I've Been Better

Hi. I've only missed one day, but it seems like longer to me. I really don't know what happened. I just started feeling really down. No reason. Well, now that I look at it, maybe just a sinking feeling because I knew something was coming??? Maybe I'm psychic.
So anyway, I felt down. I didn't write yesterday, Then today I felt worse. Then my Mother called tonight, and made it 10 times worse. Then she hung up on me, making it 20 times worse. Bitch.

My Mother thinks she is the only one in the world that gets depressed. She also thinks it's an excuse to be a selfish bitch and not care about anyone but herself. Oh poor Mother... whatever. I think she forgot who she was talking to when she hung up on me. Well I called her back and let her have it. She really wants that kind of relationship with me? Hang up on each other??? What the fuck?????
SO after we are done fighting some more, I tell her "Fine. Call me back when you grow up." and hung up on her. Ha, maybe not the most mature thing to do... but if that's how she wants it. She called back, the machine picked up. She should have said I'm sorry, and I would have picked up. But of course not. I hear "SO THIS IS REALLY HOW YOU WANT TO..." And CLICK, because I picked up and hung it up. I'll talk to her when she's ready to apologize.
So yeah, I've been pretty upset. I was shaking when I hung up and really felt like I was going to throw up. My back hurts pretty bad. It sucks. I feel like shit. My period started yesterday. Yeah, I've been better.

I stayed up all night Friday night. Got hungry about 2:30am Sat. So this is what I ate between 2:30 and 4.
about 1/2 cup of cheese chicken rice
1 cup ice cream
16 oz water

What I ate yesterday:
Breakfast: iced coffee, Fiber One bar
Lunch: 1/2 slice of pizza, Romaine salad with light ranch, croutons, cheddar, water
Dinner: taco bell- 1 cheesy gordita crunch, nachos bell grande, water
Snack: 3 Werther's throughout the day
Snack: 1 cup ice cream
Snack: 12 sunchips (only because there were only 12 left... otherwise I probably would have ate the whole bag
Total Water: about 40 oz?

What I ate today:
Iced coffee
5 slices of pizza
1 1/2 cup ice cream
2 Werther's
Total Water: 48 oz
All I ate today was pizza and ice cream. 2 of my FAVORITE things. They were delicious, but did not make me feel better. AT ALL.
My iced coffee is pretty good. 2 tsp hazelnut coffee mate, 2 tsp sugar. It's better when I leave it out a while and mix it with ice instead of putting it in the fridge at all. (Thanks!) Makes it about 92 calories, better than 200 for sure.
(Stayed up all night again, got hungry around 4am. Had 2 slices of pizza. ugh)

To all the blogs I follow: Sorry if I'm not leaving as many comments as usual. I'm still reading though :) Maybe your glad... I tend to leave a LOT of comments sometimes...

I CAN say that even though my eating is crap, I really wanted some pepsi- but I didn't have any. AND I have been staying on the treadmill.
Yesterday's Treadmill: 15 minutes/ .50 mile
Today's Treadmill: 15 minutes/ .55 mile
Total Days in a Row on the Treadmill: 13

Oh, here's some more good news. Some of you may remember how I was worried about how my brothers would take some news about me not going over there anymore. And how relieved I was that they seem fine and we're all cool. Well that's because she didn't tell them. So yeah, they are cool with it because they don't know about it yet. Ugh.

I may feel horrible right now. But I know it could always be worse, and this to shall pass. Hopefully sooner than later.