The Last Monday Weigh In

It's Monday. The last Day of Tessa's Challenge. The last day I will be weighing in on Monday. And the scale says...

Ah phooey. The same as Friday

A .4 gain since last Monday.

It would have been nice to go out on a good note, ah well. 

I lost 13.4 pounds during the challenge...

definitely far from the 24.75 we were supposed to!

But that's ok.

I want to thank Tessa for having this challenge!

It was a good motivation, I'm very happy to have taken part in it :)

So thank you very much!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here's My Day:

Breakfast: Nothing

Lunch: (290) egg and cheddar on a sourdough english muffin, 4 oz orange juice

Snack: (450) 3/4 an iced coffee with a fudge round

Dinner: (1050) Papa Murphy's- Romaine salad with 1/4 cup cheddar and 2 tbs light ranch, 2 large slices chicken bacon ranch, 1 slice medium pepperoni

Snack: (100) 1 Hershey nugget the rest of the iced coffee

Drink: (100) 1/2 an iced coffee

Snack: (106) 6 tortilla chips with corn and black bean salsa

Total Water: 60 oz

Total Calories: 2096

I had a head ache all morning, but even though I wasn't hungry I was drinking a lot of water. In fact, I forgot to weigh in first thing... hopefully some of the gain was water? LOL.

I feel good now except for my legs. They hurt pretty bad, from bending so much yesterday while cleaning the basement. The back of my thighs hurt. I want to to the treadmill. It might not be a mile, but I need to get on it any way :) I need to do the treadmill everyday again, that's all there is to it!

I wanted to get my weigh in posted real quick, so I'll be back in a while to finish up- add up my calories and the treadmill :)

Treadmill: 26 minutes/ 1.01 miles   10 minutes of that with 2 LB weights

I'm back and I feel great :) SO glad I got on the treadmill. I think it helped the back of my thighs to tell you the truth!

I also just got back from reading Byron's blog, Less of Me the Hard Way. He ended our challenge on a GREAT note, unlike myself. He lost over 4 pounds this week! That's awesome, and I'm so happy for him that it somehow makes me feel better even though I gained.

So this is it, the challenge is done... I really hope I can stay motivated to write what I eat everyday now, even though I don't HAVE to. I have to thank Tessa for that also. For keeping me in the habit of writing down what I eat everyday, it is something I will really try and continue to do now. AND for all the support. If not for this challenge I may not have connected with Byron either, and his support has also helped me so much. So one more huge:

THANK YOU TESSA!!!!

Well...

I feel much better today. I think maybe being outside yesterday might have helped my mood. Actually talking about it (or writing lol) has helped me a lot too.
My eating? Well... could have been worse... but definitely could have been better too.
Here's my day:
Breakfast: Water (wasn't hungry, and started cleaning right away)
Lunch: (630) General Tso's Chicken (a frozen family meal me and Ray split) a romaine salad with 2 tbs light ranch, 2 tbs croutons, 1/8 shredded cheddar, Water
Snack: (500) 9.5 oz iced coffee and a fudge round
Dinner: (875) An arby's turkey club sub, small value size strawberry banana shake, a single curly fry
Snack: (50) Hershey Nugget
Snack- late night (270) 1 cup of Raisin Bran Extra with 1 cup ff skim milk
Total Water: 40 oz
Total Calories: 2325
I am never buying a box of those fudge rounds again. What was I thinking? They are 300 calories EACH and now there are about 6 left!
I didn't do the treadmill today. I did get exercise though. I got up early and started in on my basement, I had to clear out some space because my brother was coming today. After 5 years he is going to finally get all his stuff out of there! Woo Hoo! Wait, WHAT? After I cleaned for over an hour down there, he didn't show up? aww, that sucks. LOL. But really, I'm so glad I did it. Just one of those things I have had to do, and just couldn't force myself till the last minute. Now when the real last minute comes, and he's really on his way, it is already done! ha! I have a lot to do down there, but now there is room for him to get his stuff, and that's what I wanted.
Whether I get exercise or not, the treadmill I know is a huge part of my weight loss so far. I HAVE to get back to where I was before, having the "I have to do it NO MATTER WHAT" mentality. I had that for over 2 monthes straight, I need to get it back!

Sugar Overload

Ugh, I didn't even realize how late it is!!!
I actually had a pretty good day today. NOT my eating, that was HORRIBLE. And I didn't do the treadmill, but not because I was depressed, but because I was gone all day. We went over to my brothers (and Mom's) and had a little cook out and then stayed there a while. We just got back at 11 pm. Our son is staying the night, and me and Ray are about to watch a movie. Hopefully he doesn't fall asleep lol.
I did talk to him a little today about what has been bothering me. Just a real quick talk... and It did help. My mood was kind of up and down, but mostly up I would say.
My food was so bad today. Whenever I go over there it is! BUT I can't blame it on my Mom, she didn't make me eat the burger... I also can't blame anyone else for my Sugar Breakfast either... that was all me. I ate just as bad at home today as I did there.
Here's My Day:
Breakfast: 9.5 oz iced coffee and a Fudge Round *wince*
Snack: Hershey's Nugget
Lunch: Italian Sandwich, 8 baby carrots with 1/2 tbs light ranch
Dinner: Hot dog on a bun, 5 pringles, 9 lays with sour cream and onion dip. Plate 2: more lays and a hamburger on bun. Water
Desert: toffee ice cream bar
Snack: Fudge round
Snack: Hershey's Nugget
Total Water: 56.9 oz
The only good thing I can say is I made sure to bring my water, and drank NO pop. I am really trying to stay away from pop and I'm doing good. So I got in a lot of water, and am still drinking. Oh, and even though I gave in and bought light ranch, I used half as much as usual. Got in some carrots that way...
The rest is all bad. I know it. SO much sugar today, oh my goodness what was I thinking??? I couldn't get enough of it!
Ray is heating up a frozen pizza right now, and I am probably going to have a small slice. SMALL slice. I'm hungry, because it's late now. i know I should have some fruit...

Gaining on Weigh In Day, is NO FUN

I knew it was going to be a gain... and here it is:

That is a 1 pound gain from last week. :(

This is the first time I have gained on my Friday weigh ins since I started this blog :(

It sucks.

BUT I know why I gained, so I will just have to do better.

Just have to get to where I was when I started this journey!

I missed 2 days of treadmill this week, My Totals are:

3 hours 12 minutes/ 7.4 miles

Tricia over at Endrance isn't Only Physical is having a Goody giveaway. For Stay put hair accesories. Here's the link:

http://www.enduranceisntonlyphysical.blogspot.com/2010/05/goody-stayput-giveaway

I want to thank you all for bearing with me yesterday. Not my finest hour, but that's what this is about for me I guess. Being open and honest, about whatever is going on. I realize I am going to have days like yesterday, and I have to make sure I can come out of them without throwing away all my hard work. I have to somehow separate food from comfort... how? I'm not sure...

Even though I still felt pretty down, I think I did better... a little... Today I just tried to stop and think, and listen to my body. Not the best day, but it wasn't as bad as it could have been. Much better then yesterday. Tomorrow will be even better.

