I feel good... But tonight I realized my behavior and eating is how it gets when I am depressed... It is 1am and I am just starting my blog, not even sure if I'll go to bed... I can't stop snacking on everything... I buy stuff in the store that I know I shouldn't bring into the house because I will eat it all!!! These are all things I do when I get depressed... but I'm not depressed! Really, I feel fine!
If I were to sit and think about it, of course there is SO much to be depressed about right now... but that doesn't do me any good. I am glad that I don't feel depressed at all... So why am I acting like I am??? I hope I'm not about to go off the deep end soon or something!!!
Well, as far as I know, I am perfectly fine right now and will stay that way. I have to get my eating under control or I will gain all my weight back, then I would be depressed for sure! Today was bad... AGAIN. The only good news is that I got in all my water. Also, all the cookies are gone. (those might have been the best chocolate chip cookies I have ever had!) and I am throwing out the macaroni salad.
Here's what I ate today:
Lunch: chili dog, 8 tortilla chips with cheese and chili, 3/4 cup macaroni salad, water
Snack: 3/4 bottle of iced coffee, 1 chocolate chip cookie
Dinner: chimichanga and 10 tortilla chips with cheese and salsa, Romain salad with 2 tbs light ranch and cheddar cheese, water
Snack: 1/2 cup crab salad with 2 1/2 large crackers, water
Snack: 1/4 bottle of iced coffee with 1 chocolate chip cookie
Snack: 1 cup of mint moose tracks ice cream
Total Water: 40 oz Plus 10 oz Sobe LifeWater
Total Treadmill: 14 minutes/ .52 miles
I got on the treadmill, wasn't much but better than nothing! It was so hot and humid today, I really didn't want to do it at all!
I think that if I read someones blog and EVERY day they did horrible, and ALWAYS said tomorrow will be better... I might get a little discouraged... and wonder about how much that person really wants it... maybe start to think about whether this person is serious or not...
Well, just know that I DO really want it and am dead serious... I guess it is harder to get back on the wagon than I thought, but I'm slowly making that climb back up... as of now I have lost 32.6 pounds, and I do NOT want to gain again. I know what I have to do, it's just DOING IT that's the problem... before when I would have a bad day or even 2, I could bounce back easy. This time it feels like it has been WEEKS, and it's not as easy... but I will! And tomorrow really WILL be better... thanks for not giving up on me... and I WILL NOT give up on myself.
sleepless in seattle
1 hour ago