New Year's Eve... last weigh in of 2010!

This will be short, but not sweet :)
My brothers will be here soon, going to be a night in with a little drinking, playing video games, (if I get buzzed enough, I'll be playing guitar hero lol) maybe some dominoes or cards. We'll see!

It is 55 degrees here right now. In Michigan, on New Years Eve, at 10:11pm!!! That is just... crazy. NO snow on the ground... this has been the mildest winter EVER... at least that I can remember!

The main reason I've been away is my eating hasn't been great. I guess it was that end of the year thing I do... knowing that I'll be "starting over" on the first, so I can be bad if I want??? Which is SO STUPID and only hurts ME. The funny thing, last year I didn't have that. I was SO exited to loose weight, and just knew I was going to be able to do it! And I did!!! Until I didn't anymore...

So let's get this last weigh in over with shall we?
The scale says...

287
That's a 2.4 poud
gain from last week.
It makes my total lost:
33 pounds lost for the year

About half of what I unofficially wanted to loose...

As you know I had lost 42 pounds at my best point... and I REALLY didn't want to have to report a year end number less than that!

But it's ok. It is what it is. No sense in the "if onlys" or "I should have" I just have to make sure I do what needs to be done this year! AND STICK WITH IT!

So all is well here :) Not sure about any new resolutions... Just to rededicate myself!

Well, you know what? I do have a goal... I want to lose twice what I did this year :) That would be 66 pounds, and a total loss of 99 pounds. How awesome would that be???

Alright. Bro number 1 is here, got my 1st glass half gone. It looks like there is going to be a major disc golf tournament in the living room... via the PS3 MOVE of course :) Better go watch! Yes I know... I'm a party animal hehe :)

Here's to 2011 being the best year ever! Woo Hoo!

Have a great night!!!! Safe and Happy wishes to you all!!!!

And thanks for sticking by me through 2010, even though sometimes it seemed there were more downs than ups! I appreciate all who supported me, more that you could ever know! 2011 will be better :) I can feel it!!! Or is that the alcohol I feel??? :)

HUGS!!!

Merry Christmas!!!

I'm pretty tired, and am going to bed now.
I had a great day and I hope you all did too!

It's my first Christmas as a blogger,
and I have to say,
I thought of a lot of you today.

And really hope today was wonderful for you :)

Just wanted to say Merry Christmas!
And no matter what you believe, or where you are...
My only hope is that you feel peace... and that you know you are loved.

That's what matters isn't it? ♥

I'll be back tomorrow (or tonight if I can't sleep!)
For now:
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a GREAT night!

It's Christmas Eve! (and weigh day)

First let me thank Auntie Mandy for joining us here in My Day! Thank you and Happy Holidays!

And... Merry Christmas Eve Everybody!!!!

Today was also time for my weekly weigh in.

And the scale said...

284.6

That is .2 pound loss this week,

and make my Total Lost: 35.4 pounds.

Still almost 7 pounds away from being in the green... but it's a loss. And sadly enough, a loss 2 weeks in a row is scarce for me these days. Soooo, I've decided to just be happy with it. I may not end the year in the green, and I have accepted that. I have made a LOT of mistakes, but it will do me no good to beat myself up about it. All I can do is my best, and that will have to do. A loss the week before Christmas? I'm happy with it, even it it's only .2 pound :) I will do my best to make it a loss again next week and be happy with what ever number it is! And while it may not end in the "green" I will still end the year with a Total loss! Over 35 pounds less than this time last year! It may be slower than I expected... but 35 pounds is 35 pounds :)

I did get candy yesterday... and it didn't go well! I had way to much of it. Today I did a lot better. I had a few kisses and Hershey miniatures, but nothing like years past. Or yesterday. I am dividing the candy between Ray and my son's stockings, AND making little bags for My Mom, Stepdad, and 3 brothers. So there won't be much left for me. Oh, I'm sure I'll have some, but not 10 pieces at a time!