Here's My Day:

Breakfast: (200) 9.5 oz bottle of iced coffee

Lunch: (602) Romain/ iceberg lettuce salad, 1/4 cup cheddar, 2 tbs light ranch. 1 slice of leftover pizza, 1 cheese stick, water

Snack: (100) 2 Hershey nuggets

Dinner: (520) 1 asparagus stuffed chicken, 1/2 cup peas, 2 cheese sticks, 1 cup ff skim milk

Snack: (290) 21 tortilla chips with salsa

Drink: (100) 1/2 an iced coffee

Snack: (150) Hershey nugget, rest of iced coffee

Total Water: 40 oz

Total Calories: 1962

I decided I didn't need croutons, the salad was crunchy enough. BUT I had more cheese and dressing then normal, so I guess I ruined that...

My body feels much better when I get in my 40 oz of water. I can't believe I used to go a week with none! I would feel HORRIBLE if I did that now! I also feel better when I do the treadmill.

Treadmill: 26 minutes/ 1 mile   6 minutes with 2 LB weights

I wish I didn't have the pain in my legs. I went all this time without having pain while walking, and now this last couple weeks they just keep getting worse :(  But I still felt good after I was done, glad that I did it. It has to be mandatory. I have to get on it NO MATTER WHAT.

I'm gonna be BUSY tomorrow. To make a long story short, my brother has had all his crap in my basement for what has turned into 5 years. He is moving now and I have to go clear my crap out of the way so he can get his crap out. It's A LOT of crap. You ever seen the show Hoarders? That's my basement. If I can't sleep, maybe I will get started tonight.

Thanks again for your comments. I think I will be better tomorrow. And in case I wasn't clear, I really do love Ray and I know he loves me. I know he has changed. He has been so good to me in the last 6 years. I really do think I have forgiven him. But I just can't get rid of the memories you know? I do feel much better now though... tomorrow I know I'll be great.

He has tomorrow night off, if I do still feel this way maybe I'll talk to him... but there's nothing he can do... so I probably won't... Ugh! I'm gonna go now :)

I'm ok though, thanks for listening (or reading I should say). goodnight.

Thursday. Depressed.

Here's My Day:
Breakfast: (240) Fiber One Bar-Oats and Chocolate, 1/2 iced coffee
Lunch: (713) Chips (about 20) and Cheese topped with Taco Soup, Brisk raspberry iced tea
Snack: (300) Sundae Shop Chocolate centered Nut Cone
Dinner: (1136) Hungry Howie's- 1/2 turkey club sub, 1 slice pepperoni pizza, 2 small cheese sticks, romaine salad with 2 tbs light ranch 2 tbs croutons and 1/8 cup cheddar, Water
Snack: (322) 82 grams apple, 31 grams strawberries, 41 grams grapes 3 tbs fruit dip, 1/2 iced coffee
Total Water: 20 oz
Total Calories: 2711 :(
No excuse for today. Feeling depressed. But that's no excuse. I wish I couldn't eat when I am depressed like some people, instead I eat more. Can't make myself get on the treadmill. Tomorrow WILL be a gain on my official weigh in day. That sucks, but I did it to myself. Could have been prevented.

Don't know why I am so depressed. Well, I do know why- memories, feelings, pain, all pushed deep down. Sometimes it comes to the surface, and THAT is what I don't know the why about. Why today? Why any day? I don't know what triggered it but now I am thinking of the things I can not change, all the pain I can not get rid of...

Ray asks me whats wrong all day. It only makes it worse. He hugged me and that only made me cry. Most of the memories today are because of him... it was so long ago, and I really did forgive, but I can't forget. I so wish I could forget, but I can't. He is grown now, and not the same person. I know he loves me. He will spend the rest of his life making it all up to me, and I believe this. It has been 6 years since he promised me this, and I do believe it. But what am I supposed to do with all this pain? I can't take it out on him, I already have, years ago. I can't scream at him anymore and ask him why... if I say I have forgiven... that's just not fair to him.

I don't cry. When I do it really hurts me, makes me feel weak. So on top of feeling depressed and hurt, I feel weak now. I don't feel like myself at all... I feel like... someone else... not me. But still me...

I know one thing, I can't sleep when I'm depressed... it's going to be a long night.

Wednesday

Here's My Day:
Breakfast: (573) 2 eggs with cheddar on 2 halves of a bagel, 6 oz orange juice
Snack: (50) 1 Hershey's Nugget
Drink: (200) 9.5 oz iced coffee
Lunch: (170) 1/2 turkey pepperoni sandwich (with miracle whip and hot pepper rings)  on whole wheat
Dinner: (624) 1 cup taco soup with 1 tortilla. Then 1/4 cup Taco Soup with 1/8 cup cheddar on a tortilla, 1 cup ff skim milk
Snack: (271) 56 grams Strawberries, 70 grams grapes, about 4 tbs my fruit dip (including licking the spoon lol)
Snack: (267) 1/2 cup Cocoa Crispies/1/2 cup multigrain cheerios in 2% milk (yeah... weird I know)
Total Water: 45 oz
Total Calories: 2155
That half sandwich was because it was pretty close to dinner time. I was busy and forgot to eat I guess, and just wanted something to hold me over so I split it with Ray. I first made one 2 days ago, and He LOVES those sandwiches lol.
I'm pretty tired. Did some more cleaning today, had Ray's Mom and niece over for dinner. Also, my son came home sick from school. They had a fun outdoor thing today, with run/walking to raise money and bounce houses to jump in. The problem? They were out in the sun for 3 hours. It was all a nice idea, but it happened to be 90 DEGREES today. I sent a baseball cap with him and he shared sunblock with a friend, but that wasn't enough. So anyway, he made it through the day, and as soon as they got back in the school to get ready to go home, he started throwing up :( I brought him home to the air conditioner (I gave in and turned it on 2 days ago. It's been record temps everyday) I gave him a cold rag for his head and water. I'm happy to say he is fine now :)
Treadmill: 27 minutes/ 1.05 miles   5 minutes with 2 LB weights
I added up the calories for the taco soup. According to the calories and servings in all the ingredients, it comes to 159.38 calories per serving. BUT I realized, the tomatoes really cook down, and I'm not exactly sure how many cups of meat it was... so I'm not going to put that on the recipe page for it. I'm sure it's VERY close, but next time I'm going to actually measure out how many cups it makes, so I'll know for sure :)

The Biggest Looser is Over

For THIS season that is. I am not ashamed to say I love that show. Of course the last 3 or so seasons they have really had no shame in placing ads throughout the show... and it is annoying but that's not enough to make me stop watching lol. Jillian gets on my nerves sometimes, she actually annoyed me so much that I didn't watch the last season... but I love Bob enough to make up for that too haha. So I'm back to watching it.
I so admire the bravery of the people that go on that show and put it ALL out there. And so happy for the ones that truly change there lives :) It is a great motivation! I am changing my life, it may not be as fast as it is for the biggest looser contestants... I can't work out ALL DAY and have them buy me only healthy foods. I am not going to get $250,000 when I loose a lot... I'm in the real world and I know that. I know my change will take much longer. Slowly but SURELY :)

