Tuesday, August 10, 2010


Still depressed, but feeling a little better.
Thank you for your comments, and it has actually cleared my mind up quite a bit. Sometimes having outside perspectives is a good way to really sort throug things. I agree with a lot of it, disagree with some of it, but it has made it more clear in my mind what I think of the whole situation.
It's late again and I'm not getting on the treadmill. I'm tired, and getting on it and taking a shower will wake me up, when what I need is to sleep. I have to get on it in the morning, instead of putting it off. Then I will have it DONE and no excuse not to do it!

What I ate today:
Lunch: 1 cup rice, 1 cup chicken veggie stir fry, whole wheat toast w a little country crock, water
Snack: mini fudge round
Dinner: 1 tostada, a few chips n cheese (about 6) water
Snack: about 10 cinnamon almonds
Total Water: 48 oz

Going to bed, probably talk with Ray for the first time in a day and a half.
Thank you all for your support and for caring. Hopefully what ever decisions I come to will be respected. If you disagree that's ok. I welcome all comments and suggestions, As long as it doesn't get twisted. Don't be angry if we disagree, just as I wouldn't be if it were the other way around.


  1. I swear every time you write the words "cinnamon almonds" I hear my tummy grumble. All I know is I am making batches and batches of them for Christmas. And if my friends are lucky and I don't eat them all? I might share. lol

  2. Cinnamon almonds...I have almonds...I have cinnamon...wonder if I can make them?? Hmm...
    Hope that the day is getting better...thinking of you and hoping that you feel the positive vibes coming your way!

  3. Glad you are having a better day. And even though some may not agree with your decisions we do have to respect them. I keep forgetting that we live on opposite sides of the 49th parallel and that our social programs are different. I never meant to suggest that you go to a homeless shelter. Here we have what they call what are called Women's Shelters where you can go to get away from a difficult domestic situation. They provide you with a place to live short term while they help you to find a job and a place to live independently. They even help you go back to school if you want and it is all funded by the government. They will hook you up with free counselling services, etc.
    I enjoy reading your posts because as I've said before it seems as if we could be twins. I don't agree with your minimization of weed not being as bad as cocaine or alcohol. It is still a drug and still not legal. I always said that my kids would never do any of these things, boy was I wrong. We sometimes under estimate our children because we so badly want them to be perfect.
    As I said I may not agree with your thoughts or decisions but I do respect them. As an individual they are important to you and no one should belittle that. I truly hope that everything works out for you and I will keep you in my prayers because I truly believe in miracles. So you keep on posting and every once in awhile I will disagree and we'll get a lively discussion going that is good for both of us. Major HUGSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!

  4. OMGoodness, I am SUCH a cheater. I buy the cinnamon almonds from the bulk bins at the local grocery store. :) I never even thought of making them! I love them, but I bet your homemade is WAY better SkippyMom!

    Thanks colonic :) I really do feel them today, I feel so much better and more my positive thinking self :)

    Tessa, Thank you so much. That's exactly what I needed to hear. That we can all agree and disagree, and it will all be ok :)
    I know that we all want to believe our kids wouldn't do anything like that, you are so right. My son is so shy and is hardly even away from the house (I wish he was more out going, but I do know what he's doing almost ALL the time) and I do know he has no interest in drugs and hasn't tried any... But the time is soon approaching that he will be getting older, and may not be as honest with me as he is now... and I really WON'T know for sure... for now I just have to do my best to make sure we keep our relationship as great as it is now... but I know that will get harder and harder as he will be a teenager in 1 short year!!! (omg)
    I think your prayers and others' vibes have helped me... and maybe this whole thing was a miracle in disguise... I'm going to update you all what's happened today in the next post :) Thank you so much :) Hugggsss!!!

  5. Oh, I must have missed a post because it seems like you are going through a lot in your relationship. I'm sorry to hear it! My relationship was really hard for a long time, so I fully get that difficulty. Try to support yourself as much as you can, and really take care of yourself!! It always helps you to feel more positive!