Me and my son are going to decorate cookies now, the last ones are due out of the oven in 7 minutes 50 seconds :) I'll take some pictures and show you tomorrow! Like on Thanksgiving, most of them will be left at my Mom's.

I am definitely in the Christmas mood :) I'm not letting anything bother me, and am exited for Christmas :)

Have a Merry Christmas Eve! Tomorrow have a wonderful day, and be safe!

*I did NOT take that picture. It is from WEBSHOTS

All Caught Up!

A quick thank you to ~Layla~, for joining me in my day!

Also, go and visit the review blog by Happy Fun Pants HERE for your last chance to win $150! All you have to do is comment, I think it's until the 28th... If you remember, that's how I won $150 and could afford my camera on Black Friday, and external hard drive I needed :) It's the biggest prize I've ever won in my life!!! It was awesome, so go! Good luck!

I just got all caught up on blogs... it must have taken me 2 hours lol. I took a break in between! Even if I don't write, I really am going to come read at least once per day. I miss out on so much good stuff when I'm gone!!! (and bad stuff... that I could have tried to be supportive about)

I have been writing down everything I eat, but since it hasn't been good, I dreaded writing it here... so I put it off, and now it's almost a week later! How did that even happen? I look at it though, and it's really not a bad as I thought. I had pizza one day, but only 2 slices! I did have a sandwich last night, I stayed up all night and got hungry... and a turkey sandwich was what I really wanted... so I had it. 220 calories... in the middle of the night. The worst thing though, was chips. I bought a bag of multigrain onion chips (Aldi's brand Sunchips) and snacked on them like crazy. Over 2 days, I ate almost the whole bag by myself! Not good, and my body felt like CRAP. Water was doing pretty well, until yesterday and today. I HAVE to get my water in! I really feel it when I don't :(
With the season and having so much trouble keeping up with blogworld, I'm going to give myself a break. I'm not going to worry about recording everything I eat until January first. Actually, I will still write it down (I'm afraid if I stop I won't start again!) but not record it here. Maybe just the highlights :)

A good thing? Besides candy canes, I have resisted Christmas candy in the house. The usual chocolates are not in a dish on the table. Tomorrow I will be buying some though, for the kids stocking... but I will do my best not to go overboard! Not buy BAGS of candy and snack on it all by myself at night like previous years! It's almost Christmas... so all month, without the candy? I'm already ahead :)

I haven't weighed myself since Friday either... so I have NO IDEA...

I've been pretty busy, but after I was done being sick, I have been doing pretty well. Not stressed out too bad. Just remembering that Serenity Prayer!

I am so thankful, we have money to buy presents this year. We always manage, but this year I really wasn't sure... but with Ray's extra hours, christmas money from my Dad, and some luck, we did pretty good! I think my son may have a little less presents than most years, but he has plenty. And I know he'll be happy :) Tomorrow we have to get a few more things (for 2 of my brothers and Mom and Step Dad) and we'll be done shopping :) I'm very thankful. It's going to be a great Christmas :)

I already made sure that my brother understands I expect it to be family friendly over there when my son is around. So no weed, and I'm very relieved that he handled it fine and that I don't have to worry about it.
My Mom actually said how nice it was to have us over for Thanksgiving, and that maybe we could come over more often since it went well with the "no weed" rule... So she actually noticed we hadn't been there in 4 months... I said "Yeah, you make sure everything is put away and everyone understands that we're comming over so NO weed. Then call me." I also told her "It really sucks we have to make an appointment to come over, but whatever..." She said "ok, sounds good." She doesn't get how ridiculous it all is. It makes me sick.... BUT no more of that. I'm in a good mood remember? :) It won't happen anyway. She will NOT make the effort, I already know that... In fact, she was just over at her cousins yesterday and didn't even stop here (she lives 2 minutes down the street) I only know she was there because my son saw them when he was walking home from school and figured they had been here... she pretends she can't come visit here because she can't visit ANYWHERE... but I know she goes over there all the time. WHY you ask? Well because her cousin will get her high for free of course! So OF COURSE she can go over there and visit! But not visit her grandson.... oops... I've got to stay in a good mood, so enough of that!
We'll just go on holidays. I'm fine with that. I pretty much have no family to go visit anymore... but whatever. I can't deal with the stress, it's just not worth it to me. (We'll go into how weird my Stepmom is acting, and how I don't feel welcome there now either- just not today) I don't care... I'm fine being a hermit lol... but I really worry about my son :(
Enough of that!

