Cook Outs are NOT GOOD for Me!

So my Mom had a surprise cookout today... I guess she doesn't get that it is only supposed to be a surprise to the birthday boy... not EVERYBODY. She called us yesterday, and called me at 7:30 last night to get numbers (well to ask ME to call people, but I gave her numbers lol) and invite people for today at 1:30... only a couple people showed up, but that's fine. Since he didn't know about it he was gone till we were all there for about 2 hours, and when he did get home he pretty much stayed in the house with my other brother and Ray... At least Ray came over to say hi to everyone before he went in! Oh well... whatever.

I had a very stressful day. I have been so irritated with my mother I haven't really wanted to be around her. And Jeff was drinking, and he annoys the hell out of me when he's had a few. While my son was in the house he starts talking about taking him fishing. OMGoodness. I really don't even want to hear it. He's taken him ONCE, and it must have been about 6 years ago. EVERY year he tells him he's going to take him and doesn't. I said "Yeah, that sounds great." Like- yeah sure you are... and my Mom actually said "Yeah, just don't mention it to him until you really are going to. Huh Tina." I said yeah, and was surprised to see she DOES realize he always says it and never does it... But she isn't upset about it or anything like I am. You don't tell a child year after year that your going to do something and not do it.

Which reminds me about the last time I was over there (about 2 or 3 weeks ago?) and there was the little cookout with my dad and step mom. Jeff and my Dad are just doing the small talk thing, about kids today and all the video games blah blah blah. And Jeff actually said "Yeah, he needs to be out fishing or something instead of in there playing those games!" Talking about my son!!! I couldn't BELIEVE that came out of his mouth!!!! I said "He WOULD go fishing if someone would take him. He would rather do that than play games any day." but I left it at that. I wanted to go off on him, but I didn't. I bit my tongue harder than I have ever bit it in my life!!! Let my son down EVERY year and then have the nerve to say that! I don't fish. I don't think Ray's ever fished a day in his life. But you know what? If he doesn't take him, I'm going to go over there and get the pole he supposedly got for my son and take him myself!!!! Asshole.

This post has gone on long enough I guess, so I won't go into all the other things stressing me out like the weed, or my cousin showing up high on who KNOWS what.

There were a couple good things about today. We saw a humming bird. I got some more sun without BURNING. I walked down to the little creek with my son, mom and her dog (I got bit up but that's ok as long as I don't catch the new mosquito virus they are finding here in MI). The food was good.
But I ate to much. I still haven't been to a cookout that I am happy with how I did yet. I don't know, being around people you'd think would make me eat less!!! But it's exactly the opposite!!!!

What I ate today:
Drink: (100) 1/2 bottle iced coffee
Lunch: (A lot) 2 chili dogs, 1/3 cup macaroni salad, 1 cup baked beans, about 15 cheddar potato chips.
Drink: (83?) about 6 oz red pop
Snack: (260) 1 cup ice cream
Snack: (267) about 20 chips and 1/2 cup of low fat cottage cheese
Total Water: about 65 oz
Total Calories: about 1700?  -about 710 plus lunch (which was a lot, but I don't think more than 1000)

Lunch was supposed to be at 1:30, but it got to be 2:00 and it wasn't even started. I think we finally ate around 3. So I was STARVING.
I really didn't want the pop, but that's all they had. I picked the only one without caffene so I wouldn't be craving it tomorrow... Almost all of the wate I had was in the last few hours. I was SOOOOO thirsty!
I decided I didn't need anything for dinner, and that led to snacking later (while we were watching a movie I ate those chips out of the bag!!! A NO NO!) I could have made healthy snack choices though, NO excuse for that.

Tomorrow Mom said she was going to get the pool out and have us over. I actually made it clear today that he is not allowed to spend the night there... she didn't realize that. Even though it's been about a month, she just hadn't noticed I guess... She actually told me he could spend the night tonight, KNOWING Jeff was drinking... but now she knows he won't be anymore. She tried to push the subject, but I really didn't want to talk about it. So we didn't. I told her he can come visit, but that she doesn't have any interest in that either. That's when she decided about tomorrow. We'll see. If she calls we'll go over there I guess. Just for a little bit.

I don't feel good. I don't know if it's because I ate crap or because I've been so stressed all day. Probably a combination.

You know, I have actually been quite depressed since last night!!!! I watched a movie called The Boy in the Striped Pajamas (pajamas was spelled different though...) Have you seen this movie??? It was... good I guess... I had NO IDEA what it was about till I started watching it. It made me cry, and I've been kind of down ever since. Ray had fallen asleep so I watched it and cried alone. (He woke up later and wanted to fool around and I couldn't because I just felt like crying! TMI??? Sorry. That's just not like me at all)

Well, I can tell I'm rambling, so I'll go now haha :) Tomorrow will be better.
I didn't give into sacking last night, and I am full now. I will probably not eat anything, but If I do it will be grapes.