Here's My Day:
Breakfast: (230) Fiber Plus Bar- Dark chocolate Almond, 1/2 iced coffee
Lunch: (417) Sandwich (2 oz turkey, 8 pepperonis, hot pepper rings, 1 tbs miracle whip) on whole wheat, 4 baby carrots, 6 garden salsa sunchips, water
Snack: (131) 2.5 oz strawberries with 1 yoplait light cup strawberry shortcake yogurt, Water
Snack: (50) 1 Hershey's Toffee Almond Nugget
Drink: (65) 1/2 can brisk raspberry iced tea
Pre Dinner: (170) Romain salad with tomato dressing, 3 tbs croutons, 1/4 cup mozzarella
Dinner: (645) 1 cup of spaghetti with 1/2 cup chicken, broccoli alfredo sauce, 1 slice of whole wheat parmesan toast, 1/2 cup of peas, 1 cup ff skim milk
Snack: (50) 1 hershey's toffee almond nugget
Snack: (281) .5 oz almonds, .7 oz cinnamon almonds, other half of iced coffee
Snack: (20) tiny pinch of mozzarella
Total Water: 40 oz
Total Calories: 2059
I just been eating so much it seems! I don't know why I am so hungry lately... Gotta snack less.If I were a stronger person maybe I could through those Hershey Nuggets out... but I just can't! 2 isn't bad though... I would like to keep it at ONE per day. Ray and my son are eating them too. So they won't be here much longer lol ;)
Treadmill: 81 minutes/ 3.2 miles A New Biggest Looser Walk Record! Woo Hoo! 5 minutes of that with 2 LB weights.
I actually did it earlier in the day, because I have been having trouble with my legs. I figured I'd do what I could and finish at my normal time while the show was on. BUT after a bout a mile and a half, my leg felt better and I did it all at once :) I'll still call it my Biggest Looser Walk, even now that the show is done lol. I guess I have to figure out when I want to do it now... Maybe I'll try it during the day again next Tuesday. We will see! I hope I can keep the motivation with out the show, because I really need to keep doing it!

Jillian's new show is starting next Tuesday, Loosing It With Jillian. Is anyone going to watch it??? I probably will... don't know for how long though. Like I said, sometimes she gets on my nerves lol. We'll have to see :)

I'm back. I stayed up way to late, got hungry and ate some pop corn and more water. Why? I don't know! Because it was quick and easy I guess. Dumb. Popcorn hurts my stomach I think... my insides hurt now.... So anyway, that adds 150 calories and another 5 oz of water.

Monday Weigh In

Well, it's not good news. Today the scale said...

That is a gain of .6 pounds since last Monday.

I guess after my self sabotaging day Saturday, I should be happy it's not more!

Of course it is impossible for me to be happy about a gain.

As you probably know, I am in Tessa's Challenge. It was 77 days long, and the challenge was to be the first to loose 24.75 pounds by May 31st. That was an average of 2.25 pounds per week, which I think was a good number. Of course I didn't do that, so here we are! It is down to the last week, and to even reach my goal I would have to loose 10.95 pounds this week... ummm... I don't think that is going to happen lol. That's like Biggest Looser Ranch numbers! BUT I am going to try my hardest to loose as much as I can this week anyway. In a healthy way of course, no starving myself or doing anything crazy :) Just eating less, maybe a little more treadmill if I can. Also trying to snack on fruit instead of junk and my beloved Hershey Nuggets :) I can't get to a 10.95 pound loss, and that's ok :) But I am going to get as close as I can!

Here's My Day:

Breakfast: (100) 1/2 iced coffee

Snack: (50) 1 Hershey's almond toffee nugget

Lunch: Sandwich (2 oz turkey, 8 pepperonis, 1 tbs miracle whip, hot pepper rings YUM), 5 baby carrots, 6 garden salsa sunchips, water

Drink: 1/2 can brisk raspberry iced tea

Snack: (50) 1 Hershey's nugget

Snack: yoplait apple streusel yogurt with 1/4 cup Kashi Go Lean clusters

Snack: (50) 1 Hershey's nugget

Dinner: 2 servings of Ray's Broccoli chicken spaghetti alfredo, 2 slices of whole wheat parmesan toast, 1 1/2 cups of ff skim milk

Snack: (265) .7 oz almonds, .3 oz cinnamon almonds, other 1/2 iced coffee

Snack: (50) 1 Hershey nugget

Total Water: 40 oz

Total Calories:

Not the BEST day... Didn't need 2 helpings of dinner for sure.

I had the munchies and tried to make good decisions. Those chocolates got the best of me... FOUR TIMES, did I mention they are my favorite candy ever? But I am going to try my hardest this week, if I have to have one of those I will only have ONE a day. I have fruit and will be eating it!!!

I had to force down those 5 carrots with no light ranch... was worse then I thought lol. But for this week I will go with out it and see if I don't get used to it :)

Treadmill: 27 minutes/ 1.01 miles   5 minutes of it with 2 LB weights

Still having some pain in my lower left leg. It's under my calf and almost feels like a... pulling feeling? I don't know. I do know that my biggest looser walk is tomorrow, and I hope it doesn't keep me from going the full time!

A Hot Sunday

I am sweating right now as I write this! Even my cats look miserable! It got to a record 86 degrees here today. I'm telling you, the weather is crazy. It got to 82 about a month ago, then snowed the next week, then stayed in the 50s and 60s now all of a sudden it's going to be 88 all week... ugh. Even though it was a hot one, I had a great day :)

I want to thank Ordinary Girl for joining us here at My Day! It's always such a nice surprise to see another little picture over there :)

I don't want to spend to much time on yesterday... I really let myself down, and I'm not proud of it. I don't know what happened... the thing with my Gramma will be 3 years ago this October... and I have been doing so well for a long time. My Mother started talking to her again a couple months ago, so now I have to think about it sometimes... I just will never understand I guess. Never have any kind of closure so it will always hurt. She was the ONLY person that I could always count on and had never let me down... her and my Grampa that is. But now my Grampa is gone and she isn't that person anymore... she is totally changed and I have accepted that. I have accepted that she chose her sick and twisted daughter over her whole family. WE would have never made her choose, but her daughter Sherry did. Made her choose and she very clearly made the choice. Now, the longer time goes on, the less she will remember of the truth. She lives in Sherry World, and what ever Sherry says happened is truth to her now. If my Mom wants to talk to her, I told her I would never be mad at her for it. But if she gets to close, she WILL get hurt again. She acts like she knows this, but I don't know... I DO know that I will never talk to her for the rest of her miserable life, that way I am sure I will not be hurt again.
If anything, that all should be a motivation to stick with it and be a better me despite them. I will try and remember that... I'll try to just not think of them at all lol.
Thanks again for the comments yesterday, I was feeling pretty down. So that was really nice, thank you.