It will be a great Christmas. As long as I'm not thinking of all this, and just enjoying my family's company, all will be well :)

I will really try and post more often now. I miss posting everyday... having that routine!

I'll leave you with a picture of VanGogh, our youngest. (But not the smallest!)

He can't wait for Christmas either!!!! 

Friday Weigh In

Hello. First let me say a quick thank you to Pic Soso, thank you for joining us here at My Day!

Second, it's weigh in time. And the scale says...

284.8

That's a loss of 1.4 pounds this week,

Making my Total Lost: 35.2 pounds

I'm always glad to have a loss... but it just needs to be MORE. Especially with how sick I was earlier this week. I was down to 280, and I really thought it would be a bigger loss this week. BUT I'm feeling better now, and my appetite is back- with a vengeance!
So I have 6.8 pounds left to loose JUST to be in the green again. I WILL loose this by New Year. So that's 3.4 pounds to loose each of the 2 weeks that are left this year. That is a pretty big number for me to loose as you can see by the chart over to the right... but I REALLY want to end the year on a good note... a GREEN NOTE!!!! :) 

I have been feeling better, now I just have a cold. I never thought I would be so happy to just have a cold lol... but man, it's SOOO much better than whatever I did have!

Here's what I ate today:

Coffee: 40

2 tsp coffeemate, 1 tsp sugar. Didn't finish the cup though

Lunch: 1030

1 chicken sandwich, medium? eggnog shake

Snack: 80

1 cup ff skim milk

Dinner: 490

3/4 cup taco soup with tortilla chips (about 15) and cheddar cheese. 1 cup ff skim milk

Snack: 240

3 candy cane (oreo type) cookies, 1 cup ff skim milk
Snack: 160
Simply Cinnamon Corn Flakes with a bout 1/2 cup milk (cats got the rest)
Total Water: about 5 oz :( SO FAR
Total Calories: 2040
Holy Crap! Do you know how many calories are in a Burger King Original Chicken Sandwich? 630! I am blown away by that! I actually thought I did ok for lunch... even though it was buy one get one free, I only got one. Now I see that it wasn't that great... AND I asked for a small shake... I haven't had a shake (or anything) from there in a looong time, but this didn't look like a small. I think it was a medium. Of course I didn't have to drink it all... but I did... I joked with Ray and said I would be using the calories from a small because that's what I ordered!!!! But I didn't, I can not tell a lie lol. And this was no small.

Well, I'm going to have to do a lot better than that if I am going to loose 3.4 pounds each week for the next 2... If only I had NO appetite like those few days when I was sick, things would be so much easier! No matter :) I will just have to control myself! It seems like EVERY Friday after weigh in, whether I do good or bad, I end up eating a lot. So if this is my mess up day, it's not THAT bad. Now I just have to get my ass in gear and really work hard for the next 2 weeks! I'll just keep telling myself, "It's only 2 weeks." That's not entirely true, because this will continue forever... but just don't let my brain know that! lol :)

I MUST record what I eat everyday.
I also have to get back to drinking at least 40 oz of water every day. Today was the worst with water in a while. We finished up christmas shopping for the kid :) So we were gone a while, and my whole day was kind of thrown off... but I'll get a glass right now and try and get some in before bed.

