Tuesday, April 13, 2010


I am so tired.
I'm still stressed about the whole Mom situation, talking to my brother today did NOT help. No one wants to see anything from my (or my son's) point of view. Do you know how many grandparents WISH they could see there grand kids more? But can't because they live to far, or work, or whatever... She lives 7 minutes away. Does not work. Doesn't do anything, well except play poker online and smoke all day. Instead of being grateful she is even aloud to see my son, she takes it for granted. For his spring break all he wanted was to go over there, and you know how many times she seen him? NONE.

You know, I used to handle stress alot better. Now it is just bothering me everyday. It's been since Tuesday I think... and I'm still all mad about it! BUT it hasn't been since Tuesday has it? It has been a LONG time coming. It will never change either... that's the worst part.
It would be fine with me if he never went over there again, but her and her boyfriend are my sons grandparents. He loves them. I'm just so tired of this, tired of them. She could never understand how I feel, because she never cared about her kids the way I do my son. In fact, why am I surprised at her? Her own kids were never enough to make her happy... why would her grand child be any different?
Oh well...
I know I'm not talking about it with anyone anymore. She will probably call me in a couple weeks and act like nothing happened. My brother just wants to defend her, and my Ray listens and is so supportive- but I'm sure he has heard enough after 6 days lol.

This morning I was out grocery shopping before I had anything to eat, which is a big mistake. Ray and I stopped at Burger King and grabbed some of those new muffin sandwiches (that they ripped off from McDonald's- great commercial by the way) and we got home and ate them. He didn't like his at all, so he didn't want his second one. I was good and only ordered one, but then ate his cause he didn't want it- not good. I don't know what it is about Burger King, but it made me sick, AGAIN. Last time it was a whopper. So anyway, I am guessing I kept mine in my stomach and not his... and this is not normal for me. I don't get sick like that. Stress? or just the Burger King?
I felt sick ALL day. Then this evening I felt better and like I was starving! I hadn't had dinner, so Ray made me a chicken wrap, at 11:00 pm... yeah, my eating was pretty bad today. I didn't drink hardly any water till the last couple hours...
Here it is:
Breakfast: (?) 2 Burger King muffin sandwiches(like a sausage mcmuffin) ONE stayed in my stomach I think...
(200) 1 Beaumont iced coffee
Snack: (310) tuna salad and crackers
Snack: (22) 3 starburst jelly beans
Snack: slice of apple
Snack: (270) swiss rolls
Dinner: (820) Chicken Wrap and Sunchips
Total Water: 35 oz
Calories: 1627 Plus Burger King
I feel sick again now, shouldn't have eaten the wrap (or all the other junk I ate!) I am going to go to bed, but probably won't be able to sleep. My schedule is wrecked plus being to stressed to sleep...

Oh! I DO have some good news for today. I only started feeling stressed since I talked to my brother. Before that, even though I didn't feel good I was having a good day. After school the 3 of us went to see Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. (I know we are late lol. It was part of the family movie thing they do for the movies that are getting old, so it was $3.50 for me and Ray and free for our son.) We had a nice time. Cute movie, it had me laughing a few times :) we all enjoyed it. Mr. T did a good job :)
ALSO, even though I felt like crap, I forced myself to get on the treadmill. Didn't make me feel ANY better, but I'll be glad I did it tomorrow.
Treadmill: 22 minutes/.77 mile (10 minutes of it with 2LB weights)

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