Sunday, November 14, 2010

A Day to Remember

One thing that happened while I was away, was on Halloween. I had my family over, and it was nice. My brother weighed himself on my scale, and was 279. He thinks that is a lot (which it is) but has NO IDEA I weighed that much too! I was at the same weight as him on that day. Now I am more, but that's not the point lol. The point is, someday after I loose a LOT of weight, I will tell him that "back on Halloween 2010, when you weighed yourself and was 279? I was 279 too!!!" Hopefully that will be soon, like maybe Halloween of next year I could tell him that??? :)

I plan on doing my post in the mornings again. That was working well and getting me to bed earlier. These last 2 weeks have been so off, and my sleep has been horrible. Now that I have my car back (I am so thankful for) I am bringing Ray to work again at 3:45am. Oh how I loved to get a nice chunk of sleep in with no interruptions... I have to get used to this all over again now lol. Maybe lack of sleep was contributing to my horrible depression. Well... there is no maybe about it, I know it didn't help anything!!! I HAVE to get back on some kind of schedule! I am going to try and get to bed at a decent time tonight!

Yesterday when I woke up to bring Ray, I felt really sick. I was afraid I was going to throw up. When I got back later that was gone but I had a head ache all day. ALL day. I didn't do the treadmill, but I am allowed 2 days off. I don't plan on taking them, but I'm ok with it if I do... I didn't write down what I ate for the second half of the day till now.
Today I feel so much better, just a slight headache. So hopefully I won't get sick like I was afraid of!

Breakfast: 110
Slice on cinnamon raisin toast with 1/2 tbs Country Crock
Lunch: 515
Tuna Sandwich on whole wheat, 1 1/2 tbs miracle whip(well, store brand), 1/4 cup cheddar, jalapenos. some veggie chips, 5 baby carrots, 1 tbs light ranch. water
Snack: 245
Cereal- 1 1/2 cup frosted wheat puffs with 1 cup ff skim milk
Iced Coffee: 140
with 4 tbs hazelnut creamer
Dinner: 910
2 servings of General Tso's Chicken (Frozen) and 1 egg role. 1 cup ff skim milk
Snack: 185
bowl of Veggie chips with a little cheddar
Snack: 280
2 slices of cinnamon raisin toast- 1 with cc, one with cc and honey peanut butter
Total Water: 36 oz
Total Calories: 2385

Can you believe I thought I did ok until I just wrote and added it all up??? Obviously I was wrong. Even without the amount of calories, I over ate and snacked WAY to much.

I'm not beating myself up though, I'm down another 1.2 pounds this morning... I guess that shows just HOW bad my eating was the last 2 weeks! But more important, I feel great. I mean GREAT.

I had a long night, and this morning had one of those dreams that goes on forever... It started with someone shooting me through my bedroom window. I was so scared, I was pretending to be dead so he wouldn't shoot me again. I got up and my clothing was so bloody. I was terrified. But Ray didn't care. AT ALL.  It was in my side, and it wasn't going to kill me... I go down stairs and my Mom and brothers are here, they didn't care either! I'm walking around all bloody and I ask "Shouldn't we call 911?" and eventually I did, but no one was worried or cared. they actually were annoyed that I was making such a big deal out of being SHOT.
Anyway, the dream lasted hours I think.
I woke up when Ray came in at about 11 to wake me. (I didn't hear him get up or anything! Which is weird!) I was exhausted from the dream, and mad at Ray because he hadn't cared about me. But he cuddled with me a little bit, I tell him I love him and thank him for being so patient with me this last week and dealing with my mood swings. Of course he says "you don't' have to thank me." I got up and followed him downstairs. My son is pretending to sleep on the couch lol. I go to the kitchen and Ray has almost all the dishes done!!! I love him so much. He can't realize how happy that made me, how much that helped. Now I feel like I can do the other things that need to be done, get this house back in order...

So now I feel great. I'm having my coffee, and will get on the treadmill and take a shower (which I desperately need!) and will feel even better. It's a LATE start to the day, but no matter. Tomorrow I'll get back on schedule, and get back to keeping the house up (which I was doing so good with before Halloween!) and all will be well :)

Now that I wrote that... I am a little worried at how happy I am! Does that sound insane or what? But I know that this is what happened 2 weeks ago... I was on top of the world, and then it all came crashing down. This would be what my Mom would call her 'manic' phase... I just have to make sure I pace myself, and don't try and take on the whole world I guess! And not let it come crashing down again... I really do feel so good though, that I don't think that will happen. :)


  1. So weird - I have been having weird, scary dreams too. I had one last night where everyone wanted to kiss me, even the women. One guy went as far as to get naked in front of me and our girls [stop laughing! I was terrified - lol] and Pooldad kept protecting me. And there were a lot of shoes and the beach in the dream. See - told you it was weird.

    I am glad that Ray is there for you - he is wonderful.

    I wish you a great rest of the day a fantastic week, my friend, my friend.

    Love you!

  2. That is a weird dream! I find that I have strange dreams when I'm really tired.

    Don't worry about being happy. There's nothing wrong with it and I think you deserve it :)

  3. Nice to see you back...I was starting to miss your posts!

    I just updated my picture, and I think it's time for you to update yours, too. :-)

  4. Dreams are so weird right??? Haha, they say you don't even remember half the dreams have... I wonder what kind of craziness we are dreaming that we don't even remember!!!
    Thanks Skippy! Hugs :)

    Aw thanks Mark :) I feel even better now, not such a... High happiness, but a normal happy... if that makes any sense! I think I'm on my way back up! (or down I should say!)

    Babe! When I read the post with that picture I was thinking you should update your pic with it!!! I'm glad you did, you are gawjus dahling, simply gawjus!!! :)
    I wish I could update my pic... that last one from August 12 is actually lower than my weight is now :( BUT no matter, I will update it when I meet my 50 pound goal by New Years!!! :)
    I'm actually very bored with my hair... so maybe I'll update it when I die it or ... CUT it??? ;)