I went to bed last night at 9:30, 9:30 people!!!!! I'm really trying to get to bed at a decent time every night. Since I was sick, I've been doing an ok job with that. It's hard on the weekends, but I'm really going to try and keep at it.

Ok, Gonna watch some tv, NOT eat, drink some water, and get to bed. I'll see you tomorrow, even it it's only to record my food! Recording my food everyday is mandatory!
Good night everyone! Sweet Dreams! :)

The Flu Sucks...

It is good for weight loss though isn't it?
Well, I'm not even sure if it's the flu... Ray said it probably is because of how my whole body was aching and how bad I felt... but I have no idea. Flu, stomach virus, something that SUCKS.

Let's back up a little bit :)
Last time I was here, I had felt kind of sick a day before, but felt all better. I was drinking coffee like crazy and working my butt off cleaning the house. Even so, a day later I gained a pound for Friday's weigh in, so the scale said...

286.2

a 1 pound gain :(

NO treadmill, or Crunches
Total Loss: 33.8 pounds

We had pizza (2 pieces for me) Friday for lunch, and I had iced coffee all day.

I made Ray's favorite Cheezy Chicken for dinner for his Bday :) I only make it once a year for him lol. But I wasn't really hungry, and when I did eat it... I didn't really taste it, and ate pretty slow and not much. (any other year I would have had at least 2 giant helpings, this year one small) I was proud, and couldn't wait to write that here! I wasn't thinking about feeling sick or anything, I had been fine for 2 days.

Well, I had planned on drinking and everything Friday night... but I only got 1 shot. I started feeling really funny. Then around 10:30 I got those pains in my stomach... I got up to the bathroom... and began my night of vomiting. :(

I came back down, but I really felt like crap. I couldn't even wait for one of my brothers to come in from smoking, and one hadn't even gotten there yet. But I had to go to bed. I spent the rest of the night either dead asleep or puking my guts out... not just your average puke either, the kind where you BETTER be sitting on the toilet... yeah you know what I'm talking about lol. (It's funny now, but at the time not so much...) I lost count after 7 times, but I woke up for this spewing of bodily fluids a LOT. (I'm just so thankful it was in enough time to get to the bathroom every time!!!)

To show you just how much... That weight of 286.2 Friday morning? By Saturday morning it was 281. That's 5.2 pounds in one night, even though I ate cheezy chicken and pizza that day... so yeah. And Sunday morning, down another pound. So the Flu is good for weight loss I guess...

I am feeling better today. My stomach still feels kind of bad after I eat something, but I'm keeping it down. I'm back up to 282.5 which is still about 4 pounds down from Friday's weigh in.

Being sick sucks. I can't remember the last time I was that sick, and I hope I'm not again for a LONG time.

I'm still feeling really tired and weak, but SO much better. I've been sleeping a lot. If I didn't have to bring the boy to school, I'd probably never leave my bed...

Been going to bed at about 10, so that's good. Tonight it will be more like 11, but it's still better than it was! And I'm going to try and keep it that way.

No fast food, I don't even want it. I hope that feeling stays even after my stomach is back to normal!

Ray got it too :( Not as bad as mine, he only threw up once, but still. He had to call in Monday, and came home early this morning. He has to go in tonight, I hope he feels all better :( I feel really bad, nice birthday present huh???

OH, and now neither one of us can even stomach the THOUGHT of his favorite food, Cheezy Chicken! That is just crazy... but being so sick may have ruined it for me, forever!!!

I haven't been on the computer AT ALL, that's how bad I was feeling. I hope to get back to a more normal blogging schedule, but even before this I wasn't doing it everyday. So I won't promise EVERY day, but I'll really try and do more. I need to record what I eat, otherwise I'll probably go back to eating too much. And Nothing will keep me away from Friday weigh in (except the flu lol) :)

My eating has been ok, only because of being so sick. So I've been eating a lot less. But when I do eat, I can't say it's the best choices, I haven't had the energy to prepare me anything good... so it was what ever was quick and would stay down. (cereal, ice cream, freeze pops are some examples) Last night I did make some Orange chicken and broccoli. It was pretty good, and even though I didn't eat much, I still felt like I over ate. Tonight it was broccoli tuna helper. It was good, and I only ate about 3/4 cup. I'm going to be careful and only eat a little at a time. Even though being sick really sucks, I should take advantage of the weight loss and the stomach shrinkage right?