Now to today! I woke up at 6am and couldn't go back to sleep. Sunday is the only day I don't have to bring someone somewhere and I usually take full advantage lol. But I got up. I felt like cleaning (which is rare) so I did. A LOT.
I know that while I felt GREAT today, it was also a little manic... from an extreme low yesterday to an extreme high today. Don't get me started on how unnerving it is when I realize things like this and think "Dang... acting just like Mom..." but maybe that's how I keep it under control??? Seeing the signs and trying to calm down and asses the situation? So far so good.... Right now I feel normal :)

Here's My Day:
Breakfast: (100) 1/2 Iced coffee
Lunch: (377) Tuna Sandwich with 8 baby carrots and 1/2 tbs light ranch (all I had left. AHHH!), Water
Snack: (395) 18 yogurt raisins, .5 oz cinnamon almonds, .5 oz Almonds, 1/2 iced coffee
Dinner: (760) 2 bowls of taco salad made with taco hamburger helper (TOTAL: 1 1/2 cups, 10 tortilla chips, 1/4 cup cheddar, iceberg lettuce, 4 taco bell sauces) Water
Snack: (300) 2 Hershey's Toffee Almond Nuggets (my FAVORITE), 1 9.5 oz iced coffee
Snack: (28) 14 grapes, water
Total Water: 60 oz
Total Calories: 1960
Ran out of light ranch! I thought I had another one in the pantry, but I was WRONG... I guess now is as good a time as any to see it I can survive without it lol. Those Toffee almonds nuggets are my favorite candy, I have a bag in the house, and I only had 2. That's good... Now I have to continue to be good.
Treadmill: 30 minutes/ 1.12 miles
As I mentioned it was very hot. I honestly don't remember when in my life I sweat like that!!! If EVER!!! But when I was done, I felt great! :)

Saturday

I started my day off pretty good. I made sure I only had 3 slices of turkey bacon, instead of 6 or 7. But some how the day just went down hill. I am the first to admit I make a LOT of mistakes when it comes to eating. I don't plan them, they just happen. But today was different. Today I just didn't care. I brought my son over to my mom's and didn't have to worry about what to fix to eat... and I didn't care.

I have been thinking about my gramma today, ever since talking to my mom. I try not to think about it, because it just makes me so mad. She actually brought a few things up to my Gramma, and My Gramma said that I twisted things around... Wait, WHAT!?!?! To make it super short, she is still in "Sherry World." She still stands by her horrible, selfish, delusional daughter and will never come back to the real world. I'll never speak to either on of the b****es again, but my mother talks to my gramma. That's fine as long as she doesn't let her hurt her. Maybe this stress made me quit caring today. It is no excuse at all. Maybe that's not even why. I don't know. Don't really care.

I ate crap, I didn't do the treadmill, I ALMOST didn't blog! Would have been the first day since I started... I was just like "Ah, it's going to be a gain on Monday any frickin way, why bother." But I need to even on days like today.
So here it is, it ain't pretty, it is what it is:

My Day:
1 egg with cheese on a sour dough muffin, 3 slices of turkey bacon, 8 oz orange juice
crab salad with 3 large crackers, water
1 bagel with cream cheese, 6 oz orange juice
about 15 garden salsa sunchips
2 large slices of pizza, 8 oz cherry coke
chips and cheese, 8 oz cherry coke
hostess cup cake and iced coffee
Total water: 30 oz
Total calories: A whole crap load of calories

I know, it was bad. Definitely the worst eating day since 1-1-2010.

So Glad it's Friday

It's been one of those weeks, just seemed to drag on for ever. I had some good moments though :)

Today is Friday, official weigh day. And the scale says...

Same as Monday... but it's ok 

It's a 1.2 lb loss from last Friday! Yeah!

My Totals for the week are:

Treadmill: 4 hours 4 minutes/ 9.42 miles. Crunches: 450

That beat my record distance in a week by .15 :)

I hoped to have lost more since I walked so much, but hey-

what can I expect with the way I have been eating?!? I am very happy with 1.2 pounds :)

Here's My Day:

Breakfast: (50) some of an iced coffee

Lunch: (625) 1 1/2 servings of crab pasta salad with 2 large crackers (4 little ones), Romain salad with 3 tbs croutons, 1/4 cup cheddar, 1 1/2 tbs light ranch. Water

Snack: (305) .5 oz of regular almonds with .5 oz cinnamon almonds, rest of iced coffee

Dinner: (1070) Vitale's- 2 large slices of pepperoni pizza, 2 large bread sticks with sauce, 12 oz cherry coke

Snack: (160) Good Humor Strawberry Shortcake ice cream bar (Yuck! Did they always have coconut on them?? I swear this isn't what I remember them being like, I LOVED them as a kid!)

Total Water: 40 oz

Total Calories: 2210

I really like those cinnamon almonds lol. I bought a little bag of them in bulk. I thought I would get some regular ones too, because almonds are good for you. So when I snack on them, I'll try to do mostly regular almonds with a few cinnamon ones mixed in for flavor :)  Did you know the regular almonds are 180 per oz and the cinnamon ones are 130 per oz??? I didn't! I was surprised the sugary ones were less calories...

Yes. ordered food today :( Very stupid... I know. On top of that, they were large slices and I would have been good with only one. Ugh...

Treadmill: 27 minutes/ 1.02 miles

After I got off the treadmill, I got this pain up my back. Now I have it in the middle and left side, it hurts when I turn at all :( We did go grocery shopping today... got heavy items like kitty litter, and stocked up on Ray's 12 packs of Mtn Dew (on sale), but I didn't feel anything till after the treadmill.... I just hope it feels better in the morning. I'll take some Tylenol here in a minute.

Goodnight!

I'm back. Stayed up and watched a movie with the kid :)

We had some pop corn and I had a can of Brisk Iced tea... so that uped the calorie count some more:(  K goodnight... again.

Went to the Buffet, and it was AWESOME!

Ray's Mom took us to our favorite restaurant. It's this Chinese place and it is the best... but for some reason, today it wasn't as good as it usually is :(  I don't know why, but the good thing about that is I ate less :) I ended up with 1 1/2 plates, but didn't finish either one, crazy right?!? lol.

