It Could Always be Worse

(This post really has nothing to do with loosing weight or any of that)

I feel like the last month was one big test. To see how stressed out I could get without pulling all my hair out and jumping out the nearest window... but now I feel like I passed...
Oh, I still have stress of course. But some of it has been relieved :) And the rest? I know it isn't going anywhere anytime soon. I will have to just do my best to cope with it. And I will try and remember these words that bring me comfort:

God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

Also, I have to remember that it could ALWAYS be worse. I feel that today for sure...

My Mom and Step Dad are living with my little brother, they are struggling and I know they can't afford it, yet they came over today and gave me $20. They said for the cookies OR just towards the price if I wasn't able to sell them and had to pay... that was so nice of them. My middle brother came and also spent $20 on cookies on top of giving my son money for his birthday. He may be better off money wise, but he still didn't have to do that. He doens't even have an oven hooked up right now lol! My youngest brother was going to spend $20, but we had all we needed by the time he got out of work. My family really came through for us today. It was really such a surprise... it was really nice. Even though they are struggling, they went out of their way for their family. I know my other brother would have too if he could have.
Lots of people came through for us today :)

One of those is my cousin K. She came over and also bought $20 worth!
K is a single mother of 3 little girls. Ages 3, 5, and 9. She has been having trouble with her middle child's Dad, always getting back with him and breaking up over and over. He is a worthless piece of trash... On top of that he is a drug addict, and physically abusive to her. Even in front of the kids. I'm always real with her, she knows she will get no bull shit from me, I've told her time and time again that she needs to stay away from him. It's not just her but the kids she has to worry about. I also tell her that I know it's hard, but she has to do whats right for them. That I love her, and will always be there for her, but she knows how I feel about it all.

She is still on and off with him, but more off lately. She just got a part time job last week, after being unemployed for... 8 years? It is hard to get a job around here, so things were looking up. She is also going to school part time.
Well last night she had to go to work, and he came over to babysit. He was high as a kite, on who knows what. He's mostly into pills and his methadone, so he was messed up. Got dropped off and couldn't even keep his head up. She made him leave and then I'm not sure what happened. I guess she must have stayed home from work, because she was having dinner with her daughters when her 9 year old started to imitate how her boyfriend had been acting. She was slurring and rolling her eyes up in her head. Her head was rolling around like she couldn't keep it up... K got really mad, she yelled at her to STOP IT, THAT'S NOT FUNNY! But no one was laughing. It wasn't an act.
She was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance, it was too late to pump her stomach, but they gave her something to help it go through her system faster... she came out of it alright...
She had swallowed 3 white pills. The test couldn't tell what they were... they could have been ANYTHING. When they asked why she took them, she said because she thought they were candy... but when asked HOW she took them, she said with a glass of water. "Do you usually swallow candy with water?" They asked. "No..." So you can read into that what you will...

She is home today, last I knew she was still unsteady on her feet and running into things. But she can talk, and everything else is ok. Child Protective Services will be paying a visit to K's house this week. Of course she doesn't know when, and doesn't know what will happen. She called her 'boyfriend' and told him that was it. That she finally decided her children were more important than him, and it's over. God I hope she is serious this time... I KNOW she is right now, but I hope she is in a month when he begs to come back...

And what if it's to late? What if CPS comes and takes her kids tomorrow? What if they decide to test her, and see that she has a little something in her system from a party she went to a few weeks ago??? What then???
I feel so bad for her, I know she is sick with worry. I also know that she should have stopped this along time ago... so it's hard to know how to feel...

All I know, is that all my money trouble, my weight struggles, all my horrible luck lately... it just seems so... unimportant. This last month my dryer quit, my car broke down, I had to get a tetanus shot when I hurt myself, both my phones quit working the other day, my air conditioner broke last month and we just got the bill for the electric. It's $100 more than usual because the air was on and not working for about 15 hours straight. That bill is now a shut off notice. The neighborhood I live in just seems to get worse and worse... there is more, but you get the point... all this sucks. But really? It's all just inconvenient compared to some peoples problems. It could ALWAYS be worse. My problems are not the end of the world. FAR from it.
If I lost my child? THAT would be the end of the world.