Definitely trying to be positive about it lol. Now I don't have as far to go to be back in the green :)

I hope everyone else has been doing a lot better than me!!!!!

I planned on reading and catching up, but now I feel sooo tired :(

I'm going to bed. But I'll be back tomorrow to at least read!!! Goodnight! 

Must... Have... COFFEE!

Hey everybody :)

Let's get the last few days out of the way shall we?
Since Friday, I have been getting little sleep. I have been snacking way to much. And have been feeling very guilty over spending money on fast food. I have been ok, just a little stressed, but not really depressed or anything. Just a lot of little things all together weighing down on me...
I did write down what I ate... but didn't record it here. Which was a HUGE mistake, and I already know better! The minute I decide I'm not writing it here, I start eating worse...
It didn't get to bad, no complete binging... but a lot of snacking, and giving in to things I just didn't need... things I didn't even really want! Like chips and cheese, a sandwich in the middle of the night... Other than that the food was pretty normal for me, no over eating really, just EXTRA snacking. Mostly to much snacking at night when I'm up till 4 in the morning. The low point? Ray and I actually got Taco Bell at 1:30am Sunday Morning (Sat. night). That is SO BAD, to actually leave the house to go get it too? An old habit I hoped to never see again!

BUT all that is over. Except the fast food problem... But that will be over soon I hope...
Back to normal, and back to recording it!

Yesterday was a busy day. I didn't eat much, but we did have pizza for dinner. We had a quick dinner, I had 2 peices and it was my lunch and dinner.

Then off to my son's first band concert!
I know it makes no sense, but doing anything like that really stresses me out. So that too was weighing on me all week... but once I was there of course I was fine.
I was a little annoyed when my son told me that they weren't going to be doing Christmas songs, even though the other grades were... why you ask? Well, because there are so many bad kids always disrupting the class so they didn't have time to learn everything they were supposed to. WTF? That's F'ing ridiculous if you ask me!!!! The teachers need to grow a pair and take care of these kids... kick them out of the class!!! When I was in school, Band was... well... full of band nerds. lol no offense to any band nerds out there! But they really pushed band last year, EVERY kid had a meeting with the band teachers to see what instrument they would be best for ect. I was putting him in band before they did all that... I guess that made other kids that normally wouldn't do it, go ahead and do it. Maybe thinking it would be an easy class??? I don't know, but this is the largest band class they have ever had- and I hope they don't wonder why! To me it doesn't matter, kick the little trouble makers out of band so the ones that WANT to be there can learn! Damnit!

Count to 10...

Ok :) I'm back.
Back to the concert. It ended up really nice :) I enjoyed myself, and I could tell my son did also. My Mom and Step Dad came too, so that was nice. Here is a little fun piece they did. It was cute lol.

He's in the middle, the kid that looks like he could be my son lol. 

After we got home, I had a very little piece of this crazy "s'mores pizza." Not long after, I started getting pains in my stomach. They really hurt! I don't know if they were from that weird s'mores thing, or what. All I know is, I am soo glad that it waited until AFTER I got home. Without being too graphic, I spent a lot of time on the toilet... 

This morning wasn't any better. By the time I went and picked up Ray, I felt a lot better though. He wanted a frappe from McDonald's, so we stopped on the way home... and I ended up with 2 egg McMuffins also... I know, great nourishment for sick people right? Bleh... it sure was good though! But that's the last time I will have fast food for a while. I just feel so guilty over spending the money! Ray is getting so many more hours since it's the holidays, so bigger checks, and it's hard for me to say no when he wants to spend it on... shit. He worked for it... but we have IMPORTANT stuff to spend it on... anyway, even if he does get fast food, that doesn't mean I have to. And I am not going to!!!

