Friday, April 9, 2010

The Weigh In and Family Life

First things first! I would like to thank Michaela for joining me in My Day! It really has helped me more then I could have ever thought to have people supporting me! You happened to come at a time when I REALLY need it too! So thanks :)
In my title it says this would be "about my weight loss journey, my life and whatever else I feel like rambling about"... I do get to rambling lol. But I haven't really talked about my life to much until lately. ACTUALLY My weight loss is so much of my life right now! Maybe that's part of it. I've always been pretty private, but I realize as I get older, that if I would have talked to someone in other stages of my life, they might have been easier to get through... Back to My Life in a minute.
Now it's time for the weigh in! And the scale says:
A loss of .8 pounds! I really thought I would gain this week. I know it's normal to go up and down a little,
but I really don't think a gain would have been good for my motivation right now!
So I am pretty happy, relieved I guess  :)
Woo Hoo! lol, ever see someone so happy to loose 0.8 pounds? LOL
That brings my grand total to: 29.4 Pounds Lost!
My Totals for this week are:
Treadmill: 3 hours 50 minutes/8.03 miles
(new record distance for me)
Crunches: 240

Trying to get used to the new camera... It's darker then the other one. Not sure how to crop pictures the way I want to either, I'll figure it out though!

So I really fell off the wagon as far as fast food this week. It was spring break, and I had done the 'no fast food' the week before. I think that really messed me up! Not to mention it didn't help with the weight loss... BUT that is no excuse. I shouldn't have eaten so much fast food this week either way!!!!
I am going to go back to the original plan, and not deprive myself of things I want, but really watch my portions. I think I was getting ahead of myself and my baby steps.
I won't be saying "I'm not going to do this all week." Or "no more buffets for me." These things only make me want them even more!!! I think that's why after last week I completely went overboard with the fast food this week. I NEED to cut down on fast food anyway, I know it's not healthy and besides that I don't want to waste the money on it!
Today is the last week day of Spring break, and we went to a buffet for lunch. I did ok, one plate would be excellent, but 2 is ok. I got really small portions and didn't finish anything I didn't want to (in the past I would eat it all, whether I liked it or not). I don't plan on making buffets a habit again, but today that's what we did.
This week I have been going without breakfast a lot. It's not on purpose, I am going to still try and have SOMETHING for breakfast. It's because of spring break, and getting up later. I end up just waiting for lunch. Monday we will be back into a routine!

Here's My Day:
Breakfast: Nothing
Lunch: (about 1400) East Garden Buffet(2 plates, small portions) 1/4 cup white rice, pineapple chicken, baked chicken, jalapeno chicken, 3 crab cheese, 1 small egg role, about 1/4 cup sweet and sour sauce, Parmesan chicken, 1/2 piece of garlic bread, crab salad, 1/4 cup chocolate pudding. And a bout a half cup soft serve ice cream. Water.
Dinner: (430) 1 slice of leftover Italian gourmet pizza, small salad with 1/2 tbs light ranch, less then 1/8 cup mozzarella cheese, 1/2 tbs almond accents. Water
Snack: (75) 1/8 cup starburst jelly beans
Total Water: 36 oz
Total Calories: about 1905

Treadmill: 22 minutes/.8 mile  10 minutes of that with 2 LB weights
Crunches: 120

I have to thank everyone that left a comment yesterday, I was actually really upset. Haven't heard from my Mom today, but that's fine. My son of course wants to go over there tomorrow, but I doubt that's going to happen... It would really be less stress on me if he never went over there again... 
Asphyxiated Emancipation said: "Sometimes, the people who are supposed to be our support network just bring despair and anxiety into our lives." That is so true. It doesn't seem fair- but the truth isn't always fair I guess.

To answer a question from the comments, Yes I did grow up in a smoke filled place full of grouchy people. It wasn't a trailer, it was my moms 3 bedroom townhouse, which she was evicted from about 5 years ago when the police raided it (another story for another time). It wasn't very big and it was her, her boy friend, me and my 3 brothers. (For about 2 years my baby also, till we got the hell out of there!)
How did I survive it? Well, I never even smelled the smoke, even when my 6th grade teacher pulled me aside because she thought I had been smoking, from the smell of my clothes. We grew up in it and it was just everyday, we didn't ever know how bad it was. The walls were yellow, my brother had asthma, so I guess that should have given someone a clue!!!
As far as the anger in the house all the time, I survived that by being just as angry as everybody else. I started drinking when I was about 14(not heavy, it could have been a lot worse). I would get depressed a lot, mostly I was just a B****. Not because I wanted to be, because I had to be.
I like to think I was always a good person deep down... I couldn't do the things my brothers did, even though I was the oldest lol. It made me feel bad to steal, so my first time was my last (they made a career of it) I could never do a lot of things they did... (I love my brothers, it wasn't all bad, and wasn't really their fault) I just wanted out of there as soon as possible.
Maybe having my son is how I really survived it... that completely changed me. All of a sudden all I wanted in life was to be a good mother. I calmed down so much, was no longer the B**** I used to be. I didn't want to drink anymore, and once we got out of there everything was SO much better.
So that's how I survived it - the short version lol. BUT as you can see, I am 290.6 pounds, so if I really want to survive it I have to do something about that!!! and I am :)
Don't get me wrong, I don't think it's my mom's fault I'm fat... I have ALWAYS been over weight, but it's been the last 10 years I have gained steadily. The last 5 probably the worst... Maybe deep down it starts with her, but I could say that about ANY problem in my life... I'm an adult and I could have fixed this a long time ago. I take full responsibility for my weight and that's why it's my responsibility to change it!
There. Some 'weight loss journey', some 'my life' and some 'rambling'. I hit all three of them! lol.
:) thanks for listening.


  1. Hi Tina, wow, I feel good that I made a difference to your day. Thank you for sharing some of your background. Yup, you are a good person and I would say a natural-born survivor. A brave lady, and a committed mom. I had a miserable childhood myself. But people would never guess that to see me now. I believe we make our own life story as we go along, and to a certain extent, we decide who we want to be. I know I did. Keep up the great work, I reckon it was the 3+ hrs of treadmill that did it 4 u this week. Yay Tina!!!

  2. thanks so much Michaela!

    yeah if it weren't for my treadmill, I wouldn't have lost anywhere near what I have so far!