Have you ever seen Anger Management? When they say that to calm down? Cracks me up... but I need to do that I think...
Today started off wonderful. It was SUCH a beautiful day. I shut the air off last night, opened the house up today and all was well.
My son and I went to this awesome Library Moving sale. You buy a big bag for $2 and fill it up with books/dvds and whatever else is at the sale. We were packed in there like sardines, and didn't really find the nature science type books my son wanted, but we did ok. Brought home 7 novels for me, 3 books on native Americans, 7 children's/teen novels (that he wants nothing to do with, but he might later), a giant children's bible and some kind of dinosaur comic book. The one dvd I grabbed was empty when I got it home lol, but I can't complain for $4 total! Afterwards he also checked 2 books from his favorite series, Animorphs, and one animal book. About anphibains I think. So he was happy even though he doesn't like anything I grabbed lol.
Then my son went fishing with his papa (Jeff), Ray went discing, and all was well.
Then something happened that kind of ruined my day. I am feeling better now, so I don't want to go into detail, but it's an ongoing problem. I feel like Ray is embarrassed to be seen with me. Maybe I'm just self conscious.. but I don't think so. Maybe I'll write about it tomorrow, but I am in a good mood now and don't want to deal with it at the moment.
I am fine now, and have to hurry this up so I can go watch Saturday Night Live with my guys :)
What I ate today:
Drink: 2/3 iced coffee
Breakfast: 1 slice whole wheat w 1 tbs peanut butter
Snack: 3 cookies, 1 cup of milk
Lunch: 1/2 cup white rice, 1/2 cup chicken and veggie stir fry, 1 slice whole wheat buttered toast, 1 cup milk
Dinner: 1 cup noodles, 1 cup chicken broccoli alfredo, 1 cup milk
Snack: 1 Reese's peanut butter cup
Snack: another serving of chicken broccoli alfredo
Snack: bowl of honey bunches of oats w ff skim milk
Total Water: 38 oz so far
I thought I did ok, until dinner.
Then I got depressed and it went down hill. But that is NO excuse, I need to learn how to deal with my stress, because there is more to come! What I need to do is jump on the treadmill when I'm upset :) Easier said than done, but maybe some day I'll actually make that a habit...
Speaking of treadmill, after 3 weeks of not touching it, I got on it. It was only 14 minutes, but it's a start!
Treadmill: 14 minutes/ .52 miles 5 minutes with 2 LB weights
I'm going to really try to get back into the habit of doing it EVERY DAY. I'll even keep track,
Consecutive days on the Treadmill: 1 :)
K, I gotta go, James Franco is hosting and it's pretty funny so far :) Have a good night!!!
day of reckoning
22 hours ago
Awesome & Awesome! Great for getting on the treadmill - I thought of you tonight when we were walking the poopies and thought "I bet Tina is on her treadmill right now" - and YOU WERE! YAY! DOUBLE YAY!
ReplyDeleteand an added bonus? The Library sale - what a cool Mom are you? I want my library to do that. [Perhaps I should drop a bug in their ear about what a great idea that is?]
I am sure you are misconstruing what Ray feels about you - 13 years is a good track record for people that are happy together - you all seem to be - we all have our ups and downs in marriage/relationships - and yours is terrifically hard right now with everything, so you may have mistaken his intent. You are too great not to love and be proud of - he knows it and so should you. I hope you do.
Hugs! Have a great Sunday.
:) I thought of your comment about how we both know it's good for me, and I made myself get on it :)
ReplyDeleteYeah, there are little sales now and then, people donate books for it too... but this was a HUGE one because it is moving :) Not to far, but not within walking distance :(
I have been with him for 13 years, (stress the I) It was good on and off, but it has really only been great for the last 5? I know he loves me, if I didn't I wouldn't be with him. BUT I do think he is embarrassed to go anywhere with me. We go to my family gatherings, or the store, but that's it. We have gone to his mom/brother's house a few times- but nothing where more of his family will be. And not to anything his coworkers invite us to. I wish it was in my head... but it's really not. It hurts my feelings, but I just ignore it because everything else is good.
Thanks SkippyMom. Hugs :)
Hey Tina, nice job on the sale. It helps the pocketbook if you can do things like that. I read a lot so every once in awhile I'll hit a garage sale late on a Saturday afternoon and they just want to get rid of things so they let you take all the books you want for a couple of dollars. It's great!!! Don't read into things that are not there. I don't think Ray is ashamed of you but if it is bothering you then you need to ask him. Maybe because of your financial circumstances he doesn't want to do things he knows you can't afford. You have lost a lots of pounds so I think he's pretty proud of you for that. Or maybe he feels you may not want to go places with him...ask, or you will never know. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteI've known for a long time not to just wonder, I always say something if I am bothered. This time was no different, all he said was "Tina. Quit." Like I'm being ridiculous... but he can tell how serious I was, and I think it's just the truth.
ReplyDeleteIt's ALWAYS been that way... He's always gone to family things alone, or brought our son. I never made a big deal about it because I was so over weight I didn't want to go anyway. But I'm tired of not doing ANYTHING. And honestly, I feel better about being so fat, because I figure it doesn't matter if they see me, next time I will be thinner lol.
Yesterday was also a cook out at his cousins house that he doesn't see often. A few years ago he went, taking our son and not me. WELL this year she invited me directly, and he didn't want to go. If I didn't want to go, he probably would have went.
And for last night, I think he just doesn't want his co-workers to meet me, and unless he has a girlfriend at work or something, I can only guess it's because he is still embarrassed of me.
I know it seems like it could just be in my head... but I really don't think so.
Thanks Tessa :) hugs