I forgot to weigh in this morning before I ate. So AFTER I had 2 egg McMuffins, some water and a whole LARGE Frappe, I weighed almost a pound less than yesterday. I wonder what I weighed before I ate! But I know that it's only because I was probably severely dehydrated from my stomach thing, and not drinking enough water lately! But mostly the sick stomach.

I'm getting in my water today though. It's not hard because I am actually thirsty today!

Ray's birthday is Tomorrow. The big 30 :) We're having family over Friday for dinner and cake and everything. Probably some drinking, we'll see. None for me if my stomach still feels like this.. and Ray is actually comming down with something different than mine. Him and the boy have soar throats and aren't feeling great :(

So anyway, I have to get this house cleaned. We got the tree up and decorated, but I have to get the rest of the Christmas stuff put out too. Even though I feel a little weak, I feel good other than that. AND I've rested up. I went to bed at 10 last night! So even though I wasn't feeling well, I got a lot of sleep, about 8 hours total. So I am awake, and now just have to pry myself away from the computer! And get at it!!! And keep drinking coffee!!!!

Because...

At least that's what my paper towel says!!! :)

And paper towel never lies!!!

It's Time for Weigh In Friday!

And the scale says...

That is a loss of 3.4 pounds this week

Making my Total Lost: 34.8 Pounds

My Totals for the week:

Treadmill: 0 :(

Crunches: 100

The way I ate? And NO treadmill? I know, it's crazy. Even though it started off bad, I was feeling better and better, and like I was improving each day :)

3.4 pounds this week, that's one of my largest weekly losses... and of course I am VERY happy about it :) But I can't really celebrate until I get back in the 'green.' I'm still loosing JUST to get back to where I was. I think 42 pounds lost was my best number...

So while I'm always happy about a loss, I can not wait to actually be loosing NEW weight again... you know what I mean? I sure don't want to end the year saying "lost 42 pounds, but gained back 'this much'"

So I HAVE to get back in the green before new years. Only 7.2 pounds left, I can do that before new year! 

What I ate Today-

Lunch: 376

Tuna on whole wheat with 1 tbs miracle whip, about 1/8 cup cheddar, jalapenos. 7 baby carrots with 1 tbs light ranch. Water

Iced Coffee: 105

Large glass with 3 tbs pumpkin spice creamer

Dinner: 1050 ?

2 slices of pepperoni, extra cheese pizza. 2 bread sticks with sauce. 6 oz sprite

Late snack 1am: 300 ?

1 slice pizza (smaller than the others)

Snack LATE: 23

Werther's

Snack 3am: 90

Mocha Bliss Special K bar

Total Water: 37 oz

Total Calories: 1944

WELL, I know it doesn't look great. I know I shouldn't have pizza, especially since I was so proud of resisting temptation last time! BUT, I had 2 slices for dinner. NOT 5, and not my new normal, 3. But 2. I am very proud of that. It was hard for me, I really wanted another piece... but I didn't have it.

EATING PIZZA

I actually ate my pizza with a fork!!! WITH A FORK! It took a lot longer and did help me control myself... I think helped me feel full by the time I was done also.

When I eat pizza, especially good messy pizza, I eat it pretty fast. You know, once you get a good hold on it, you don't want to put it down to mess that up right? And you take big bites, as not to slop on yourself lol... now HOW am I supposed to take my time, and limit myself, eating like THAT. It's not possible. So I grabbed a fork :) and I am going to do that from now on! When I was to the end, I picked it up but sat it down after EVERY BITE. All of this was very deliberate, but after a while it will just become habit and I won't even have to think about it right? We'll see :)

I am ok with my calories today, but staying up late is really hurting me. I wouldn't have had that other slice if I was in bed!!! I have ALWAYS been one to stay up really late, but when I was doing my best loosing weight... that was also when I was finally on a good schedule. I was going to bed at 9:30 or 10 at one point! I know I can't do that right now, but I need to slowly work to it. I HAVE to get on schedule.

