still, there were plenty of other options in the house. I tried to do well the rest of the day since lunch was so bad... then ruined it with cereal. You know I love cereal and am not going to stop eating it at this point, but NO WAY did I need 2 bowls. I am now full and feel like crap.

That Iced coffee is the best I've had yet, had a little more coffee then usual in it too. I'm not going to add milk everyday though. It came to 110 calories, I'm going to try to bring that number back down some. I'll just have it like that once in a while ;)

A good thing about today, I did get on the treadmill. I really didn't want to... but how could I ruin my streak? I would have to start all over! I can't do that!!!! Not to mention those of you who cheer for me as that number goes up!!!! That's the main reason I can't stop doing it :)
Treadmill: 15 minutes/ .50 mile
Total Days in a Row: 21

Today sucked. I know it, you know it.
I really want to wake up positive, and have a great day tomorrow :) I can do it! I hope you all have a good night, and also have a great day tomorrow!

Mon/Tues/Wed

I haven't posted since we went to the zoo (see last post for pics). I've been so tired ever since!!!

My eating hasn't been that great. I was happy with Monday, we went out for lunch but that was expected.
What I ate Monday:
Breakfast: (180) Protein Meal Bar (Fit & Active- Chocolate Peanut Butter)
Lunch: Abacus Chinese Buffet- ONLY ONE PLATE- 1/2 cup Mongolian beef, 1/3 cup broccoli chicken, 1/2 cup veg/egg fried rice, about 6 little battered chicken w sesame sauce, 1 egg role, 3 crab cheese and sweet and sour sauce, tiny bit of a chicken wing, sushi type thing, water. Dessert: 3 little... balls, 1 little fried... thing :)
Snack: (10?) freeze pop
Dinner: 1 1/2 cup soup with 1 slice buttered whole wheat bread
Snack: (23) 1 werther's
Total Water: at least 40 oz
I was happy with this day. It's the best I've ever done at our favorite Chinese restaurant :) One plate! Go Me!!!
Was VERY tired, went to bed early and got the most sleep I've gotten since... I don't  remember when!

Tuesday:
Snack: (100) 1/2 bottle iced coffee
Lunch: (400) Tuna sandwich (tuna, light ranch, 1/8 cup mozz on white bread), 8 baby carrots with 1 tbs ranch, water
Snack: (10?) freeze pop
Snack: (100) 1/2 bottle iced coffee
Dinner: (1140) Papa Murphy's- 5 medium slices of pizza *wince* 2 chicken garlic, 2 DeLITE bbq chicken, 1 pepperoni, water.
Snack: (110) vanilla pudding cup
Snack: (70) 3 Werther's throughout the day
Snack Late night: (50?) about 25 grapes
Total Water: 60 oz
Total Calories: 1980
The total Calories didn't come out as bad as I thought, but I made a pig of myself for dinner. The medium pieces are pretty small, but still. No excuse for eating that much!
I had to go to the laundry mat. It really wasn't that bad, only took 32 minutes to dry what would have taken forever at home. Costed $3. I was tired when I was done though and gave into the pizza, still no excuse I know.
Was exhausted. Had to fight to stay up past 8pm, went to bed at 9. BUT got back up at 11:30, couldn't go back to sleep. Tried again at 1:30 and laid awake till Ray's alarm went off at 3am. Controlled myself when I got up in the night, but was pretty hungry by then...

What I ate today:
Breakfast @ 3am: (300) chex/ honey bunches of oats cereal with skim milk
Snack: (200) 1 bottle of iced coffee
Snack: (23) 1 Werther's
Lunch: (360) 2 slices of leftover bbq DeLITE pizza, water
Snack: (160) Ice cream Sandwich
Dinner: (700?) Ordered Out- 2 large slices of taco pizza, about 8 fries and ketchup, water
Snack: (160) Ice cream sandwich
Snack: (200) 1 bottle iced coffee.
LATE NIGHT Snack: (300?) 1 more slice of pizza
LATE NIGHT Snack: (150)? pop tart (I had to come back and add these late night snacks, they were at about 2am and 2:30am. AND change my calorie total)
Total Water: 48 oz (so far)
Total Calories: 2553

Whew! Glad that's over! It's true, once I started ordering take out, it's like I couldn't stop!!! Tonight was the last night, I do NOT WANT to order anymore. I know it is unrealistic for me to say never again, but I am really going to try to go a long time before it happens again...

Even though my eating has been bad, my mood is good. Usually when I'm eating like that, it's because of a lot of stress or depression. I guess all the same things are still stressing me out, but I don't really care as much right now. I feel good. Going to the zoo and even the laundry mat, got me out of the house and that's good for me.
Tomorrow I have to go to the store. HAVE TO. I'm out of fruit, and about everything else (the junk you see is stuff I quick pick up at the easy store) I already have my list! Tomorrow for sure!!! No more ordering in!
OH! The one thing I can say for myself, I still haven't had any pop :) I'll have to go back and see how long it's been. I think a week! Woo Hooo!!!!

Oh my goodness. I spoke to soon about my good mood. My mother just called. Ugh... I'm not going to let her ruin my mood though. See you tomorrow!

Feeling so... blah

I felt so great on weigh day, so motivated. Now I feel pretty crappy to be honest. All Yesterday and today have just been hard for me. It is my time of the month now... maybe that's it. I really don't know. It seems I've been struggling a lot these last couple weeks with my mood... the whole dryer situation might have a lot to do with it too...