Wanna know the awesome part? Ray's Mom said "Have you lost some weight???"
Now, at first in my head I was pissed off. Let me explain: Ray and her were at the table alone, he walks away and I come with my plate and she said that...
Ray knows how good it made me feel a few days ago when my mom noticed... so instead of believing she actually noticed, I thought he told her to say that! To make me feel good! I asked him a few times, and it was the first thing out of my mouth when she said it: "Did Ray tell you to say that to me!?!" haha! Talk about a psycho daughter in law LOL! When I realized she said it on her own I was very happy :) I was already happy with my mom and Ray noticing, and now I'm SUPER happy. For real, on cloud 9 :) I hadn't seen her since she came over for taco soup (a month ago at least). She had no idea that I was even trying to loose weight, and she noticed :) It feels great.
Here's My Day:
Breakfast: Nothing (wasn't hungry and knew we were going out for lunch)
Lunch: (1415) Abacus 1 1/2 plates, my best estimate: 3/4 cup egg/veggie fried rice, 1/2 cup broccoli chicken. 1/4 cup Mongolian beef, 2 egg roles, 5 crab rangoon with 1/8 cup sweet and sour sauce, 5 little pieces of chicken, 1 tiny piece of fish, 10 oz water, 1 fortune cookie, 2 little sweet... things
Snack:(26) .2 oz cinnamon almonds
Dinner: (89) left over carrots (about 20 cooked w a little honey), 1 bite of left over chicken helper, 1 cup 2% milk
Snack: (301) 4 yogurt raisins, .6 oz of cinnamon almonds, 9.5 oz iced coffee
Snack: (300) bowl of strawberry frosted mini wheats with 2% milk
Total Water: 50 oz
Total Calories: 2131
Wow, that's a lot of calories for lunch. I used what I could find on the internet for the same dishes (or similar ones) at different restaurants. I thought I did pretty good... but I guess not as well as I thought!

I bought my scale a while back. I actually have had it in the box all this time, thinking of taking it back to the store. I measure everything with cups and measuring spoons. Well, I finally used it when I started measuring these cinnamon almonds, yesterday or the day before, because it doesn't list the cups or tbs for them anywhere. The scale is pretty cool, I'm going to try and use it more often.

Didn't make it to the store today, you can tell because I'm drinking Ray's 2% milk LOL. Tomorrow for sure, and I'll stock up on fruits!

Treadmill: 30 minutes/ 1.1 miles   9 minutes of that with 2 LB weights
Ugh, tonight was one of my hardest on the treadmill. My legs are both pretty sore. Maybe the biggest looser walk? Maybe because I don't stretch? I don't know, but they hurt. On top of that it got to 80 degrees today! It's no fun walking on the treadmill when it's hot. But I did :) and even though it was hard, it felt great to be able to say I did it anyway. I went slower then usual because of my legs, but I went for 30 minutes and got a little more than my mile in. Woo Hoo!

Addicted to Owls

Well, it is official. I am totally addicted to the owls. Last night I got to see Max take his first little flight :) It was so exiting!

I stayed up way to late. I think I went to bed at 2:30am, had to get up at 3:30am to bring Ray to work. Watched them again till about 5am and had to get up at 7:50am to get my son up for school... WELL, I must have turned off my alarm in my sleep!!! He was about 15 minutes late for school! Because of my owl addiction! That's pretty sad... Sooo, I guess I have to give it up... I will check in on them, but I can't watch them all night anymore. I have to start getting my butt to bed!

What I'd really like to do is walk in the mornings instead of around 8pm, which has become my normal time... I have said that since the beginning of the year, but just... don't. That would help with being able to go to bed at night, I know it.

Here's My Day:

Drink Pre Breakfast: (40) Rest of the iced coffee

Breakfast: (570) bagel with cream cheese, 8 oz orange juice

Lunch: (412) Tuna Sandwich (1 can of tuna, 1 tbs miracle whip, hot pepper rings, 1/8 cup cheddar) on whole wheat, 6 garden salsa sunchips, 8 baby carrots with 1 tbs light ranch

Snack: (130) 1 oz cinnamon almonds, 1/2 an iced coffee

Dinner: (717) 2 cups(2 servings) Chicken helper, 10 baby carrots cooked with a little honey, 1 cup 2% milk

Snack: (187) 5 strawberry yogurt covered raisins, 4 cinnamon almonds, other half of the iced coffee

Total Water: 40 oz

Total Calories: 2056

I didn't need that second plate of dinner for sure.

I felt hungry all day... I have to get to the grocery store and get some more fruit! Last time I stocked up on fruit, I didn't eat any of it. Good thing my son eats it or it would have all rotted. I don't know why, I love grapes. I love apples to if I can find the right ones... I have to make sure I get some healthy snacks, and actually eat them!

Treadmill: 26 minutes/ 1 mile   9 minutes of that with 2 LB weights
Crunches: 130 (60, 35, 35)

Was kind of hard tonight, have a muscle in my right thigh that has been bothering me for about 3 days now. Tonight my left ankle also hurt :( I'm hoping that is gone tomorrow!

The Biggest Looser VOTE

First I have to say hello to 2 new faces!  Teresa and Mama Page, Thank you so much for joining me in My Day!

Here's My Day:
Breakfast: (330) Fiber Plus Bar and 9.5 oz iced coffee
Lunch: (397)Tuna Sandwich on whole wheat, 8 baby carrots wit h1 tbs light ranch
Snack: (356) 15 Chips and cheese with salsa
Snack: (140) 18 strawberry yogurt covered raisins (one serving)
Dinner: (310) Meijer Lean Entrees- Thai Style chicken  (Frozen meal, wasn't very good)
Snack: (101) 8 strawberry yogurt covered raisins
Drink: (160) Most of a 9.5 oz french vanilla iced coffee
Snack: (16) 2 strawberry yogurt covered raisins
Snack Very Late: (143) 1.1 oz  of cinomon almonds
Snack 2am: (360)  large bowl of Reese's Cereal with 2% milk
Total Water: 50 oz
Total Calories: 2353
Ice cream and chips... I have been giving in a lot lately. A chips and cheese snack like I had today? I used to have that EVERY DAY, and twice as much. I have to cut that out right now or I will be right back to that point! I checked the tortilla chips for the calories just now, and noticed that it says All Natural and is 140 calories per 11 chips. That's better then the ones I usually have in the house, my usual tortilla chips are 150 per 7 chips! This is the first time we got these, grabbed them at Aldi's. They taste just as good so I'll stick with them I guess! I just can't have them with all the fixins every day!

I feel like all I did was eat all day... I am surprised to see the calorie count, thought it was much worse. I don't know what happened. I started the day off great... it got cloudy and rainy looking outside... I don't know if that did it or what... or if trying to figure out how we are going to pay our bills did it... I don't know. Guess I was just a little stressed today. I'm good now though :) Walking is good for stress I think.

Now to The Biggest Looser. As you may know I take my biggest looser walk while I watch the show every Tuesday. The last 2 weeks I didn't do as well as usual, ever since I got sick I just hadn't worked back up to what I used to do. But that's all over! Today I reached my weekly goal of increasing the distance of my Biggest Looser walk. It was only by .01 from the last record 3 weeks ago, but I am happy with that. :) I was sweating like CRAZY but I felt good!
Treadmill: 81 minutes/ 3.19 miles A New record Woo Hoo!
The Biggest Looser is going to be over next week!!! If you watch it, you know this, and you know that we have to vote to keep one of the 2 bottom people in the race for the title of The Biggest Looser, and a quarter of a million dollars. Through the WHOLE show I was rooting for Koli. He reminds me SO much of my Ray. He acts like him, is really just so much like him... like a long lost twin. Yes, he even looks like him. The same dimple and everything! So obviously he is my favorite....
BUT, then there's Daris. I still love Koli because of Ray, but the one I see myself in is Daris. He holds everything in, and isn't as emotional as some of the others.  Tonight he came back to the ranch and weighed in... +2 Pounds! Oh Daris! My heart sank for him. He did get emotional, and at the end when he pleaded his case to us, my heart broke for him. I saw myself in him more then ever. He went home, and couldn't stick with it. He got stressed, messed up and ate the wrong things... and gained. But even though he messed up, he wants it so bad. Even though he made mistakes, he still deserves the chance to win. Even though he gained 2 pounds, I think he still deserves the chance at a better life.

