First I have to thank Just Me, for 'officially' joining me in My Day!!! Welcome and THANK YOU!
And everyone else that left comments yesterday, I was really in a bad place and felt so much better reading them. Thank you so much.
I only feel bad that there are some new names, that will have that angry depressed person be the first memory of my blog... NOT what I had in mind when I started it... but we all have those days right?
I live by IT COULD ALWAYS BE WORSE... and I had to remind myself that today. I am still a little down, but it really could be worse. I have my son, my fiance and that's what's really important :)
Nothing new as far as the drama. I am trying my hardest not to think about it... but honestly it kind of consumes my mind. I just have such a hard time understanding her, and how she can be so selfish. I just know that in my life my son comes first... and can't comprehend how her kids never did, and now her grandson doesn't either.... I don't know.... I'll never understand I guess. It's always something with her...
But I am still trying, I have to just get past it and move on. If/when she ever calls again, I'll deal with it. Right now there is really nothing I can do so I'm going to try and not let it bring me down...
Rephrase that. It did bring me down... but I'm not going to let it KEEP me down.
I really been messing up as far as food. But that stops now. Not tomorrow, right now. Back to the plan.
Here's what I ate today:
Drink: (84) Iced coffee
Snack: (90) Special K snack bar- Mocha
Dinner: (930) 3 slices of pizza, Water
Snack: (35) 1 bite of ice cream
Total Water: 58 oz (so far!)
Total Calories: 1139
Well, that was not the plan. I didn't mean to go till dinner without really eating... I was pretty depressed and surprisingly NOT hungry for once. I have been thirsty ALL day though!
I got busy on the laundry and took it to dry at the laundromat, I realized I hadn't eaten anything and had the snack bar before I left. (btw, I was pretty afraid that would hurt my back even worse than it is, but it actually feels about the same. Maybe even a little better?)
I am now tired of pizza, yeah you read that right. TIRED OF PIZZA. I know, it's crazy. I have only felt that way once before about my beloved pizza, and it is weird lol. But I am. Maybe because I ate it and this time it did not comfort me??? Either way, I hope this feeling last and I can stay away from it for a while!!! My body and my bank account need the break, BIG TIME.
Through all this I did stay on the treadmill :) Today's is:
15 minutes/ .55 mile
Total Days in a Row: 14
I am so glad I didn't stop doing that. The one thing I can be proud of :) OH! and not giving into my Pepsi craving!!! It has been hard!
Thanks to you all who have stuck by me. I know that stress is NO EXCUSE for heading to the fridge, and if I continue to let it throw me off course I will gain back all of the weight I lost. Making all that work, be for nothing. AND gain more! So I am rededicating myself to my plan right now. I can do this and I WILL. One day at a time.
dumb and dumber
12 hours ago
Glad to join you - for the good times and bad (hopefully more good than bad, right?). Being that I am much older than you (lol) let me give you some advice that I have recently discovered (since I suffered through this for many years). There are some things that you will never understand and they are not worth a nano-second of your time and energy (easy to say, hard to do - but, oh, so true). Isn't it wonderful that the "apple" (you) fell far from the tree and that your little boy has such a wonderful mother. I don't want to judge your mother harshly because everybody is fighting their own internal demons, but I want to send a virtual hug to you, for your suffering.
ReplyDeleteSo, the best revenge...living well. Glad you're keeping up your exercise. Just get back on track asap and you will not gain anything back...except a lot of experience along the way. Sending love your way!
Congrats on keeping the treadmill up for two weeks. And no Pepsi either! Well done.
ReplyDeleteYou're right, it could always be worse, but sometimes that is difficult to accept and it just feels like settling. I'm not a settler which is why I struggle with some things that I cannot change.
Thanks so much Just Me. I needed that virtual hug!!! :)
ReplyDeleteYeah, I know you're right. I'm going to really try to just ignore it. It would be so much easier, but my son loves her... it just makes it hard to know what to do sometimes.
Thanks for your kind words. I really am trying the best I can to be a good mother. I know we all make mistakes, but when it comes to my baby, I want to make as few as humanly possible! lol
Thanks Mark! Oh that pop was calling my name too lol.
You hit the nail right on the head. Some things are very difficult for me to accept. Just going to try and keep that serenity prayer in my head :)