Have a great day everybody!

"Will you pee for me?"

That's the question my Aunt asked me one day.
I was 10 or 11 years old. She had called my Mom, who then sent me over to her house. I walked over, and went in. We visited for only a few minutes and she asked "Will you pee for me?" I laughed. And said "yeah." This is something my Grandma would always say too, when she had to use the bathroom but didn't want to get up.
But my Aunt said "No really, I need you to pee in this cup for me."
And that's all I remember. I knew it was because she needed clean pee for a job, but did she tell me that??? I don't remember. I knew it was because she smoked weed... but I doubt she told me that... Maybe I just assumed that was it, since I knew my Mom did??? I remember thinking how dark my pee looked, and wondering if that was normal! Since I had never seen it out of the toilet before (remember, I was a kid) but that's all I remember...

Over the years, I have heard that question quite a bit since that day. From family, mostly my mom. Mostly for jobs, but once for my cousin who had to pee for child protective services... (I now have a lot of guilt over that one, but that's a story for another time...) That's just what happens when everyone you know is on drugs except you. I didn't mind at the time, I kind of thought it was funny.
Of course NOW, I have conflicting emotions about it. First I wonder- how did they all know I wasn't on drugs anyway? What if I was on crack, or even just smoked some weed, and didn't want to tell??? And just peed for them anyway? You know how stupid kids can be... that is definitely something that could have happened!!! But most of all- Being a parent now, I just can NOT picture asking my son to do that for me. OR letting my brothers ask him. And have to explain why? Umm... No.
But I grew up a lot different then he is... Which is good :)

Why this little trip down memory lane you ask?

WELL, today reminded me of that first day that I was deemed the designated family clean pee-er.
Ray's brother called today, and asked him to pee for him! Unlike me, Ray had NEVER in his life been asked this favor. On one hand, I could think of it as depressing... that after all these years, no one in either of our families can pee for themselves...
BUT I am looking at it in a positive way. When he got off the phone and told me what his brother wanted, we both smiled like 'wow can you believe it!?!?!'

So today he peed for his brother for the first time... and since his brothers can't stay off drugs, and can't keep the same job for long, I'm sure it won't be the last!
As for Ray? He was never addicted to hard drugs or anything, hasn't touched ANYTHING like that since he's lived with me. But he's been a pot head since he was about 14. He smoked it DAILY for at least the last 10 years.

But today marks his 114th day- weed free.
His brothers test came back, and he is officially, CLEAN :)
I am so proud of him :)

Now to get our food addictions under control...

What I ate Today:
Lunch: 348
Tuna Sandwich on whole wheat with 1 tbs miracle whip, pepper jack cheese, jalapenos. 6 baby carrots with 1 tbs light ranch. water
Iced Coffee: 105
large glass with 3 tbs hazelnut liquid creamer
Snack: 165
2 pieces (1/2) WFC Almond Chocolate bar
Dinner: 675?
2 cups macaroni&cheese + hot dogs, 1/2 cup leftover green bean/corn mixture, water
Snack: 165
2 pieces (1/2) WFC Almond Chocolate bar
Snack: 140
1/2 cup cottage cheese and 1/4 cup fruit cocktail. Water
Total Water: 30 oz
Total Calories: 1598
Macaroni and hot dogs is my son's favorite meal, but I hardly EVER make it for him anymore. I'm going to guess 3 times since February? I don't like hot dogs like I used to, but I do like these Hebrew National all beef, all natural ones ok. 150 calories each.
Those dang candy bars! Ray called his nephew over and bought more of them! I told myself only 2 pieces a day won't hurt, but I already messed that up. But tomorrow I'll have my last 2 pieces.
It's not great, but I think I'm doing a little better everyday...