I mess up ALL the time, (including today) but I know I deserve this. I won't give up, all I can do is keep trying. So that's why in the span of about 3 minutes, I changed my vote from Koli to Daris.
If you want to vote for Daris, the number is: 1-866-492-6801
of course I am fair and have been so attached to Koli that I'll give you his number too lol.
To vote for Ray, er, I mean Koli LOL: 1-866-492-6802

I'll be happy for whoever wins :) I just see so much of me in Daris. He has his whole life ahead of him and I hope he can make the best of it! I hope the same thing for myself. I hope the same thing for ALL OF US :)

Monday Weigh In -Woo Hoo!

What? What did the scale say??? I better step on that thing again... and it STILL says...

That is a loss of 5.4 pounds since last Monday!

Whuh Huh?

I'm pretty surprised! I have been back on track,

but not as well as I should be doing...

I can't explain how I lost that much...

Mind Power? Positive thinking? Don't know lol,

but I'm happy!!! Wooo hoooooo!

Here's My Day:

Lunch: Tuna Sandwich with cheese, miracle whip and pepper rings on whole wheat, 7 garden salsa sunchips, 8 baby carrots with 1 1/2 tbs light ranch, Water

Snack: Oreo Klondike Bar

Dinner: Chips (about 15) and Cheese with taco meat, tomatoes, salsa and light sour cream, 6 oz pepsi

Snack: strawberry ice cream bar
Snack late: bowl of cocoa crispie cereal with 2% milk

Total Water: 40 oz

I don't know why I am eating so much ice cream... I need to get to the store and get those 100 calorie little sundea cups...

I eat to much light ranch, today I pretty much dipped everything in it during lunch. Something I might have to change... just not ready yet...

You'd think that a loss like that would mean a great eating day... but it didn't. It wasn't horrible, but definitely not where I need to be. If I want to be able to record a big loss on my official Friday weigh in, I am going to have to do better than today! I can...And I WILL!

This is the 3rd day in a row I got my 40 oz of water :) Instead of using my usual glass that holds 12 oz, I am using 2 20 oz bottles. One in the fridge cold and ready when I finish the first one. I even switch them if one gets warm. It's much easier for me to keep track of how much and easier to make myself finish it to get in that 40 :)

Treadmill: 26 minutes/ 1 mile   8 minutes of it with 2 LB weights

Crunches: 100 (50, 25, 25)

Having my Mom notice, made me decide to take another picture. I was going to post it on the side of the blog under my other one, but I don't really see enough difference. I think I can see it a little under my chin... and the little bit of tan I have left (from being burnt lobster red) doesn't hurt lol. But I will wait till I can see a bigger difference to post another on the side. Maybe I'll post one at 45 pounds lost :) For now, here's today's:

That is NOT my Mtn Dew lol.

Someone NOTICED

I forgot to tell you yesterday! After 5 1/2 months, Someone actually noticed that I've lost weight! It was only my mom, but still! It is the first time anyone, besides Ray, has noticed!!! She isn't one to just humor people, and I'm not one to fish for compliments. So I know that she really sees it if she said so. She said she could tell around my neck and chest. It's a nice feeling that someone can actually tell the difference :) Of course Ray says he can, but he sees me on the treadmill and KNOWS I'm loosing. I have made him feel my collar bone LOL, and I know he sees the loss in places not every body would necessarily notice :) It makes me feel good anytime he says anything, and now that she noticed I feel great. I think we all secretly want someone to see it. I will be SO excited when someone besides my man and mom see it :)

The Barn Owl Deep In Thought...

about the big night ahead?

As you probably know,

I am addicted to the animal cams at  http://www.sportsmansparadiseonline.com/Home_Page.html 

This is Molly's family, and they are almost ready to fly for the first time! I think tonight because he came so close last night. Even though I stayed up way to late watching, I still got a good nights sleep! About 7 hours woo hoo! Tonight after Survivor I'll be back at the owl box lol. I will try not to stay up to late though :) I'm posting early because it will be hard to get away from them lol. I will probably relax with a iced coffee soon, after I get on the treadmill that is. I'll be back to post that and anything extra for My Day.

Here's My Day SO FAR:
Breakfast: Nothing, sleeping
Lunch: (1015) 2 large slices (these were more like medium size) of chicken garlic pizza with 1 tbs light ranch, 3 small cheese sticks with marinara, 8 oz Pepsi
Snack: (180) Strawberry shortcake ice cream bar
Dinner: (580) the other 1/2 of the Papa Murphy's Italian Salad with light ranch, cheese and croutons, 3 chicken strips with 2 tbs bbq sauce, 1 cup of milk
Drink: (200) french vanilla iced coffee 9.5 oz
Snack (about 2am): (350) 1 1/2 servings of Strawberry frosted mini wheats 1 cup ff skim milk
Total Water: 40 oz
Total Calories: 2325
I didn't eat the crust on the pizza :) I forgot to mention that yesterday. I don't know how many calories that saved... I deducted 20 per piece. Definitely room for improvement. Even though it doesn't look perfect, I'm mostly disappointed that I had pop again...
Treadmill: 29 minutes/ 1.13 miles   6 minutes of that with 2 LB weights

Attention SHAUNA

First I have to leave this message for Shauna LOL:
On the off chance that you are reading this, I wanted to tell you that I have been reading yours since you first joined mine a while back, but I haven't been able to leave comments for sometime. Even tried your "learn how to leave a comment" and no luck. I also can't follow it, for some reason it just isn't like other blogs lol. I just catch up on your post when I think about it... I wanted to tell you that those owls might leave the nest tonight, because you are where I first found out about them. And: good job the other day!!! Ok, that's all.

Now back to your regularly scheduled program ;)
Here's My Day:
Breakfast: (200) 9.5 oz French Vanilla Iced Coffee
Lunch: (356) leftover tuna casserole with cheese, 1 cup ff skim milk
Snack: (250) Oreo Klondike Bar
Dinner: (1110) Papa Murphy's- 1/2 Italian Salad (1 serving), 1 large slice of Gourmet Chicken Garlic pizza with 1 tbs light ranch, 1 medium slice of pepperoni, 2 small cheese sticks (1 serving) with marinara sauce, 6 oz pepsi, water
Snack: (100) chocolate sundae ice cream cup
Drink: (200) 9.5 oz Mocha Iced Coffee
Total Water: 50 oz
Total Calories: 2216
I knew we were having pizza, and I was set on having JUST ONE slice, but my son's pepperoni pizza looked so good... I gave in. So one of each is what I had, plus all the other junk.  I got the salad to keep me from eating more then my just one- but that didn't work. I have to get back into the NO POP NO MATTER WHAT mindset. It's so hard... Now I'm really full :( I didn't do that well for the rest of the day either... I don't know what happened, I'm disappointed in myself, but not discouraged. I know I will do better tomorrow AND will loose when I weigh in on Monday :) OH, we got a large this time instead of extra large. I think next time we will get a medium because I really don't need a large, and since I can't control myself 2 mediums would be better... and if Ray wants to eat more slices then that's fine because I don't want the leftovers calling me anyway!!!!! NOT that I plan on getting fast food again soon, just for down the road. I'm hoping remembering how full and crappy I feel right now will keep me away from it a while...

