Thursday, June 10, 2010

DREADING the Weigh In

So my eating has still been pretty bad. Snacking especially. I even ate doritos straight out of the bag without counting, definitely an old habit I never wanted to see again... just mindless eating. So needless to say, I am dreading facing the scale tomorrow. But, no matter how much I've gained, I will not get discouraged. I am ready to get back at it. I fell off the wagon, big time, but I'm ready to jump back on it! Tomorrow will be great :)

I just have to get back to where I was a few weeks ago. On the treadmill every day and eating smaller portions. Counting calories seems to help (thanks Tessa), and drinking a lot of water. The only thing I've been doing lately is getting in enough water, at least 40 oz a day. 50 yesterday... which makes my over eating that much worse! I'm sure my stomach is stretched back out, so this next week or so I may be VERY hungry :( It will probably be almost like starting over... even though I have been over eating, it still hasn't been as much as before Jan 1 2010, but it's been close!!!!!
I NEED to blog everyday, even if it's just to put down my food. I stopped because blogger wouldn't let me... but I shouldn't have let that give m an excuse to eat like I have been! Next time, if that happens again I will write on the computer just like it's my blog. Then post it when it comes back up! Just like the treadmill, one day off just completely derailed me. One turns into 2, into 3 into 5... I need to do these things EVERY DAY. Even though it's only been since Friday night that the eating got SO bad... it really has been sneaking up on me for a while... eating a little more here and there... buying snacks I was keeping out of the house... and now I just finally fell right off the wagon. Maybe Tessa's challenge being over had something to do with it... I knew it was great motivation. But I guess it was more then that, it held me accountable, and made it so I HAD to write what I eat every day, weather I wanted to or not! Thanks to Tessa and Byron, I never even thought about NOT doing it... I need to hold myself to that same standard now. I did it before the challenge, and I can do it again!
And of course there is everyone else that has joined me on my journey. All the comments and well wishes... I can't keep going on like I have been this week. I would let everyone down!!! I would let myself down!

Yes. I fell off the wagon, BUT I knew I was getting close to the edge, and it's my own fault I didn't stop it! There is no excuse, and I know that. I could have backed away from the edge at anytime...

It's already 9:32pm. Nothing I can do about today, or the past week, but I will make sure the rest of the night is good. Tomorrow is another day, another chance to do a good job. I'm climbing back up on that wagon and staying there! Of course there will be bumps in the road, but I'm just going to have to get a grip and hold on tight!!!

4 comments:

  1. That's why I gave up stuff like crisps and chocolate quite some time ago; if I start then I don't know if I'll stop and that's a dangerous place for me. If I eat fruit and vegetables then I can eat them 'til my hearts content without any repercussion. Is there anyone you can call who can make you accountable in these times? Still, if it was an unconscious snack attack then maybe that wouldn't work.

    I understand how you're feeling though, and you are definitely not alone in the struggle.

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  2. That would be the best thing for me, to just completely give up things, but I've tried that in the past and end up craving and eventually binging... I admire your will power to just stay away from that stuff completely!
    I have fruit in the house that I don't want to go bad. So I better eat it! lol :)
    No, no one to call, but all my "followers" make me want to be accountable. I really don't want to end up telling you all that I gained all of my weight back! I want to share my journey as I LOOSE it!
    Thank you for your comments :)

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  3. The best part of reading your blog [well, besides we LIKE you! Ya' sweetie] is that you are so brutally honest. About everything.

    You are a great cheerleader for others too and hope that you can get back to where you want to soon. Take care and have a great weekend.

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  4. SkippyMom! That was so nice of you to say :)

    I do try my hardest to be up front and honest, in my blog and in my life, honesty is very important to me.
    Thank you so much for your comment, you are so sweet :) What you said really means a lot to me :)

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