Tonight we ordered out. I KNOW- it's bad :( BUT I did make it the whole week for Tessa, a week and a day in fact! It wasn't planned, I just felt so crappy and never did make it to the store. I plan on going at least another week now though. So wish me luck!

Tomorrow will be a better day. It is going to be a little more bearable, at 82 degrees, so we have decided to go to the zoo. We like to go right when they open so we can spend as much time petting the sting rays as we want since it's not packed yet :) Also, it won't be to hot out yet either. It upsets me terrible that I won't have a camera, you have no idea!!!! I LOVE to take pictures, and going to the zoo without being able to take any is just horrible for me!!! I am going to really concentrate on having a good time and not thinking 'that would be a great picture' every 2 minutes... stupid cameras... grumble grumble...

What I ate today:
Drink: (67) 1/3 iced coffee
Breakfast: (615) 2 eggs on 1 bagel (one per half) with cheese, 8 oz orange juice
Snack: (23) Werther's
Drink: (200) 9.5 oz iced coffee
Lunch: (390) 1 serving hash, water
Snack: (23) Werther's
Dinner: (650?) 1 taco, chips and cheese deluxe, 8 french fries, 1 tbs ketchup, water
Snack: (110) vanilla pudding
Snack: (23) Werther's
Total Water: 55 oz
Total Calories: about 2101 (1451 + Dinner?)
Total mess I know. Tomorrow after the zoo we will probably go out for lunch, but I will try to be good. Even though I desperately need to go to the store, I DO have grapes. So I have no excuse for snacking badly.

Between yesterday and today I have done a lot of house work, and a lot of hanging of clothes all around the house that I'm not used to lol. Tomorrow LOTS of walking. So hopefully it will make up for today's horrible eating...
I have to get back on the treadmill. I KNOW I felt so much better when I was doing it everyday. For those 2 months, I was no where near as moody. I KNOW what I have to do... it's just doing it! Hopefully all the walking at the zoo will be the start I need...

Crunches: 100 (5 sets of 20)
Going to bed early tonight. I am pretty tired so that's good! See you tomorrow. I hope you have a wonderful day! I know I AM going to, Dammit!!!! lol  :)

Hi. My name is Tina... and I'm a fast food addict.

 My fiance and I are both addicted to fast food. We very rarely go out to eat as a family, because we know we can't afford it. Yet we order in way more then we should. Or stop at a drive through on impulse. See, we don't plan and go out, or plan to order food... but in the moment when we want fast food we just do it! It is really ridiculous, because we can't afford it and I know it's bad for us. I guess that's what addiction is right? You do it because you want it at that moment and you don't care about the consequences. It taste so good, and your having a good time, Not to mention how convenient it is!!!
So today as we were leaving he grabbed some Burger King coupons and after the store, that's where we went.
Let me explain what I would have gotten BEFORE January 1st- the coupons are for "buy a value meal and get a sandwich free" So we get a whopper meal and a whopper free, AND a chicken sandwich meal and chicken sandwich free. So I would usually have a chicken sandwich, a whopper, a medium order of fries, ketchup, and a pop. When we went to burger king, this was what we always did. BUT not today, Same coupons- different ME... I had the free whopper, and 2 french fries. I took a bite of one of his double stackers but that's it! Since I ruined the normal plan he had the whole whopper meal, and a buy one get one double stackers. he wanted me to eat one of the double stackers, but I refused. I joked with him that he is going to get really fat, because he is eating all the stuff I normally would have. (He also ate the rest of that pizza yesterday since i didn't eat anymore of it, and our son had one piece)

Now, even though I joked about it, and I am proud of the improvement I have made... It doesn't change the fact that I shouldn't have had it at all. I mean, of course I am going to have burger king once in a while, but I shouldn't have today :(  I had a late breakfast and wasn't hungry!!! And I had been so exited about being right at 300, and now I am afraid I ruined that. Then I went and had dessert that I wasn't even hungry for!!! :(  I really don't know what got into me... I will try and take it out on the treadmill and hope for the best on the scale tomorrow...

Here's My Day:
Breakfast: about 1 1/2 cups of Wheaties with about 3/4 cup of 2% milk, 1/8 tsp sugar.
Lunch: 1 Whopper, 2 fries, 1 bite of a double stacker, Water
Dessert: small chocolate chip muffin
Snack: Spinach salad with 1/4 cup of mozzarella cheese, 2 tbs light Italian dressing, about 10 croutons, 5 baby carrots
Dinner: Stouffer's Tuna noodle casserole. 1 cup of 2% milk
Total Water Today: 46 oz

Treadmill: 1 Hour (1.9 miles)
Crunches: 100 (50, 25, 25)

Well, I am feeling so much better. I didn't want to get on the treadmill at all, but I decided to get on it and do a little walking during Survivor... and I did a whole hour!!! Wooo Hooo!!! I was sweating and my muscles hurt now, but I am very happy. I just got out of the shower and I feel great.
I look back at today, and while it is FAR from perfect... it isn't as bad as I thought it was... but the fact that I ate all that without even being hungry is really bad... I have to make sure I don't fall into old habits.

This blog will keep me honest, with anyone who is reading, and with myself. That will help me make the changes I need to make... and I will make more mistakes, even worse ones I'm sure!!! I'm hoping that the more I change and the longer I stick with it... the fewer mistakes I will make!