Didn't get to sleep till LATE last night. But I got up at 8:45am and had no naps today. I will be up late again, but no bringing ANYONE ANYWHERE in the morning :) So I will sleep till a decent hour and hopefully be back on schedule! Last ate at about 7pm. I have to make sure I don't eat anymore tonight. If I get hungry I will have an apple :)

I have been craving these Beaumont Iced Coffees for a couple weeks now. It is the delicious but way cheaper version of a Frappuccino. All of a sudden Aldi's doesn't have them anymore, probably because people found out about them and buy them all as soon as they hit the shelf! Finally today when I wasn't even looking for them, they were there :) I got 14 of them LOL. Oh I was tempted to buy even more, but I didn't lol. So I over indulged and had 2 today, but I want to make them last so I will try for less then one per day now.

Treadmill: 26 minutes/ 1 mile   8 minutes of that with 2 LB weights
Crunches: 120 (60, 30, 30)
Side bend/stretch: 30 to each side
At least I'm back in the GET ON THE TREADMILL NO MATTER WHAT mindset :) Six days and counting! and a little extra exercise :) Woo Hoo!
I'm off to watch the owl cam some more, so exciting! :)

My Friday Weigh In!

It's Friday, my official weigh in day, and the scale says...

 That's down 2.4 from last Friday

and 36.6 Total! Woo Hoo!!!!

My Treadmill Totals for the week are:

2 hours 55 minutes/ 6.8 miles

I am pretty happy with that :) 2.4 pounds is pretty good. I was a little worried because of my Monday weigh in... maybe that was a little high since I had over eaten Sunday AND Monday... but I was hoping I could turn it around by Friday, and I did! Yay! I am a little surprised, but sooo happy :)

Last night I really did try to go to bed. At about 11:40 I got back up though. I couldn't sleep, and was in the mood to clean, so I did. I also had more water and one of those 100 calorie ice cream cups (those are one of the best ideas I have had lol). I got about an hour sleep, brought Ray and got about another 2 hours and got up with my son for school. Then today another 4 hour nap. But again, I am very tired right now and am going to try and go to bed. It will probably be about midnight and I should be able to sleep... we will see!

Here's My Day:

Breakfast: (275) 1/2 bagel with cream cheese, 4 oz orange juice

Snack: (306) 8 tortilla chips with 3 tbs salsa con queso (taco bell brand and NOT good)

Lunch: nothing- sleeping

Snack: (67) 10 baby carrots with 1 tbs light ranch

Dinner EARLY: (1132?) 7 chicken wings (with a red pepper, soy sauce type mixture and fried)about 4 without any skin, 1 1/2 cups of white rice (made with bacon eggs and soy sauce.) 8 oz cherry coke

Snack: (80) 1 chocolate chip cookie

Dinner (409)again@ dinner time:  2 chicken wings, 1/2 cup rice

Snack: (310) 2 chocolate chip cookies with 1 cup whole milk

Snack: (403) 2 smore's

Total Water: 40 oz

Total Calories: 2982   *wince*

Went to my mom's today for dinner. I knew she was making this asain style chicken wing and rice dish she makes, and it is SO good. So I tried not to eat much today... don't know what was up with the chips and cheese, I don't like it... in fact, I'm going to throw it out as soon as I'm done because I'm the only one who eats it anyway. I tried to remember to bring my water so I wouldn't give into pop but I left it. It's no excuse, I could have had whole milk... Way to much sweet snacks over there, and I'm paying for it. My stomach hurts, and I'm sure my sons will to when he gets home... (who knows what he's eating right now!)

We had a nice time over there today. Everyone is in a good mood. Saw all my brothers today (both the ones that live there and the other came to eat) My Mom was in a really happy mood, made dinner and then a fire in the yard later. Something about sitting outside with a fire is so relaxing. She had smore's that her and my son had planned a while back, that was fun too. My son is staying the night there, and I'm not to worried about it like I usually am. Everything seems good right now :)

Lately when I go over there I eat junk I shouldn't... I think I gave myself a free pass last Sunday and Monday because we don't eat over there often, AND it was Mother's Day... but after today that is IT. No more free passes. If I am going to keep loosing weight I have to stick with it no matter what day it is, what holiday or how I'm feeling. I'm not going to beat myself up about today, besides eating to much it was a really nice day :) I'm sure she will have left overs tomorrow, but I will resist. If I do have any, it will be a reasonable amount and not 2 times!!!

I didn't even realize that I haven't had any fast food in a week! Last Saturday was the last time, and that was because my brother took me out to eat! :) To be honest, it's mostly becuase of money, but I didn't even miss it this week, so that's good right! I didn't even realize... now tomorrow Ray wants Papa Murphy's and I'm ok with that, but I am dedicated to having ONLY ONE slice. I CAN DO IT!!! :)

Treadmill: 26 minutes/ 1 mile     5 minutes of it with 2 LB weights

I came home and did the treadmill like a good girl :) 

OH! I forgot to tell you that while I was having the chocolate chip cookies, my brother was trying to convince me to get the pudding out of the fridge and dip them in it!!! That just sounded delicious to me LOL, but I didn't. That's something right? LOL.

I'm tired...

Well, I tried really hard to stay up all day. I am just SO tired all the time :( I ended up falling asleep at about 1 until 3, so a 2 hour nap. Somehow I am still exhausted! I am hoping this is a good thing. It's only 9:38pm, but I am off to bed as soon as I post this. HOPEFULLY it will mean a good nights sleep, and staying up all day tomorrow :)

I just got done reading MargieM's blog. Most of you probably already read it, but just in case you don't, I had to mention it! Her post today was awesome :) Her post are always so enjoyable to read, this one is so creative and everyone should read it!!!!! Here is a link:
http://myhealthylivingthruweightcontrol.blogspot.com/2010/05/in-playground.html

Here's My Day:
Breakfast: (275) 1/2 bagel with cream cheese, 4 oz orange juice
Lunch: (393) 1/2 tuna sandwich, 1 cup left over casserole, 5 baby carrots with 1 tbs light ranch, Water
Dinner: (890) 1 asparagus stuffed chicken, 1 cup of broccoli cheese rice(pkg) with cheese, 1/2 cup of peas, 2 cups of milk
Total Water: 30 oz
Total Calories: 1558
I think I should go back to smaller meals and more snacks... I am still over eating a bit. I went back for more at dinner that I DID NOT need. Having no snacks is partly because I'm sleeping at that time lol. It is keeping my calories down more, but I think I feel better when I have snacks through out the day... we'll see.
Treadmill: 26 minutes/ 1.01 miles
Goodnight!
Ok, I got back up, had a sundae cup and 10 more ounces of water. So that brings my calories up 100 to 1658, and my water to 40 oz.

