Tuesday, April 13, 2010

A Girl???

I logged on today... and there was something different... it was... a new follower! I have to take a second and say thank you to Tricia for joining me in My day! I really appreciate all of you who support me. It really has made the difference.

I had a good day today, but realized I have gone backwards a little in the past 2 weeks. Well, if you go by eating fast food- I have gone backwards a LOT. I was on the treadmill and it just hit me, If I am going to eat like I have been, why am I on the treadmill??? All this hard work and I waste it by eating take out... I HAVE to get back to where I was a few weeks ago. Don't get me wrong, I am very proud of how far I have come, and even this last week was better then before 2010... but it is slowly getting back there... and I don't want to EVER get back there. I have to take control now, before that happens! I am NOT saying that I will never have fast food again, that's just not possible for me right now... but I NEED to stop thinking about it daily, and thinking of it as a meal option for 'whenever.' Otherwise all my hard work will be wasted.

Here's My Day:
Breakfast: (330) Fiber Plus Bar- Dark chocolate almond, 9.5 oz mocha iced coffee
Lunch: (940) Chicken wrap(Tyson's breaded chicken fillet cut up, lettuce, cheddar and pepper jack cheeses, light ranch, flour burrito size tortilla), 15 cheddar sunchips, Water
Drink: (60) 6 oz Brisk lemon iced tea
Snack: (300) about 1 cup ice cream- Kodiak Island Fudge
Dinner: (820) Pizza Hut- 1 portion (1/2 of the small 'pan')  of chicken Alfredo, 1 cheese stick, Water
Drink: (200) 9.5 oz french vanilla iced coffee (why? I already can't sleep... smart right?)
Total Water: 37 oz
Total Calories: 2650
Yeah, that's a lot of calories :(  I am proud of myself for sticking with the Just ONE rule for the pizza hut :) It was really hard for me, cause that stuff was SO good...
Treadmill: 88 minutes/3.07 miles (had to take a potty break at 48 minutes, but still a new time AND distance record for my biggest looser walk! woo HOO!)
Crunches: 160 (70,30,30,30)

Well, I am going to share this because it's on my mind...
my son likes a girl! Ahhh!!!! He told me though, so that's good :) but... wasn't he just 3 years old?  He can't like a girl!!!
He is 11, but so much younger then I was when I was 11. I just... was shocked lol. He told me she's in his class and I had to pry out of him that she is blond. That's all the info I could get... a name was non negotiable... I'll set up the chair and bright light in the basement for an interrogation tomorrow...
haha. no not really.
After my initial shock (that I didn't show) I guess it's kinda cute...I think it's just an innocent crush... but it raises so many worries for the future...
I have already told him he can come to me about anything... I've used tv as a segway, I try to monitor what we watch, but stuff just jumps out when you least expect it! the things they say on tv... it's crazy... but I have a couple times asked if he knew 'what that meant' when he glanced at me... he says no and I say do you want to know? And he says NO... so I say "Well, if you decide you do want to know, let me know. If you ever have any questions you can ask me ok? You can talk to me about anything." I'm sure he KNOWS he can talk to me about anything... but that doesn't mean he WILL... My mom never talked to me about ANYTHING, so it's brand new to me...(when I was 15 and told my mom I wanted birth control, she said "no you don't" and it was never brought up again)...but I think I'm doing the right thing.... He told me he likes a girl... so that's a start right??? :) that does make me happy. He is such a great kid. We have such a good relationship, and I can only hope and pray it stays that way as he gets older... he will be a teenager sooner then later.... OMG... I can't talk about that right now... scary...


  1. You're absolutely right about the fast food. By eating that way, you are sabotaging yourself. Is there a part of you that drives that behavior on purpose, because deep down, you have doubts that you deserve good health, and a happy life? I know that was certainly the case for me.

    I used to eat fast food quite often, telling myself that I would stop, but I just kept going back. It was so much easier than cooking, so much more gratifying. So hard to say no.

    I didn't stop overnight, I still eat at Carl's Jr. once in a while. But honestly, I really prefer not to, and not just because of health. I don't like the taste anymore. It doesn't taste healthy. It represents everything I have worked so hard to leave behind.

    There came a day, though, where I simply decided I didn't want to do it anymore. I didn't want all those empty carbs, all that grease and corn syrup inside of me anymore.

    Nobody can make you stop, nobody can convince you to eat healthier. It has to come from inside of you, and you have to want it badly enough to make a stand.

    The one thing that's been hardest for me, fast food wise? Pizza. OMG, I love the stuff. I haven't eaten any since early February. We used to have pizza every Friday night.

    Next time you start to pull into a fast food place, think about your treadmill. Think about how many miles you walked that week. Think about how good it will feel to throw away those clothes you are wearing, because they are too big. You can do this.

    Stop at Walmart tomorrow. Go down the diet/health aisle. Look for something called a Met-RX meal replacement bar. They run about $1.68 or so. Peanut Butter Pretzel, Super Colossal Cookie Crunch(tastes like chocolate cake!), Peanut Butter Caramel and Apple Cinnamon crisp are the flavors, if I remember right. One of these is honestly a meal for me, and my wife eats half of one if she lacks time to eat before teaching belly dance(we own a performing arts studio).

    Give one a try, I think they taste better than any other "energy bar" out there, and I have tried a few. They don't melt, so you can keep them in the glove box of your car. I always have a couple and some water in my Jeep. That way, if I am on the road, and I miss a meal, I have no excuse to stop in and grab fast food "just this once". It really has helped me.

    They have more carbs than I'd like, but that includes some fiber, and they have plenty of protein, which is a must for me. Without enough protein, I get snappy. Doesn't have to be these, but you should find something that stores well, that you don't mind eating. It shouldn't be something you love, because then you'll just eat all of it, without really realizing it. I know, I tried keeping beef jerky around.

    You've been doing really well, and you have people supporting you. Don't give up, take the next step.

    By the way, I was reading some articles a couple days ago, and they brought to mind some things you said about your mom. She sounds a lot like mine, and if you want, email me and I will pass on the articles and my thoughts. Fjolnirsson at gmail dot com.

  2. Hey Tina, as Byron said fast food can be our downfall. I am just like you, have an insatiable appetite for fast food. Would use every excuse in the book to go through a drive in, trouble is I didn't stop at just one drive through, I'd go to one, get what I wanted there, then head to the next one, etc, etc. Sometimes I would do as many as 4 or 5 in row. Then to top it off I would stop at the convenience store and buy junk food. I have stopped that distructive behaviour and do manage to eat ok if we do eat out. I have found that by ordering a steak sandwich, with baked potato and vegetables it is the next best thing to cooking at home. Like Byron I do try to avoid fast food places and keep 100 calorie snack packs and water in my vehicle and I also have meal replacement bars. Depending on what time of day it is dictates what I will have. Meal replacement bars are a life saver if you are in a hurry. You have taken small steps to get where you are so just keep on keeping on. We are all here for you.

  3. :) You're welcome. I'm happy to be here.