WELL, I feel bad for saying I don't care what happens to her. I still feel I will be fine no matter what happens, but I also know that I do care. I hope she recovers well. I guess I'm still angry about everything that has happened, and I was feeling that yesterday.
She is still at the hospital, I guess she got pretty sick today. I don't know what all drugs she is on, but that may be why. I do know that she is on morphine and feeling no pain.
My Mom called her and she said she sounded ok. Until the end she said "I really don't like this." My Mom said "What, being in the hospital?" Grandmother replied, "All of it. I don't like any of this..." and then she told my Mom, "Things will get better." Mom thinks she means the whole family situation. Maybe she does, but I don't see how it could get better...
I said yesterday that I hope my sons card makes her feel like shit... I feel bad about saying that now.
My Great Aunt did go see her, but she didn't let me know if she gave her the card. Maybe she did? And maybe it made her think about things? I don't know.
I still don't want anything to do with her, but if somehow things could get better and my Mom could have her mother back... that would be great. But with everything that's happened I just don't see how that is possible. Sherry will always be there, and I doubt she will ever have anything to do with Mom (he sister) even though my mother did NOTHING to her. (I know there is 3 sides to every story, but I'm serious. NOTHING) Sherry is delusional, among other things. But most of all she is SPOILED and SELFISH. That's pretty much the reasons behind everything.
Anyway. I just wanted to make sure you know I don't wish her any ill will... But I'm not going to loose any sleep over this. I'll let you know how everything turns out.
morning after
6 hours ago
Hugs to you....I hope that you are doing okay....Something made me think of you today...don't remember what it was but figured when people pop into my head like that I send a few positive thoughts there way...just thought that you'd like to know that I sent positive vibes out to you....
ReplyDeleteThank you colenic. I must be feeling them :)Even with that situation, Today was one of the best days I've had in a long time. I really am ok :) HUGS
ReplyDeleteI hope you can find time to go back and read through my older blogposts. So many about my family and the lack of compassion and support throughout difficult times. But I have to say that staying mad and hating them is far worse for your own health/heart than to just put it behind you and chalk it up to that's just the way they are. I will never forget what they did to me but I can't dwell on it for my own inner peace. Huge Hugs.
ReplyDeleteThank you Barb, I know you speak the truth on this! I really didn't know I still had this much hurt/hate left... But you are right. It is time to let go, and of course I'll never forget- but I have to move on.
ReplyDeleteIt is hard, since my Mom still talks to her, and they live literally 4 minutes away... but somehow I've avoided her for this long, so I just have to stop thinking about it!
At the moment I feel good about the whole thing. Like I've let go and it just doesn't matter.
Hopefully that feeling lasts!
Hugs!