I need MORE Water, LESS Sleep.

Well, maybe not LESS sleep, just sleep at better times. Ever since I was sick last Sunday, I think I have taken a nap EVERY DAY. Not a short nap either, like a 4 hour nap in the middle of the day! Today when I got up it was after 3 (so I only had a half sandwich since dinner wasn't far off. While I am glad I did that, I was also starving before dinner!) Then at about 8pm I was SO tired, so I laid down, and slept about a half hour. I really need to get back on a schedule! It is hard with Ray's work schedule, but some how I was doing it, and I think it really helps with my weight loss, and over all well being.
Here's My Day
Breakfast: (275) 1/2 bagel with cream cheese, 4 oz orange juice
Lunch: (263) 1/2 tuna sandwich, 9 garden salsa sunchips, 8 baby carrots with 1 tbs light ranch, water
Dinner: (632) 2 cups (2 servings)Tuna casserole, 1/2 cup of peas, 1 1/2 cups of FF skim milk
Snack: (390) 38 pieces (1 1/2 servings) of Strawberry frosted mini wheats with 1 1/2 cup ff skim milk
Total Water: 40 oz
Total Calories: 1560
I did ok today. I should have had only one serving of tuna casserole. I drank enough water today, which I have not been doing. That is one thing that will help me not be so hungry all the time!

Treadmill: 28 minutes/1.08 miles

Oh, I added a dew pictures today. I added a picture to the Easy Tuna Casserole, under the 'Recipes'. I also took my May Pictures of me today. I would like to keep those at the first of the month, but I didn't get to it this time with all that was going on. It is with the new camera, which turns out isn't as good as my old one :( Oh well. If my arms look discolored, it's because they are lol. I am no longer red, and most of the peeling is done, and it left my arms... blotchy.
Also, the other day I just wrote in my weight even though I had taken a picture like usual. I was just to lazy to mess with it- but it's there now :)

Besides being to tired all day, I do feel good and like I'm back on track :)

A Give Away

from Endurance Isn't Only Physical. A Chance to Win a Water Filtration System!
http://enduranceisntonlyphysical.blogspot.com/2010/05/zerowater-pitcher-giveaway.html

What is GOING ON?

I don't know what is going on... everyday I say tomorrow will be better, and something else happens.
Today I woke up with a horrible head ache. I didn't realize it at first, but it IS my 2nd day without pop. So it was probably a caffeine withdrawal. The MAIN reason I have to stop drinking Mtn Dew. The head ache soon turned into a migraine and I was in bed until about 1pm. (except the one time I had to get up and be sick) So it wasn't the perfect start to my starting over, but I did ok...
I was SO HUNGRY all day, I think by over eating (especially yesterday and Sunday) I stretched my stomach back out. Seriously. I was hungry ALL day. I didn't give in though. I grabbed a bag of chips and literally thought "No! What are you doing!" and put it back after 2. I tried to do good with my portions and have some veggies. I need to do better, but I'm ok with how I did today.

As you saw yesterday, I gained 2.8 pounds. Ugh, depressing. The only good thing is that it wasn't my Friday weigh in, so I still have time to fix it before it goes permanently on my weight record! BUT it was still a bummer :( Big time. When I weighed in last Monday, I knew it wasn't really accurate, because I had been so sick. So I figured I hadn't really lost. BUT if I would have done well this week, I could have lost again, or at least kept it the same!!!!
Now Tessa's challenge only has 3 weeks left!!! I can't believe it has gone by so fast! So to get to my target for the challenge I will have to loose 15.75 pounds!!! That would be 5.25 per week... that's a LOT. I don't loose that much per week. I don't think I can do it, but I want to try my hardest. If I come close to that I will be happy. If I try my hardest and don't make it, I will be ok with that. I can't change how crappy I have done in the past, but I can try harder now :) (oh, I'm not even going to mention I am in competition with Emaciated Asphyxiation, I'm just going to pretend all I have to do is get to 271.85 pounds, and am only against myself LOL!!! Less stress that way haha)

I have actually been getting pretty depressed. Being sick and burnt threw my eating all off, and kept me off the treadmill. Later in the week, some of that was just an excuse, no doubt about it. On top of all that, I haven't been doing anything I have to do. It's like ever since Sunday I have been on autopilot. I was just getting through the days... I can't really explain it, I can't really remember most of the week, I can't believe it has been 9 days because it doesn't seem like it... I'm actually going to read my blog entries because I just can't really remember much... it's weird. Just because I was tired and down I guess... I know I had ZERO ambition, the few days I got on the treadmill were forced, but I'm glad I did. I haven't been keeping up with housework either... my house is trashed and that always depresses me.
OH! Today I realized 3 of my bills are late! I never do that! Last week I just didn't do anything I needed to do! Now I gained, and hate the thought of getting on the treadmill. My house is a mess. On top of all that, 3 $30 late fees on the bills I missed, UGH!!!

I guess I just got overwhelmed and shut down... that's the only way I can explain it. It is times like this that I really fear I am more like my mother then I want to admit. I hate it, and it only depresses me more...  I hate this feeling.
I especially hate that I fell back into old habbits that easily... maybe not as bad as before, but I was getting there- FAST.

All I can do is move forward. Tomorrow get started on all the laundry and dishes that are piled up. Ray did start on the laundry for me today, even did a little dishes. I don't know if he felt bad because I had a migraine, or if my mood scared him into it? lol, either way, it helped a lot and I'll get my butt back in gear tomorrow.

Here's My Day:
Lunch: (437) Tuna Sandwich on whole wheat, 10 baby carrots with 1 tbs light ranch, water
Snack: (9) 2 sunchips
Dinner: (590) 1 1/2 cup hamburger helper(with 96% lean beef), 1/2 cup mixed veggies (canned), 1 cup FF skim milk
Snack: (100) chocolate sundae cup
Snack: (260) strawberry frosted mini wheats with 1 cup ff skim milk
Total Water: 35 oz
Total Calories: 1396
I am hungry right now, but I know I don't need anything! It's going to be hard, because I can tell my stomach isn't like was before I started over eating again last week :( I know I can't keep eating though. I am pretty sure I will need that 4 am snack that I haven't needed in a while now... if I have to have one, I will make it small, just so I can go back to bed.

Treadmill: 64 minutes/2.5 miles
Tonight was The Biggest Looser. That show is such a motivation to me. I'm sure it gets old for some people, not me! Maybe because the people on it are actually my size, and to see them work so hard makes me realize I can do more. I try to walk a little more every week on Tuesdays while I watch it. WELL that is another thing I ruined this week. I couldn't go farther then my last record of 3.18 miles. In fact I couldn't even go that far. BUT I will next week :)

Today was OK, Tomorrow will be even better!!!