Thursday, December 2, 2010

"Will you pee for me?"

That's the question my Aunt asked me one day.
I was 10 or 11 years old. She had called my Mom, who then sent me over to her house. I walked over, and went in. We visited for only a few minutes and she asked "Will you pee for me?" I laughed. And said "yeah." This is something my Grandma would always say too, when she had to use the bathroom but didn't want to get up.
But my Aunt said "No really, I need you to pee in this cup for me."
And that's all I remember. I knew it was because she needed clean pee for a job, but did she tell me that??? I don't remember. I knew it was because she smoked weed... but I doubt she told me that... Maybe I just assumed that was it, since I knew my Mom did??? I remember thinking how dark my pee looked, and wondering if that was normal! Since I had never seen it out of the toilet before (remember, I was a kid) but that's all I remember...

Over the years, I have heard that question quite a bit since that day. From family, mostly my mom. Mostly for jobs, but once for my cousin who had to pee for child protective services... (I now have a lot of guilt over that one, but that's a story for another time...) That's just what happens when everyone you know is on drugs except you. I didn't mind at the time, I kind of thought it was funny.
Of course NOW, I have conflicting emotions about it. First I wonder- how did they all know I wasn't on drugs anyway? What if I was on crack, or even just smoked some weed, and didn't want to tell??? And just peed for them anyway? You know how stupid kids can be... that is definitely something that could have happened!!! But most of all- Being a parent now, I just can NOT picture asking my son to do that for me. OR letting my brothers ask him. And have to explain why? Umm... No.
But I grew up a lot different then he is... Which is good :)

Why this little trip down memory lane you ask?

WELL, today reminded me of that first day that I was deemed the designated family clean pee-er.
Ray's brother called today, and asked him to pee for him! Unlike me, Ray had NEVER in his life been asked this favor. On one hand, I could think of it as depressing... that after all these years, no one in either of our families can pee for themselves...
BUT I am looking at it in a positive way. When he got off the phone and told me what his brother wanted, we both smiled like 'wow can you believe it!?!?!'

So today he peed for his brother for the first time... and since his brothers can't stay off drugs, and can't keep the same job for long, I'm sure it won't be the last!
As for Ray? He was never addicted to hard drugs or anything, hasn't touched ANYTHING like that since he's lived with me. But he's been a pot head since he was about 14. He smoked it DAILY for at least the last 10 years.

But today marks his 114th day- weed free.
His brothers test came back, and he is officially, CLEAN :)
I am so proud of him :)

Now to get our food addictions under control...

What I ate Today:
Lunch: 348
Tuna Sandwich on whole wheat with 1 tbs miracle whip, pepper jack cheese, jalapenos. 6 baby carrots with 1 tbs light ranch. water
Iced Coffee: 105
large glass with 3 tbs hazelnut liquid creamer
Snack: 165
2 pieces (1/2) WFC Almond Chocolate bar
Dinner: 675?
2 cups macaroni&cheese + hot dogs, 1/2 cup leftover green bean/corn mixture, water
Snack: 165
2 pieces (1/2) WFC Almond Chocolate bar
Snack: 140
1/2 cup cottage cheese and 1/4 cup fruit cocktail. Water
Total Water: 30 oz
Total Calories: 1598
Macaroni and hot dogs is my son's favorite meal, but I hardly EVER make it for him anymore. I'm going to guess 3 times since February? I don't like hot dogs like I used to, but I do like these Hebrew National all beef, all natural ones ok. 150 calories each.
Those dang candy bars! Ray called his nephew over and bought more of them! I told myself only 2 pieces a day won't hurt, but I already messed that up. But tomorrow I'll have my last 2 pieces.
It's not great, but I think I'm doing a little better everyday...