Last night pizza was avoided. Ray said he was ordering some after our son was in bed, after we had already eaten dinner! I told him "go ahead, but I'm not having any!" and I wouldn't have either. I was determined not to. He must have known it, because he didn't get any.
Today we took a nap, and he wanted up at 11am. Because he wanted to go eat at Florentine's... I told him I didn't want to, I have to weigh in tomorrow. But it sounded like he really was planning on it... when the alarm went off, and he didn't hear it... I didn't wake him up! lol, it felt very sneaky, but I REALLY didn't want to go. I know I would do BAD if I went to a buffet today.
So when he did get up, he was going to order pizza! He asked what bills where due before he gets paid again, I told him. And that we really can't afford to be spending money on fast food... So he actually got a little pissy about it! I acted like I didn't know, and asked him what was wrong after a while... he let it go and all was well... but that shows me that he is just as addicted to fast food as I am... I think even more... I just always go along with it (eagerly), until now.
I'm sure I'll be faced with it again soon, and I can't say how I'll handle it... but I feel good about how I did today and last night. One day at a time...

BUT If he can kick his other habit, I know we can get through our food addiction. :)

I am still feeling pretty good... even the weekend task of putting up Christmas crap isn't overwhelming me... so that's a good sign.
I will see you tomorrow for my weekly weigh in, I hope it's good! I'm still weighing in daily at my Weight Loss Tracker, so I feel good about it :)

Well, I hope you enjoyed today's post and my little trip down Dysfunctional Family Avenue lol. I hope someone tells me they are also a designated pee-er so I don't feel so alone!!!! Ha! A girl can hope can't she? Don't worry, I know this shit isn't normal... but what can I do but laugh? It's better to laugh than cry right? :)

Have a great night everyone :) See you tomorrow!

What I AM Ready For...

Is to get back on track!

I don't know what it is, but I feel great today!
Honestly, don't ask me why... nothing has changed. Oh, except waking up to snow and freezing- but that did NOT put me in a good mood anyway!
In fact, I should feel worse...
I was having some second thoughts this morning. Wishing I would have used the money to see about getting the dryer fixed, instead of getting my camera and the hard drive... Especially since I was dreading going to the laundromat in the snow!!! I had even decided I was just going to go back to bed after dropping the kid at school, like I have been doing... I felt like crap this morning, like usual. Was thinking about the bills, and about every other depressing thing that has me down...
But... now I feel better.
SO much better.

Maybe being able to take those pictures

of the snow when I felt like it, helped?

Here's another one lol:

(My hair is just up,

I didn't cut it... yet!)

Maybe staying up, and not going back to bed? Maybe having my coffee and reading blogs/ playing on facebook? Maybe because I caught up on sleep the last couple days? (I was in bed at 10 last night!!!)
I don't know. But I feel Great!
I am washing my laundry now, and I don't feel overwhelmed by going to the laundromat, it's just something I have to do, and might as well get it over with! WHY can't I think like that all the time??? I do most of the time, but not these past weeks... Everything has just seemed SO OVERWHELMING...
But not now.
I feel like I can get back on track, and get back to LOSING, and say goodbye to gaining! I feel like I can get back on some kind of schedule, which I know is very important to my weight loss.
Ray has tonight off, that means I can actually get a good chunk of uninterrupted sleep! Woo Hoo! :)
Like I said, I don't know why I feel so much better.. I just hope it lasts!!!!
Have a Great Day everyone! 

But I'm not Ready!

This is what I woke up to today:

I know... this being Michigan,

I should just be glad it waited SO long!!!

But... I'm just not ready for snow...

I actually love snow,

just not on the roads or sidewalks!

Miya looking at the white stuff

As I took this picture

2 Canadian Geese flew by, honking like crazy...

They're not ready either!

Are you ready?

(Some of already have had it for sometime!)

I do really like having a camera

that works!!!

:)