Last night pizza was avoided. Ray said he was ordering some after our son was in bed, after we had already eaten dinner! I told him "go ahead, but I'm not having any!" and I wouldn't have either. I was determined not to. He must have known it, because he didn't get any.
Today we took a nap, and he wanted up at 11am. Because he wanted to go eat at Florentine's... I told him I didn't want to, I have to weigh in tomorrow. But it sounded like he really was planning on it... when the alarm went off, and he didn't hear it... I didn't wake him up! lol, it felt very sneaky, but I REALLY didn't want to go. I know I would do BAD if I went to a buffet today.
So when he did get up, he was going to order pizza! He asked what bills where due before he gets paid again, I told him. And that we really can't afford to be spending money on fast food... So he actually got a little pissy about it! I acted like I didn't know, and asked him what was wrong after a while... he let it go and all was well... but that shows me that he is just as addicted to fast food as I am... I think even more... I just always go along with it (eagerly), until now.
I'm sure I'll be faced with it again soon, and I can't say how I'll handle it... but I feel good about how I did today and last night. One day at a time...

BUT If he can kick his other habit, I know we can get through our food addiction. :)

I am still feeling pretty good... even the weekend task of putting up Christmas crap isn't overwhelming me... so that's a good sign.
I will see you tomorrow for my weekly weigh in, I hope it's good! I'm still weighing in daily at my Weight Loss Tracker, so I feel good about it :)

Well, I hope you enjoyed today's post and my little trip down Dysfunctional Family Avenue lol. I hope someone tells me they are also a designated pee-er so I don't feel so alone!!!! Ha! A girl can hope can't she? Don't worry, I know this shit isn't normal... but what can I do but laugh? It's better to laugh than cry right? :)

Have a great night everyone :) See you tomorrow!

6 comments:

  1. If your pee is dark, you're dehydrated. drink more water! lol

    I would never do that for anyone. Should be illegal, shouldn't it? Just think some responible person who really is clean might not get that job while some dopehead cheats and gets it. kinda sad!

    I wish you hadn't said "macaroni and hotdogs" yum!

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  2. Sounds like you did a really good job resisting the temptation of fast food today and yesterday....that's really awesome...I must have channeled some of your will power when I got out of work cause hubby really wanted me to pick up sandwiches on the way home and I told him that I was making dinner....so...despite the dirty dishes in the sink....I am glad that you sent some of that willpower my way...
    Hope that your weekend goes well...can't wait to see your weigh in tomorrow..hugs!

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  3. My pee is a lot clearer now then back then lol, but I HAVE been slacking with the water... gotta drink more! Thanks Lanie!

    Illegal? Never thought about it, I'm sure it is.
    I don't loose sleep over it, (except the one time for CPS. I won't do that again) They are crappy jobs, and while I WISH my family would just get clean- I want them to be able to work if possible. So do the tax payers right? As long as they don't go to work high, pot is not going to effect how they do the job... I don't know what all Ray's brother is on :(
    But "Clean" doesn't mean you're "responsible." They could hire a clean person, who is an asshole and treats customers like crap... or who uses the money for even more irresponsible things. Or they could hire a clean person that is an alcoholic and that would be perfectly legal...
    Serial Killers are usually "clean."
    I guess it's all how you look at it... views on weed would be a whole new post wouldn't it lol :)
    All that being said: I'm sure if I loose a job to a pothead, I'll be totally on your side!!! lol :)

    You like macaroni and hot dogs! I can't wait to tell Ray that someone else does. He thinks it's disgusting... he's just crazy!

    Thanks for your comment Lanie!
    Oh, and the serial killer thing? I TOTALLY made that up. Sorry :) I'm guessing they usually are- but I have NO evidence to back that up... just that they seem too smart and dedicated to be potheads!
    oh don't mind me... it's late. maybe I should wait till morning to respond to comments? :)

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  4. I hate to say that dirty dishes are one of the "pros" towards fast food for me!
    I only hope I can do as well next time I'm faced with it!
    Oh, and I bet your hubby didn't whine about it did he? Ah the things I put up with... lol :)
    I am up to late, and really hungry... but now that I read that- I really want to have a great weigh in, so I'm going to go to bed now and NOT eat!
    See you tomorrow!
    Hugsss!!!

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  5. Food addiction is by far the hardest because we have to continue eating to stay alive. I quit smoking cigarettes, weed, cocaine, and a bunch of other crap much easier than any diet. It's frustrating isn't it?

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  6. If you would have asked me 5 years ago, I would have said food isn't even a real addiction... but now I know it is. I believe it is SO hard, since you are faced with it everyday, all day.
    Wow Barb, that is a lot to overcome!!! You should be so proud of yourself, you are awesome :)

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